Who does a guy love more: a woman he lies to, or a woman he tells the truth to?

Question

Lliam · Accepted Answer

Relationships are built on trust. So a guy who loves a woman won't lie to her.
That being said, he may avoid saying things that will hurt her or damage her self esteem. I thought of an example a while back. What if the two of you went to a karaoke party. Later, she asked him if she was a good singer. She actually wasn't very good. But it would be mean to tell her that. How would it benefit anyone? Besides, how many people are actually good singers? So he could sort of dodge the question by picking out some part of her singing that was good and say something truthful like. "I really enjoy listening to you sing. Your voice is so clear."
If she pressed the issue, I would never say she was a lousy singer, but I would give some pointers on what she did wrong and how she could improve.

It's usually possible to be honest without being "brutally" honest and hurtful.

But that was an example of something trivial. On issues that are important to a healthy relationship, it's always wrong to lie when the lie is about something that would effect your partner. Again, lies destroy trust and you can't have a healthy relationship without complete trust in one another.

At the same time, just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that your entire life has to be an open book. For example, if my partner asked how many other women I had ever slept with, I would say it's none of her business. Why would she want to know that? If she wanted access to my passwords, I would take that as a sign of distrust, possessiveness and insecurity.

I have disclosed all kinds of things to my wife over the years. They are not the result of interrogation, they just come up. Like something will remind me of something in my life and I will share it as an anecdote that I might not share with anyone but her.

Browneye57 · Accepted Answer

You need to understand the basic differences in brain function between men and women. A woman's brain runs on feelings and emotion. A man's runs on facts and logic. Sure, there's some fuzzy edges there, but for the most part, this the very basic difference.
So, 'truth' to a woman relies heavily on her current feelings, which are subject to change at any given moment. So when they change their mind, any hypocrisy is easily explained away by a simple 'change of heart' so to speak.
A man relies on facts and logic to back up his statements, comments, opinions. If the underlying facts change he's subject to change. This isn't an emotional reaction to the truth.
So in a round about way, unless the guy is a pathological liar, he tends to be quite transparent, open, and 'truthful'. This surely doesn't mean he verbalizes every little thought that pops into his brain like a woman does. Women tend to way over-share. And hence all that chatty-cathy they are guilty of that is really prime material for her girlfriends, not her man.
Either way, whatever he says, has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with how much he loves his woman. He may not disclose things to protect her, he may even stretch the truth for same, but a guy that consistently lies to his woman may genuinely love her, he's just a pathological liar.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

It's a good question

A guy I used to be in a relationship with gradually let me know about the lifestyle he lived. He was a drug dealer and took drugs himself. He said his ex never knew about any of it. He lied to her so she wouldn't find out. He never introduced her into his other world. At first , I thought it was because he trusted me more than he did her. But then a friend pointed out its because he loved her more than he did me. She said he lied to her because he respected her too much to be brought into his other way of life. He thought she was too good for it. He didn't mind introducing me to his drug dealer friends or taking me to houses that had been raided by the cops, on a number of occasions. Looking back, I'm sure my friend was correct.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

The woman he tells the truth to... Telling the truth even when hard, shows you respect that person as well as love them as honesty and respect are very important in a relationship...
Telling a lie is usually a sign they are thinking of how your reaction to the truth will affect them more than to spare someone's feelings, cuz what they think the truth will hurt more than finding out they been lying to you? As much as the truth may hurt sometimes finding out someone you trusted was lying to you will hurt far more than ANY truth...

Who does a guy love more: a woman he lies to, or a woman he tells the truth to?

MrOracle · Answer

The latter in my opinion.

People start telling lies because their partner's don't like hearing the hard truths, but in my opinion this is poison that will eventually kill a relationship. I don't do that. And I make it clear that my girl shouldn't expect me to lie to her to save her feelings. I will do my very best not to be mean or cruel - and you can certainly tell a hard truth without being mean or cruel about it - but the truth is more important, because you can DEAL with the truth and, if necessary or desired, make changes. You can't make any good decisions from a lie.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I don't know because I don't tell lies in relationships. I have learned that lesson many decades ago!

1Sophisticatedme · Answer

The woman he lies too... only a real man has the balls to be honest and say the truth to the woman he truly love, but its rare now a days.

Jjpayne · Answer

That's a tough question but the answer is a man should never lie.

Now let's be very specific here. A girl spends all day picking out a dress, all her girlfriends approve it and I bring over one of her girlfriends and say does it look a a little awkward in the back and she goes don't tell her, we can tell as women so just say it looks great.

That's a lie and even further... Surprises... Being slightly late... Lying does happen

But the lying that matters, no, a man should never lie like that to a woman. So the only answer for me is truth.

Truth is being fully open and honest with your partner and those words feel like a breath of fresh air.

That is what every relationship should aim for.

Openness and honesty, sharing with your partner

triff · Answer

Guys who disrespect their woman great her like a domestic engineer Not taken out or made to feel special Probably cheat love the girls who are nieve and gullible and easy to lie too

The guys who are domesticated Love and respect their women Give little treats like Days out sometimes nights Gives flowers not because of. any wrong doing but because they love Special gifts Always remember her Birthday Anniversaries and others is the guy who hates lying and prefers to tell her the truth Good or bad

Maxamillion61 · Answer

If a guy puts his dog and his girlfriend or wife in the car trunk & leaves them there 1/2 a day or more, then comes back & opens the trunk; who be more happy to see him? His girlfriend/or wife or the dog. Who will GREET him first?
If a man wants the woman'st best interest and wants them to stick around he will lie to neither. Knowing that lying is a deciever, and hurts everyone in the end including himself. Would you purposely take a hammer to the windows or hood of your car you love so much? Or tell your girlfriend: "Putting sugar in your gas tank will make it sound sweeter running" (OMG, crossing my eyes & rolling them in the back of my head hear)

coolhandroo · Answer

Here's the deal. The amount of honesty you can expect depends a great deal on how you have handled hearing hard facts in the past. That combined with how badly he wants peace in the moment will give you an estinate on the level of honesty u can expect. Remember the line "you can't handle the truth?" If that's true of you then don't expect much unpleasant truth. It's what the truth is that shows how much he cares. Example: if he tells you whether or not he slept with someone else or finds someone else attractive depends on how he thinks you will take hearing it but whether or not he cheats tells how much he cares regardless of what he tells you

Mollynotgemma · Answer

Who says that the lies and truths he tells to them are so?
I believe the woman he lies too is the one he loves. The woman he is appearing to be truthful too is a lie. Strange as it may seem. But he has confidence around the girl he doesn’t care losing. Such a shame he can’t be like that with the girl he lies too!
I’m the same?

centerline · Answer

he can love either...
the one he lies to probably tries to control him, his actions or thoughts a little bit, or doesn't like what he's doing so he feels he has to lie to keep her from doing any of those things... ultimately she is causing him more stress.
whereas the one he never lies to is not trying to control him in any way and so is not causing him stress... so he has no reason to lie to hide anything, and maybe doesn't even care what she thinks anyway...

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

Depends on the guy I would suppose. I try to tell the truth because lies generally fuck everything up in the long run, but not every one is like me. Some guys may lie to impress her because he likes her, he may lie to her to hide his true motives, its entirely up to the man and the circumstances that determine the motive.

hahahmm · Answer

the only times I have lied was because I was afraid of what she would do/think if I told the truth BUT the more confident I became in life the less I worried so I don’t bs. And if I think something is none of your business I say so.

So from my POV it has nothing to do with love - not that I like that term since it’s confused/abused/twisted by women all the time to the point where it’s meaningless.

Reaperbot666 · Answer

typically the one he tells the truth to more. however sometimes a partner will ask him questions. that he is almost force to lie to them about. because he knows the answer will hurt their feelings and emotional state. so if you don't want a guy to lie to you. best to avoid asking him loaded questions. which could pretty much force him to lie. because even if his partner says they want the truth. they most likely can't handle the truth emotionally.

wkozak · Answer

It depends on many things, maybe he is lying to her to protect her from the truth and he doesn't want to lose her, maybe he tells her the truth because he believes that she will understand the situation as he saw it, it's depending on how she will react when she know the truth.

bluetoblack99 · Answer

Good question. I notice women who friendzone guys are more likely bring up issues about themselves that they know would turn off most guys. Since she doesn’t give a shit about him she feels comfortable disclosing this versus a girl who really likes a guy. She will try to show herself in the best possible light.

But once you are in a relationship this changes. Your not going to lie if you truly respect her or him. But you shouldn’t volunteer unnecessary information either.

abby17dmv · Answer

A guy loves whatever woman and I think the guy would love the woman he lies or to the truth anyway but I think that a guy should not lie to a woman because that would not let a woman trust a guy.

FeministHater_ · Answer

a woman he lies to in my case
i lie when i want go out and cheat
i lie when she ask me if she looks good on certain cloths or if she looks fat cuz clearly if we we tell women " yeah u dont look good at this and ye u need to lose weight" y'all be crying and saying its rude u shouldn't have said it.

Lynx122 · Answer

Depends on the situation. Most people appreciate a little restrain with the truth when it comes to things their insecure about for instance. But if it's something important to the relationship then the truth should be told.

Unstoppable20 · Answer

Honesty is the best policy. I need to be honest with a woman about my visual impairment as it is a huge barrier for dating. Most women tuck tail and run once they find out that i can't drive because of it. There have been two women who have stuck around despite me telling them that and I loved them. So for me, I definitely love a woman im honest with becuase it means she actually stuck around long enough to get to know more for who I really am.

VIVANT · Answer

If you can’t love without lying, you are with the wrong person; Or you are the wrong person. having said that, most people lie.

Keyboardkat · Answer

A woman he tells the truth to. I can't imagine lying to someone I love! If I can't trust her enough to be truly open with her, then it's not a love relationship.

Lionman95 · Answer

I'd say a woman he tells the truth because it shows that he sees in her a trust worthy person. For guys trust and love could have a synonymic meaning. Love is trust, if I love you I trust you.

invalid1 · Answer

OK telling lies or truth is not measure of love for my opinion. There is a lot of context we can bypass but I think the woman I am not afraid of and is home to my heart there is no truth I can fear she knows.

Ericalovescats · Answer

If he's tells the truth to you that's usually the one who loves you.  The only exception is if you're overweight and the guy lies to you and says you're not.

blackgaletiger · Answer

A woman he can call his own. Because Lies or truth it's the one the sticks through the tough times and the good that earns the heart

pinkfluffyunicorn13 · Answer

Id rather tell my lover the truth. If she can't handle it, she not the one for you. Lies can hurt if they get out, not jist your partner but you as well. As you could loose your lover.

rgw235 · Answer

If he lies to her I highly doubt that he truly loves her. Personally, if I'm going to lie to her then I probably don't have any respect for her. I have always been honest, it has made for a better relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

If he is lying to the girl he clearly doesn’t love her or respect her

Elsa143 · Answer

The woman he tells the truth to. Anyone who lies to you only cares about themselves and don't respect you.

Hepy82 · Answer

Obviously the one he tells the truth too, it's called respect. If he lies, he clearly has no respect and certainly does not love you.

Snowman666 · Answer

A women he lies too. Honestly. But if he truly loves you he won't have anything to lie about. But i hve lied to my wife to tell her i trust her, even when i don't. Because i know i love her and always will.

Bang5luts · Answer

Do you mean "The woman he lies to" (His wife)  Or "The woman he tells the truth to" (his mistress)?

normalice · Answer

This is a personality trait that has little to do with love.

jgokgotit · Answer

The one he tells the truth to. It means we trust her and trust is huge in love.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I can only speak for myself and on that note the one I tell the truth to.

JosyJosy · Answer

Probably the one he tells everything to, means he respects her more, trusts her

guitarnovice · Answer

Obviously truth. Please tell me you're only asking this question to prove a point to a guy who is trying to cover his ass with another lie.

JimboGB · Answer

One of the main attributes of a wife is someone to speak the truth too and someone to speak the truth to you.

Dchrls78104 · Answer

When you love someone, you don't hurt the person. One way to hurt someone is to lie to that person.

TallAnon · Answer

There really isn't a clear cut answer to that question, every person is different and so the relationship between that person and others are as well.

lucas262 · Answer

Lying is never a good idea. The man's whos honest loves her more

rico701 · Answer

The he tells the truth to... were all liars... but if we love her

dutch69lover · Answer

In my case its the women I love... My situation is unique and I can tell them anything lol

jmstarling · Answer

If a guy lies to a woman a lot, it's most likely either lust or he has serious problems with honesty in general.

Nigjt · Answer

I'd have to say the one he doesn't lie to. God Bless

LEADFOOTboi · Answer

i'd imagine the one he tells the truth to... like my momma

pizzalovershouse · Answer

One he tells truth to except ge stretched the truth

DCSTVT · Answer

I can't speak for everyone but personally I prefer people who are honest.

ProfessionalMusician · Answer

A woman who he tells the truth to, no relationship could not be based on lies

andy530 · Answer

Hmm I would say it doesn’t say much about who he loves more but who he’s more fearful of loosing

knight2468 · Answer

I can take the truth even if the truth is mean and rude so no need to lie to me

mrgspoter · Answer

Well they probably don't care much for anything that don't affect themselves

JoyGirl · Answer

The woman he tells the truth to.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

either way it doesn't work if she's a liar too

slatyb · Answer

People mostly lie or tell the truth to everyone.

Warmapplecrumble · Answer

Depends on what's the truth and what's the lie

British_Empire_1707 · Answer

Loves not the issue but liars always lie

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

The Woman he tells the truth to

DavidFox · Answer

This question has been asked before

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

For me, a woman he tells the truth too.

AmeerX · Answer

Women he is truthful with

Who does a guy love more: a woman he lies to, or a woman he tells the truth to?

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