Why do I get so head over heels in love with my crushes then as soon as it shows promise and they like me back I lose interest?

[Anonymous]

Genuinely asking because this is getting so old. Recently developed a huge crush on a guy (like I’m talking months - found out everything about him, down to where he lived and drove by his house at night, imagined us living together and getting married, saw signs that made me feel like we were ‘destined to be‘ and suddenly... it’s actually going somewhere, we have a date this weekend, and now I don’t feel the crazy in love feeling anymore and its genuinely pissing me off. We’ve been Snapchatting here and there and they’ve been kinda awkward since we’re both basically strangers, so maybe that’s why it feels weird now? Or maybe I imagine things in my head too perfectly and then set reality to fail? Commitment issues? I really don’t know so I’d like ideas please. Thanks
oh, and how do I get that spark feeling back before my date because I genuinely think this guy is cool and smart and kind.

[ecfresh]

Because you have emotions for the ‘fantasy’ of who he is, not the real person. Just seeing someone and crushing on them is easy because we are not exposed to flaws and they can be perfect in our imaginations. Then the moment you actually meet them and hang out they don’t live up to that perfect person so you get bored and lose interest.


Stop crushing for months. Instead if they are attractive, walk up and say hi and meet them. Allow any crush or feelings to be based on the real person, not the fantasy in your head.

[ecfresh]

Don’t expect to get the spark back. That spark was for the fantasy. Instead just relax and have a fun date. Remember the guy wants you to feel safe and plans the date to show you he can take care of you, so live in the moment and worry about sparks and feelings after he says goodnight.

[Ripper_E]

A crush is not love
I've gotten many crushes and then lost interest.

[Asker]

What made you lose interest?

[Ripper_E]

They were just crushes. You can develop a crush just by looking at someone, doesn't mean you like them.

[sheikalana]

You only like the idea of chasing. Once you have what you want you lose interest. Means they were not meant to be.

[Shiome223]

Because you only have physical attraction towards them, probably

[asshole_]

Dating is a game. Once they show it back, they've lost the game. Women lose attraction to a guy, once they know a guy is attracted to them