I’m actually very proud of my brown eyes and I won’t exchange them for anything l else. However I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months, and he’s the one who asked me out.
But one day he told me that I would be 10x prettier if my eyes were blue like his, and that it would be better cause our kids would have blue eyes as well, that he always pictured himself with a blue eyed woman and that If i wasn’t so hot my brown eyes would have been a deal breaker.
I replied with «well your opinion is a deal breaker for me, ciao!», and I broke up, but now he’s been calling me constantly telling me that he’s sorry, and that he regret what he said, but I feel that I can’t be with someone, who doesn’t see me like his ideal woman. Is it harsh?
Is it harsh that I dumped my boyfriend because he doesn’t like my eye color?
well tbh the fact he was with you and didn't like your eye colour, one has to question why he chose you in the first place... maybe he was drawn to another aspect... maybe he ignore his usual attraction and saw something in your personality, a physical attribute, your humour, maybe even your behaviour so yeah some of the women i have dated over the years i didn't usually go for cos their eye colour or their looks but instead their personality as some of them had a beautiful heart and that highlighted their inner and outer beauty in my opinion but if he felt the need to bring it up now and say it like I dont like... instead of if asked about what drawn him to you.. if he responded with "i dont usually go for your eye colour but you stood out to me" that would have been better than "i dont like your eye colour" or whatever other part of your body
so depending on how he had said it depends on whether that would be a yes or no... either way it is your choice and maybe next time he would think better about wording what he would say...
Nah Screw him, people who judge people on eye color are way too picky. "Would be 10x prettier" & "If you weren't so hot" are extremely harsh from him by the way. You weren't too harsh, you responded adequately. His words were a huge turn off & he wasn't "hot" enough to make up for it.
8
1 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Lmaooo. It’s like a girl saying « I would love you better if your jawline was sharper, and you were 8 millimeters taller »
it was the right decision... the man your with should like you 100% no i like your legs but i don't like your eyes... then it opens up to others things he might not like about you... you could tell him his cock is too small and he'd die of a heart attack... so yes you made the right decision and if that's you in the picture you very pretty and he's a fool for being negative with you.
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2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
That’s not me but it’s Brigitte Bardot, a famous french actress! by the way if that’s you in your profil pic then your extremely stunning!!! Wow! I’m 19 but I wish I will look half as good as you, when I’ll be your age.
thank you... i know i'm almost 2x your age... i wear make up used to run but not since corona hit even though they say you can but without police around i think i'll skip it... i've seen pictures of bridget before but didn't pick up on it... thank you for calling me stunning it makes me feel good to be told that by a young girl like yourself... and you'll find someone 100% into i'm sure.
Girl, you did the right thing. You dodged a bullet. What's the point of being with somebody you don't like? I had guys try that on me saying I wasn't attractive to him a certain way. And yet about 1 or 2 wanted to know why I never paid attention or bothered giving them the attention of the day. The dude is a jerk! I attracted a guy like that, I'm glad I never bothered.
Tbh I wouldn't have an issue with someone preferring another eye colour. It is a bit disheartening, but its no reason to break up. The thing that would have been a deal breaker to me would have been if he said "You would be 10x prettier if your eyes were blue like mine", and that's exactly what he said to you.
If this was me in this situation after 2 months with this guy, I would be thinking about what else he would say to me in 5 years time. What else isn't up to his standards. A lot of people here and looking af this surface level, instead of seeing it for what he thinks is OK to say to you.
I kind of have the same problem. He’s told me before that if I would’ve had blue eyes he would’ve been intimidated of how gorgeous I am. He’s also said sort of jokingly that I have “basic” brown eyes. It’s difficult for me to get past because I don’t understand why someone would say stuff like this to the person they love. I know he loves me and he’s even said I’m the one. But at the same time I feel sad that he would call my eyes basic and that I would be much prettier if I had another eye color. I feel like my brown eyes are part of my package and makes me who I am :( We recently looked at this eye photography at the mall and he didn’t say anything about me or my eyes but I couldn’t help but feel ashamed that I have such “boring” eyes to photograph. I’m not even sure if he wants to do it with me or if he only wants a picture of his own eyes that are blue/green. It doesn’t help that he comments on whether an actor is hot or not and his crushes almost always has blue/grey eyes. I don’t know if I myself focus too much on this when it might not be an issue with him at all. It’s just an insecure feeling I’ve gotten after small comments from him from time to time.
That guy is a moron. He told the girl he's dating, in a roundabout way, she isn't as pretty as he'd like and she's not gonna produce pretty kids. Is it harsh you dumped him? No. It's harsh to tell someone you're dating they aren't pretty enough. You demonstrated you know your self-worth. You did the right thing.
The majority of the population has brown eyes so they're seen as "boring". I have brown eyes and I think they're nice. Sometimes, I think blue eyes are scary, like piercing into my soul lol. Brown eyes means that you're more open and approachable. I've seen this experiment, so brown eyes gives the illusion that your pupil is bigger, so you seem "nicer." Also you see that sparkle.
Jessica Alba
Britney Spears He's kind of dumb for "asking you out" and then saying how it bothers him, doesn't make any sense. But, if that's the only reason, that's kind of not good, like are there any other reasons? Like other factors? Then it could be justifiable.
No, it's not harsh. You definitely did the right thing. Everyone has preferences, there's no doubt about that and that's fine. It's the fact that he belittle you like that, saying you are still not that pretty, that he's lowering his standards just by being with you. That you should be grateful to him that he chose to be with you, as if that is some benevolent sacrifice. Imagine being with this guy, everytime he passed by a poster with a blue-eyed model, is he going to lament to the skies and question the universe why you are not born with blue eyes? Block him, delete his number. You deserve someone better than this clown.
Not remotely. I received that same comment once. A then girlfriend tells me how she loves my “blue eyes”. I then ask her, what is it is she likes about my blue eyes... she tells me how bright they are. Problem is, my eyes are a greenish brown hazel. I tell her to look at my eyes again and ask her what color she sees. She is surprised they are not blue then tells me how hot I would be with blue eyes.
If he likes blue eyed women so much, why dont he date them then instead of bothering you with bad comments on your eyes? That is stupid of him. And yeah you were a little bit harsh, but it was the right thing. If he only likes you because you are hot, then what if you gain weight or your appearance change, will he still like you? He is stupid!!
He is probably someone selfish. Even if both parents had blue eyes , it doesn't mean that the kids too will havw blue eyes. What if their grand parents doenst have blue eyes and the grandchildrean takes after the grandparents instead of the parents?
Yeah, if he has kids with someone else they might come out with one brown eye and one blue eye. Who knows. He's out of his mind. U get what u get and you don't get upset... Ummm we learned that in kindergarten
I don't think so. I think he's rude af telling you you would be way prettier with blue eyes. Keep that shit to yourself. It's only a matter of time before he says shit like, oh you'll be prettier with bigger boobs, or prettier with different hair. Sounds like a lame. Glad u nipped it in the bud before. because I promise you the "slight insults" only get worse. Also like what world is he in? Sorry but if he's Gunna insult you "under the table" u just don't deserve it. YOU JUDT DKNT DESERVE IT! Fucking world is this guy in.
Just because both your eyes were blue, it wouldn’t make blue eyed children, if your parents had brown eyes, there’s chance your kids could still get brown eyes. Anyway, you were right to dump him. Eye color is bullshit and really shouldn’t be a deal breaker. Brown eyes are gorgeous.
I feel like you made a good decision by breaking up with him. If you aren't planning on changing your eye color, then the color of them is a permanent thing. You probably would have started feeling uncomfortable that your eye color wasn't what he wanted.
That was a really dumb thing for him to say and he shouldn't have been comparing you to other women, but talking about something that you're "lacking" and saying that a blue-eyed woman is what he really wants. He really brought this breakup on himself and he should have known better than to say something like that to you.
I think he would not have asked you out if he didn't like your eyes. You need to ask yourself if you liked all the other things about you, how he treated you, if you were happy. "you're so hot, I never would have imagined myself with a girl with brown eyes" seems a great compliment and yes he was unnecessarily stating his preference. You have right to be angry he tells you: you would look better with a different feature to what is natural and unchangeable (DNA is unchangeable)... Seems like not enough reason to break up but trust your gut or feelings.
No it's not harsh. That is only a precursor to toxic behavior in the future. You dodged a bullet. It may sound a little silly but criticizing your natural features like that and makeing you feel like you should be different is how my friend got her nose job and breast implants, to fit into the box of her toxic over controlling ex created for her. You should love yourself. That is hard for a lot of people to do so dont let anyone put a chip in that.
>But one day he told me that I would be 10x prettier if my eyes were blue like his, and that it would be better cause our kids would have blue eyes as well, that he always pictured himself with a blue eyed woman and that If i wasn’t so hot my brown eyes would have been a deal breaker.
I would never go back to that guy. if you were able to leave him now, don't look back because if you go back, and more feelings develop, it will only become harder to leave him later... one does not say that to a partner at all.. it is condescending and down putting. Find someone worth your time.
If he really liked you, stuff like that would've been left his mind the moment you got together. A mindset like that is childish. Some people may say it's not that serious but I feel you on the ideal part. Honestly, you can find someone else that loves your every physical piece. If what he said really hurt you that much, you can either talk to him about it and you both can let that weight off your chest. Or you can find someone to appreciate you wholeheartedly. Consider how deeply you feel for the guy, that should guide your decision.
Well judging from the question, hell yes and how shallow!! However once I read your description... I think you have made an ok choice... it depends on how the guy usually behaves, but how he has put you down and just lived in his fantasy world somehow sounds crazy and childish to me... nobody should make a choice of a partner simply on the wishful thought that the kids might have a certain trait lol!! Sounds kinda crazy to me 😕
Dumb of him to say that. A bit harsh yes but he needs more growing up it looks like. Probably you both do. Did he really say that? Whadda insensitive turd. I love brown eyes by the way. I find them to be very kind when they are coupled with a big smile! 👍
I don’t think that is petty at all. I also have brown eyes so if someone said that to me, I would do the same thing. That was so rude of him saying that and if he doesn’t like you for you with your flaws and all he isn’t worth having you or your time. You made the right decision.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
You were maybe a little harsh, but he should have worded that better. Now if he was asking you to get color contacts or whatever a few months into the relationship or mentioned stuff like that a lot then I would say dump him. It's possible that he didn't even realize what he was saying could be hurtful and was trying to spin it as a weird compliment. Then again, I obviously don't know what his tone was like or how he said it to make a true judgment. If you think you did the right thing and are content with your choice to break up then that's all that matters.
You are a complete and utter dumbass forgive my French if you go back to this man he is a shallow shallow can be if you go back to Someone Like This then you deserve the treatment that he will put on you down the road first of all you need to realize what he didn't say and did say.
Well, what he said was pretty silly, and kina insensitive.. But, y'all been datin for 2 months and it takes time to develop those type of feelins.. I get why you got upset at that.. I think y'all should have at least had a discussion about it, and if he stuck to the idiotic belief about his eyes then I could see lettin him go.. I just think it was hasty but at the same time i understand it..
I completely agree with you. Of course he thinks you are attractive, other wise he probably wouldn't be dating you. But making such comments about physical attributes is not acceptable. I am petite and if I guy I am dating with told me he would prefeer me being taller, that would make me feel terrible, even if I have no insecurity about my height in the first place.
As someone who got similar comments about my appearance from an ex boyfriend, I think you did the right thing. It might sound petty now but if you stayed with him then you would have suffered in the long run if he didn't change his attitude.
not harsh but a bit childish , you 18 now things are gonna start changing and you have to be prepared for it, acting like that is not gonna get you want you want in life. you have to have a cooler head n your shoulders. even if your 24 it still the same message.
Why would you want a partner that points out things that he doesn’t like about you? That’s not being childish. Your partner is supposed to make you feel good about yourself, not shame you for the colour of your freaking eyes.
@AmourHoney i like to have a blunt partner that will tell me both sides f the relationship love AND hate , just having it one way has yoou living with lies which can lead too other things. which would you really rather have? a guy who lies too you or a guy who can be honest so you will see him for who he is?
There’s a difference between being blunt and making someone feel bad for a physical feature they cannot change. If a guy is going to make me feel bad for something as simple as the colour of my eyes, then he’s an asshole and I don’t want him.
I hate those kinds of people xD they think humans are robots and they can just pick and choose parts, instead of accepting and loving the whole. You just dumped a shallow ass, good for you!
Lmao. Yeah i've always preferred girls with big tits would be great if you had them but oh well = to what he said What a fucking idiot. I love green eyes but why on earth would i say it like that. Also thinking of your babies to be perfect just cause they have an eye color is fucking dumb. Nevermind that's not how genes work his babies could come out not blue anyway.
Is the opposite, you are respecting yourself! Respect is something basic and elementary in a relationship. You deserve love, respect, and someone who sees beyond superficial things.
He sounds immature as fuck. It appears you have given the boy a lesson in life. Still you gotta wonder why he's so fixated on colors. Something tells me you should stay away. Really dark brown eyes and blonde hair is my favorite ;)
Wow, do such idiots still exist? You did well. Confused at all guys saying you are overacting. I guess they want girls to be prepared for receiving negative comments from them at anytime, and don't even show a reaction and stay oppressed. Yikes.
Way to go punish honest guys, no wonder all you will ever get is dishonest guys. So you don't match his perfect girl, wakeup it's unlikely that you ever will. So yes you where wrong dumping him for that, he wasn't shallow and just dating blue eyed women after all, so you had a chance and blew it because you didn't like his honesty.
No he states facts and preferences and that is neutral. He would have been shallow if he would have rejected her because of it. She is shallow because she reject him because she doesn't match his dreamgirl. We don't choose what we get attracted to. We are short minded if it let completely control our choices. She chose to be offended by the fact that she doesn't hit perfect score and take extreme action. She needs to take a step back and think about what message she is sending out by being so easily offended.
You make 0 sense. Preferences aren't neutral it is shallow, all human beings are shallow anw. She isn't shallow, she is insecure. She has the right to be insecure because the way he stated it makes her feel like she is not good enough. There is a way in stating it and the way he said it was stupid and offensive and childish even. He could have said regardless of my preference I am attracted to you. And not " I would be 10x prettier if my eyes were blue like his"
Preference are only shallow if they are hard requirements not if it's just what put value on the scale between drop dead gorgeous and horribly ugly. Her insecurities are her problem not his, so they don't justify her actions just explains them. So her actions are still wrong, if your insecurities is in the way of you having a honest relationship you need to work on them instead of lashing out and claim to be a victim. In this situation she overreacted and women like her is what causes dishonest men. If they can't say their honest opinion you will make them silent or dishonest.
And preferences are facts not something good or bad by nature. You can't claim that liking brunettes more then blonds is better then the reverse. At least not from a global perspective, from a personal it changes depending on where you end up and the number of potential matches, there is after all more natural brunettes then blonds, If no one had preferences, the world would be very systematic.
sure it's your prerogative, but you might want to hear him out and accept his apology. Guys often say stupid things and if you like him for more than his interest or disinterest in your eye color, you may want to reconsider the break up. seems a little extreme to break up over one stupid comment.
Ya could have responded I like your eyes as blue and mine as brown cause it makes us unique. Rather than break up. You could also point out having different eye colors could also mean your kid could potentially get Heterochromia. Which would look really cute.
But of course now ya kinda just gotta live with what you chose.
If he wants a woman with blue eyes, he can go find one, he doesn't have to make her feel shit about it. She wasn't the one complaining, he was, so why does she have to prove to him that she is pretty? please xD
@bakingperfectionist if you don't show that you love a guy he's just going to assume you're not worth any effort and I hate saying this but guys notice and take notes when girls say they have had 2+ guys and never made it work. Its like if you're that focused on just letting guys go why should I put effort into the relationship that will probably just end with you saying its not worth it to stay. FOREVER alone type of shit.
Sure walking away is always an option but at a certain point if you can't keep a guy period and you just keep walking out of relationships you're no better than the other extreme of MGTOW that guys do.
What in Gods name are you on about xD She deserves someone who thinks she looks good just the way she is. The world doesn't revolve around men and what they want. I would rather end up alone than with a shallow loser :) sorry if women having standards plays offends you
@bakingperfectionist Standards only go so far if you corner yourself in a situation where guys are going to assume you're just using them for the money and sex.
@bakingperfectionist My point is that her choice was EXTREME for what the situation was. Whether men or women like it rumors do spread. Especially when it comes to relationships what is done is done but. I wouldn't put it past the boyfriend if the game of telephone doesn't catch up to her.
mate did you read her question? He literally told her she would look better with other features. Thats disrespectful, shallow and rude. He deserved what he got. It wasn't extreme; his comment was telling of his shallow personality and therefore his morals didn't match hers. Just say you're also a shallow man and move on lol
@bakingperfectionist Takes two to tango if you want a relationship if all you do is run when things get tense you're never going to find a keeper or be a keeper. Is my argument.
@bakingperfectionist If you want to be known as a "runner" go ahead but its going to send the wrong message if your new other half ever finds out your relationship history.
If it takes 2 to tango, why isn't he playing his role and being respectful? it seems to me you just want the woman to take all the disrespect. You're clearly a moron so I will end this here. I would rather be alone than with a shallow asshole; welcome to the 21st century.
@bakingperfectionist Well communication and respect goes hand in hand and in ways if you're just running from explaining why something is wrong your just exasperating the problems women are going to have.
Sure cold hard logically yeah men can always numbers wise find another but. if women don't take the time to explain why something isn't correct men are just going to keep following their habit. Its like the problem with modern feminists and how they demand so much that men change but after bringing up issues. They never give a solution they want guys to even attempt to try. Instead its the constant buzz of men toxicity which then men just walk away.
If you want to make change ya gotta actually influence it.
No. I am not your mother to tell you what you should change. Women aren't put on this earth to raise you. You either know how to treat a woman or you end up alone. I can guarantee she will find someone else within a week and he will constantly be being broken up with for being an idiot. Don't worry about her :) pretty girls are never lonely. Shallow men always end up crying over the one that got away. Grow up or stay single. Women aren't raising grown men in 2020. Raise your damn selves.
First of all I dont see any women begging for guys on here xD second, they're asking where all the MEN are, not shallow little boys who don't know right from wrong and need their mommies to teach them basic respect. She will forget this douche existed within a week :)
He wants you back. Give him another chance. Yes, he said something stupid, but he's sorry. And the fact that he wants you back and he's pleading for forgiveness is proof that he really does like you. I mean, you can punish him a little, but I think you should give him another chance. He probably won't be saying anything stupid like that again.
You did the right thing. He’s trying to shove Eurocentric beauty standards onto you. I don’t understand men at all. He should just get with someone with blue eyes. Why did he waste your time in the first place?
5
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I dont think you did the wrong thing. If youd been dating for years and broke up over that, it would be a little much (although he'd deserve a slap) But he was honest, and clearly only regrets what he said because of the consequence. You can do better
He said a very ridiculous thing but you dumping him just for that sounds even more ridiculous to be honest. To be fair, a man who says such things unironically does not sound very mature but dumping someone over such a small thing does not sound very mature either.
I think if he acutally cared about your eye color he wouldn't have been with you in the first place. Guys say stupid shit like that all the time. It definitely is a bit harsh to break up with him cause of that
You don't have to love everything about your partner to want to be with them but after having black guys low key say that I'm pretty for a black girl and having a incel tell me they don't like nappy hair, I can't blame you.
That's so rude when they say that. Pretty for a black girl. Wtf does that even mean... My ex slapped this guy for saying that to me, and I'm high yellow so imagine , it's just a dumb thing to say.
I mean your reaction is a pretty strong one for his comment, which was also an insensitive comment. If he thinks you would be attractive for having blue eyes, that's his opinion, you could tell him he would be more attractive if he liked your brown eyes. :P
You guys need to grow up and be more patient with each other. Now if he's calling you, and you've determined that you don't want him, just tell him he could find a blue eyed girl.
No, because tomorrow if he sees a equally hot girl and she happens to have blue eyes he will end things with you in a heartbeat and pursue the other girl
If he constantly reminds you that he doesn't like your eyes then yiu shoudnt be with someone who makes you feel bad about your features. But if he said it a few times and is truly sorry then you should forgive him
Haven't read the full question, but did read the title. If a relationship brakes up because of eyecolor I don't thi k that the relationship was to strong to begin with
Still trolling I see, and over a pair of eyes. That has to be one of your dumbest troll yet. Maybe just wear a pair of colored contacts, problem solved.
that's very harsh reaction , cuz if that was someone who really you care about that will be okay if he critics you , u just find a reason to break up with him, poor guy , he just give you his point , he is not a dumb person he have taste , he don't say YES for all what you have and say, , that's weird , i mean a real couple it's not a perfect match between 2 perfect gender come on , may he don't like your eyes but he like you for WHAT YOU ARE , ,
Sounds like he just want your body to me, you have to be sure! It wasn’t harsh it will be stupid to take him back if he hasn’t learnt his lesson. Sounds like a boy who was carried away with ignorance, he might have mention kids but he may just want your body. So it’s up to you , you can take him back but don’t ever tolerate disrespect for any reason. “If you weren’t hot your eyes would be a deal breaker” It’s clear what that means so look within not outer
you say - you like your brown eyes and would not exchange them for anything else? you can't anyway for your eyeballs are the color that they are naturally unless you go for an eyeball transplant , duh
I wouldn't think so. Negative commentary in regards to physical attributes that cannot be changed is degrading and can be demoralizong if continuous. You're only keeping your own personal mentality safe in the long run.
It was harsh give him a chance. He has a unrealistic vision and correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think 2blue eyed parents will just make blued eyed kids.
Well, now you mention it... given eyes is something you look at a lot I'd say actually yes this one on a rare occasion is acceptable why if he doesn't like the fundamental aspect of love intimacy did he date you. So i'd say this one weird.
Ig, may he is just sharing his openien but yoi take it so seriously, well its great when we accept someone as it is, as no one is perfect right. But i think you do little bit harsh to him caz may be caz of this you lost a good guy.
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