Girls, Why do you gals get offended if guys approaches you even if it's in a genuine way?

[Anonymous]

I really don't get girls nowadays because they often think of me as a monster. They will say "what is your motive", "you only care when I post a picture of myself" or think I'm out to get them. Meanwhile, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't party and although I've had opportunities to have sex with different girls I never did, so yes, even though I am 31 I am still a virgin. Even the idea of maybe going to a strip club or whatever the case is may have crossed my mind but I never acted on it because I believe it is not right. Now, I feel awkward talking to girls not because I'm scared or shy it's because of the general response is rude, it's negative. I have worked for companies in the past with horrible managers where I would feel the same way that speaking to even a manager is off-putting because of their demeanour and energy. This post is not meant for girls to lash out at me and say "so we always have to be 'on' and positive around you guys".

I am not saying that, but if someone approaches you in a nice way don't just automatically assume a guy is out to get you in a sexual way right away because that is a form of stereotyping. Just like people stereotype in racial ways that Chinese people can't drive, Jews are cheap, Muslims are terrorists, Black people are thugs in gangs, Mexicans deal with drugs or other derogative hurtful comments. As a guy I get this idea there is some much bitter, angry, resentful sexist unwarranted behaviour. I can't speak on behalf of all guys but I know girls in their teens and 20s want to consider those years there "wild years" and those years might be very slutty. But I believe people can change and I don't want to classify every girl by her past and I would want girls to be the same way with guys. Girls/women, understand something, not all of us guys/men are after you for sex. Some of us genuinely do want to date you, go out with you, possibly get married one day where we can also hold down a career and pursue others.

Updates

+1 y

When I used race as an example I am not trying to pull a tactic here, I am just stating that people do use sexist behaviour towards guys and have this negative approach about them that's all it meant in case someone is misinformed.

[Sweetener_]

The women you encountered were probably modern feminists... Either way please don't drink, don't smoke, don't party or go to clubs keep doing what you were doing please. There are ladies out there looking for a man like you. Being 31 and a virgin is flipping beautiful! Nowadays men mess around and stick their phallus in anything that has a vagina, and end up getting girls pregnant and paying child support then they complain about their baby mama's. Please stay a virgin till you find the right woman. I don't know if you're a celibate but that's still great, virginity is precious and pure and the wait is also very worth it. Trust me it's the worth the wait, there's nothing more precious than you and your wife having your first times together. It's worth the wait please don't let dusty men drive you astray. You're a high value man remeber that.

[Asker]

But I don't get why girls assume something is wrong with me when I don't hit on them in a sleazy way yet when other guys act worse then me they follow guys back on social media n stuff. I know this one girl, i have talked to her for over a year and she still hasn't given me her # or followed me back on IG. She even said once "you seem like a sweet guy" and "you seem harmless" yet I don't get why someone like me is not in a relationship. Now, I admit I wasn't perfect in my 20s but who is? But the fact that I was looking for love, to be committed and not do stupid shit as mentioned - party, drink, drugs, etc. Should be a major PLUS for a girl even in her 20s, and its not like im some fat, unmotivated, ugly guy... Im in grad school, I stay in shape and yeah I think I am decent looking... I may not be 6ft6 (5'9 real height) but I don't want height to define me either even though I know women/girls prefer taller guys. At my age I do self-reflect and think "is it me?" am I the problem? Do girls view me as a liar? I really don't know. Because I know tons of guys who are married or have gfs and they really lack good character and it boggles my mind.

[Sweetener_]

I think girls expect guys to come at them in a certain way. It's like they're used to f boys, so when a mature man wants to get to know them they think he's trying to play or fool them. But please don't change or let a woman bring you down. Don't focus on relationships, I know it might get hard, seeing people in relationships, social media pressure and all, but it's not the end of the world. You'll eventually find the right woman at the right time. But for now focus on yourself. Don't let women or relationships be the reason of your sadness. Once you let go off something it'll start searching for you. Focus also on how to better yourself and your life.

[Asker]

But thats the thing if mature man or guy approaches them why do they think its an act but yet chase the fool who openly displays his donkey-esq behaviour? I think if a guy doesn't have a huge female following or have pictures on social media plastered of hitting on women or going to clubs to drink or party and etc. Should be able to think for herself and say "ok I see some real genuine behaviour with this guy". But I don't know maybe those girls want guys like, I think for me it's always been the wrong place at the wrong time. Because I know tons of girls who did show interest in me but they were on rocky terms with their ex bfs and eventually I admit I would search them up on Facebook and see that there married and think wow, not in a jealous way. I just mean that sometimes I think that could have been me. When you reach a certain eventually you want to buckle down but when I look at society it doesn't seem like people want to buckle down. I think it's an excuse if a woman or girl says "I want to be career driven I don't care about relationships". I'm sorry but a job is a job and money won't huge me. I would know I have 3 older sisters who are all married, and all work in the government who are 10 years older then me.

[Sweetener_]

It also depends on the type of women you approach... If you approach a party woman, a feminist or a stripper then that kind of reaction should be expected. If you approach a serious & mature woman then there's no much of a problem there. The goal is to date someone who's compatible with you, there are girls out there that don't smoke, curse, go to clubs etc there just very but very rare nowadays. But then again I honestly don't know why these women act like that. It's extremely foolish to chase a play boy instead of man who wants to take things seriously. Women nowadays are something else. But don't lose hope there's someone out there for you. It's okay if you don't have a partner at 31, you could even get a partner at 41 (Please God forbid) that would still be a boss move. Don't let society rush you with their time lines.

[Anonymous]

I sort of get what you mean. But personally, if a guy approaches me in public I leave ASAP because I’m scared of being raped

[Sweetener_]

It's sad that this is our reality... I understand you because I do the same most of the time

[Asker]

i didn't dislike your comment by the way, that was from another guy, I understand what you mean especially with the stories of abduction, sex slavery, rape, etc.

[Opinion Owner]

Okay :)