Would you date a person with a disability?

Question

notatrap · Accepted Answer

I have had epilepsy for many years now until it was controlled. I also had three major surgeries that I don't want to get into.. but I'm mostly recovered after many years of hard, hard physical therapy and work. I went down to an unhealthy 110 pounds, many times, unable to walk.. I convinced myself my life was over and I wouldn't be able to have a normal life again. My subconscious has blocked out memories of them pulling tubes out of my lung, post-op. And throwing up blood for a month after. Not being able to walk.. and looking like a ghost.

People driving a car after hearing stories where people have died from having an episode while driving? No wonder my friends didn't want to get in my car or let me drive. I thought it was because I was kind of a fast driver... but once I realized it was probably the 0.01% chance I would have a seizure... I was mortified with.. shame. And of course I've never had one behind the wheel, I have an aura or a feeling before an onset episode. Its like a starving headache.

I think I legitimately entered a unique psychosis; which may not seem strange nowadays... but I am just coming out of it... or still coming out of it. Its very, very difficult. Again, I was rushed to the hospital hundreds of times. I had no visitors. I missed many years of my life. I did not have a choice in my development, but I'm learning to grow into my age now that I'm past my own tragedies.

I can't explain to you how frightening it is to tell someone that I wanted to be with that I had or have controlled epilepsy and like 10 surgical scars on my body. I lost count lol

The only thing I can't stand are the stigmas some people place on people who have a condition, drug abuse, disease, disorder, addiction, etc. That they are 'weak, dysfunctional, or rejects of society'

If you were blessed with good health and a loving family, share that with those who need it most. You might not have the right answers for them, just be. Be there, with love. God knows you're not perfect either, and the last thing you like to feel is indifferent or left out.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think it would partly depend on what that was, and what we're categorizing as a disibility. And do we know about it before it gets serious?

Would I date someone with a physical disability... like, let's say a prosthetic leg as opposed to something like Bipolar. Depends in large part how they handle it. I have several friends in wheelchairs. I have friends who you'd never know were deaf; most don't notice the hearing aids. I know people with limited hearing who let it be their excuse for treating someone badly.

With some people, the disibility becomes "who they are." They define themselves by it, are miserably bitter people, and they do a lot to hurt others; they also play the sympathy card. Others I know have those same things going on, but they live life without letting that "ism" limit their whole lives. They want to do something, they'll figure out a good way to do it. Or use it to their advantage without abusing it. I'd date someone who had a good outlook, was pretty independent (as opposed to using it as an excuse or a free card to let them act as badly as they want). But yes, there are things that would probably stop me from pursuing. There are also sometimes certain "levels" on what I would be ok with or not ok with, which would take too long to describe.

mrfoox · Accepted Answer

I got no problem with that. I myself got essential tremor, it's not severe enough to hinder my life, but it's the type of problem that tends to get worse as one ages.
I wouldn't have a problem with someone with an disability, I'd just be concerned if it's an severe one. It wouldn't make me turn them away, but I'd worry, like I wouldn't be able to support two people on my paycheck, so realistically they had to be able to work or have some type of income, if we were to be long term

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I definitely would - if I liked the guy - he would have to be attractive and have a good personality and be able to bring a contribution to the relationship - like I this year I liked a disabled guy that might make more money than me - but I never asked how much he makes

meesegoMoo · Answer

Yes, but only one I could handle. It wouldn't be fair to either of us for me to do otherwise. Also severe learning disabilities aren't gonna fly. I'm not sure how much they can really consent.

So, morality allowing, yes. So long as I can meet their needs without them sacrificing quality of life. I have my own health problems, the blind shouldn't lead the blind unless at least one of them has adjusted to the sightless world.

Account · Answer

No, I can barely take care of myself.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

No. I was married for 17 years to a woman with MS and it was a horrible experience.

Anonymous · Answer

No because I've heard and seen stories about the tremendous amount of responsibility and burden that's involved in being with someone like that from helping to wipe their ass to helping them piss makimg sure a building has an accessible wheel ramp to making sure your vehicle has enough space to fit a wheel chair to helping them get dressed and that's only if their paralyzed from the waist down. The higher the paralysis the worse and more difficult it gets on the partner from everything stated above to helping them eat and brush their teeth and floss and combing their hair helping them change their clothes getting dressed and undressed laying them in bed or sitting them down in a chair to turning the tv or radio to a different channel. Then there's literally no sex life either so you're deprived of having your physical needs met by your partner and lack of hand holding or hugging and god forbid if you had kids with your partner before they became paralyzed or from a previous relationship and if you have rent or a mortgage to pay on top of all that it would be to much on any one person to handle. That partner would be forced to hire nurses to help around the clock especially if they have to work and raise kids and possibly even hire a nanny to help with the kids as well in some instances depending on how bad and the extent of the situation. And if you think this is the slightest bit of exaggeration look at the movie with kevin hart and brian Cranston that came out last year or the year before where brian cranston's character is a quadriplegic

ScarletJean · Answer

I have, its not a big deal really. honestly enjoyed him.. Just be prepared to have to check on your dates. with places that will accommodate properly. You dont want to invite them to places they can't move around properly. Its annoying for them and you. The way I see it, is everyone has baggage. Some people you see it visibly, while others hide it.

Киттйлинк · Answer

I think when you fall in love with a person you tend to not focus on imperfections.. if you get to know someone you never know if you will develop feelings for them and then bam! 💥!! Suddenly you’re in love and it’s not like you said I’m going to fall in love with this person because they don’t or do have a disability or anything like that.. it just happens if you get to know someone and there’s chemistry so I can’t say I would or I wouldn’t... if it happens, it happens!

Anonymous · Answer

As long as someone is taking care of their disability as best as they can and you've worked out getting along with each other. I've got bipolar disorder and I take medication and see my psych regularly to manage myself. It takes a long time and experience to get a handle on any disability. It's like taking care of any problem that interferes with living normally: alcoholism, drug addiction, epilepsy, MS... They are all levels of difficulty. Some great, some less so. It takes courage. Some people can't face it with you. Some people can't even face what THEY need to do...

Darcia · Answer

Yes, I’ve done that before and mostly do it cause I know how it feels to be with someone like that. Date someone who struggles daily and just wants to be loved it’s no way to not live. They are normal as they can be and that shouldn’t be a problem in dating. You know the world ain’t perfect and everyone in it has their problem or situation why should that stop them.

Bee-Hatch · Answer

Disability is to wide ranging a term to just say yes or no. I'd want to know more about how it affects him. And being blunt I'd want to know if a physical relationship was possible, that is one of the reasons you get together after all rather than just be friends.

JohnDon9 · Answer

Yes ofcourse in my opinion normal people would get what they want , but for people who are special it takes a lot more of an effort, in this world where people look for perfection i would rather love someone who needs it and values it more , for a fact loving someone who is special for their circumstances is way more special , so to your matter yes , if you have a chance to love someone and it makes it challenging its worth it

razelove · Answer

If it couldn't be passed on, and we could still have sex. I want to have more kids, and I'm already worried about passing on my epilepsy, or dysgraphia to my kids, though I don't think those are inheritable. I wouldn't want to pass on something truly fun like cystic fibrosis, lou gherigs, or anything like that.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

Yes. May depend to what extent, but actually my 2 relationships have been people with health issues to differenr extents. In between them, i was talking to a woman who was disabled. That didn't bother me, her excessive eagerness did, i tried to tell her to calm down, she didint listen.

ultimatecatfish · Answer

Depends on two things:

1) When did it occur. If it happened after we were in a steady relationship, then I would support her wholeheartedly and it would not be a reason to break up. I would be hesitant to start a relationship as the caregiver burden is pretty hectic.

2) Type of disability. Any mental health stuff or brain injury is a big no (given point 1 of course). Blindness, deafness etc I can perhaps consider

WalterBlack · Answer

It depends on the disability. I enjoy having an active lifestyle. If she wasn't able to go snowboarding or mountain biking with me, that would be a major disadvantage.

Dusty_06 · Answer

Did it once, never again. I understand- yes you got dealt a bad hand, but instead of moaning and groaning about it- be positive and not remind me every 5 minutes about it. It got hard to separate truth from bullshit after so long

BlackRoseFairy · Answer

I used to be married to one. The issue with people with disabilities are not the people themselves, but the people who surround them.
Ftr we didn't get divorced because of his disabilities, there were other factors that led to that.

maddog998 · Answer

Yes! My boyfriend has very bad PTSD because of his past and he also does have a few disabilities, he came out and told me and I'll never love him less ❤

lateralusqueen · Answer

Depends, my boyfriend has severe anxiety & takes meds for it & for depression as well. I love him, it's been a little hard considering he can't work a job but he's a great guy none the less

SirRexington · Answer

Depends on the disabilities. I have autism, tourettes, ODD, OCD and mood and anxiety disorder. I'm fine with a girl being autistic or having a mood disorder because I would likely understand her situation and we could help each other out.

jtg13 · Answer

Yep, spent a lot of time with disabled folk. My mom being one of them. It's worth investing energy into them just as much as one who isn't

Pix3l · Answer

As long as I dont have to take care of him like a child, yes. I still want to date a competent adult.

AnnaPop · Answer

I would as long as they were in the right frame of mind. I feel they are just like everyone else just having to do things a little differently.

MelissaMarie9614 · Answer

Yeah I would definitely give it a shot. I used to be autistic myself when I was a kid, but now I've grown out of that so I know what it's like.

BCA6010 · Answer

Sure, though it would depend on a few factors, namely if her self-confidence wasn't so bad that it would drag us down.

Kitty46 · Answer

Yes, I have Cerebral Pasly & Aspergers. My ex-boyfriend still wanted me, I met him on OkCupid last year. I met another guy on OkCupid few days ago, we still friends, but he wants more, it’s too soon.

Poppymarie · Answer

It would depend on what kind of disability but yeah probably if we liked each other

mixedforever29 · Answer

yes! but depends on what type of disability they have.

katrina123456 · Answer

Yes I’ve before with intellectual disabilities/Autism. didn’t work out with them.

babywerewoof · Answer

I wouldn't rule it out. I bet there's super cool handicapable guys out there😊

pigoat · Answer

As long as we can still fuck, yes Otherwise no because i need to fuck and i wouldn't want to cheat on her

dbr1987 · Answer

No problem

cth96190 · Answer

No. I would not have any physical desire for such a person.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

Not likely. Paul McCartney married one, and it didn't work out.

Rory2706 · Answer

I would! It they have a great personality then they have already won my heart! I wouldn't mind the responsibility of being there for them when needed. I only care about personality and if they have trust in me.

ChronicleRahl · Answer

I personally wouldn't. But I don't think that's something you can hold against anyone.  That's a massive potential commitment, and some people really wouldn't be able to make the kind of commitment.

Anonymous · Answer

No, would a person with a disability date a person with a disability?

soleil2666 · Answer

Yes, the recessive blue eyes gene. It's a disability, we must protect us

Anonymous · Answer

it depends. I would date a girl if it was just physical and she still had some quality of life. I would steer clear of mental disabilities

james1269 · Answer

Yes it don't matter what they are or what they have they still are loved

DepressedPsycho · Answer

Yes, if attractive enough in finance, mentality, intellect, or creativity. There has to be compensation.

SamSlime · Answer

If it's a light disability like ADHD then yes but if they are missing 2 body parts or are mentally retarded than no

Guanfei · Answer

That would be hard. I had to take care a lot of my sister, who has a serious disability, and even if she's an extreme case, it's not really pleasant.

BoxySama · Answer

I bought too hard to make my disability go away, but I was foolish in fixing my body where are I really had to fix was my voice 🙄🙄🙄

potts · Answer

I would have not one bit of a problem with my dating someone who I have a love for! Love is true and it has no boundaries!

DiscomfortZone · Answer

Define "disability". Physical? Intellectual? Mental?

coolcryptomaniac · Answer

Depends if , yes but I will not date because of any sympathy only if we click like any normal person.

Lunatic1 · Answer

It depends on the disability, but more than likely yes.

openminded60 · Answer

No. Just don't. Don't even start.  But that's just me

Agape93 · Answer

Depends on the disability

MrBurke · Answer

I mean supposedly I'm autistic so yeah I'd date someone else with a disability

faithdaddy12 · Answer

No i been dealing with shit my self I dont have the energy to take on someone else's baggage

Anonymous · Answer

Depends on the severity of the disability, I suppose.

Anonymous · Answer

I would end their suffering. Grenade down their throat while their sleep is most effective way in my opinion

Mad_man_x · Answer

I don't have the patience to handle normal people  You think I will date a disabled

xardas · Answer

What kind of disability to be precise?

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

It depends on the disability.

JackSmy · Answer

Differently Abeled, you mean?

QueenTanya · Answer

as long as it isn't a physical disability

LittleSquid · Answer

Yes I would but only if I am in love with him

elite665 · Answer

Yea if I was attracted

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