The reason why I don't have girlfriends it's because I don't drive all and I also experience what it's call fears of rejections with consequences. I made a move on someone else recently and it lead to lots and lots of consequences. Now each time I tried made a move on someone now I get really bad anxieties and I been rejecting both attractive and unattractive woman with kindness. I told them that I'm flattered but I don't drive... and I'm unable to date with my current circumstance, I'm sorry 😕. I also had troubles with woman keeping them interested with me then just ending up stabbing me on the back then run off to someone else 🙄.
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+1 y
Thank you for all the comments. Apparently it's not very easy for me to find someone where I live.
Why is it so hard to get boyfriends / girlfriends nowadays?
It's not hard at all... there are so many women out there who are out looking for someone to be with. However, you are the one turning them down with "I don't drive..." I mean damn are you so insecure in your own masculinity that If she drove it would make you feel less of a man. Hell, consider it as her chauffeuring you around if that eases your mind. What will help you feel like more of a man is being with a woman, she can give you more of the self-confidence and self-esteem that you really need... if you let her. You can be sure that she will make sure you learn to drive and make you get your own damn car. I'm telling you dude... Women can be the best inspiration and motivation for a man to get his act together, start thinking about the future and working on being the best that he can be. All because of the love for a woman you want to make happy and share your lives with each other. It's a really nice place to be and you can't get there by being complacent.
That's my common rejections I get from woman all the time because they want there handsome man who has a drivers license and a car. I was also told from people since I don't drive that I was undateable or unable to date anyone. Plus I been hurt too many times and the last girl back stabbed me on the back pretty badly so I quit dating and looking.
Many ugly guys are dating hot chicks. Women are actually pretty terrible at picking so you can actually be pretty crap and still get a women. It's not you. Problem is that you've been put down a lot by women and you believe them when they put you down. If they say no, you believe they couldnt actually like you.. See women will put you down as a test to see if you really think you can have them (confidence). It's not nice I know. You have to look at everything they are saying and ask yourself if you were in their shoes, does this look like how a man with choice would respond? It's a stupid game women play to find a suitor which is a primitive emotion. You know what makes a women angry the most? When a guy who actually has nothing going for himself (and believe me, you'd have more than other guys I've seen) tells the women why she should be his girlfriend. Guess what, she ends up dating him lol.
I've seen you on here for a while. No doubt it my mind, if you made a few adjustments, you'd get more girls than you could handle. Reality is, if you want different results, you need to do different things. No matter what we talk about in life.
That's true but I had quite a bit of girls who reject me because I didn't drive or had a driver's license. I also had people told me I'm undateable because I don't drive. Both my mom and grandmother didn't drive but my dad and Grandpa was fine.
Okay that's fair. There's nothing stopping you from getting a driver's license though. Unless there's a specific reason you haven't disclosed. keep in mind in the dating game everyone is going to reject you except for one and that's all it takes. totally respect the fact that your elders didn't drive and they made out just fine but the world is a different place now. They didn't go online either. And this other person replying to your original question about how you don't have looks is complete bullshit. You could probably have her in a heartbeat and she knows it. The fact of the matter is things like that scare the hell out of her. Trust me on this you've got what it takes.
I feel your pain. It can be tough but it's correctable.
For me it's finding someone who knows what they want and can be open about it. They can allow themselves to let me in just a little at a time to see if they can trust me and find out what I'm about.
But, in reading your story I think you are looking at things in an either/or condition. Either you can get her, or you can't. That's causing anxiety and fear.
Try just having a conversation and getting to know her first. Okay, she's willing to talk, cool. Hmm, she's not, no big deal. See how it's a bit easier when the view changes? It's the exact same circumstance, but just looking at it differently. She's willing to talk to me, she's not.
When you get to know them a little, and they get to know you, then you can ask them out. Your chances of a yes go up if they know you a little first. If they say no, it's no big deal if you don't take personally. There could be many factors aside from you, as to why she said no. Just go with it, "okay, but I like talking to you. Is it okay if we still talk?" You may surprised at how many women will say to this if you don't try pushing them into a relationship. Those women who said no could become your personal advisors to help you find someone you would be happy with.
There is an old allegory about a baby elephant that is tied to a fence post. As the baby elephant tugs and pulls, it fails to break the fence or break the rope. Eventually, it gives up and makes peace with its fate. The baby elephant is stuck. Eventually, the elephant grows up and becomes a big, adult elephant with gargantuan legs and a huge tusk and swirly trunk and it could easily walk away from the fence if it wanted to. But believing the fence to be some immovable thing, the adult elephant remains tied to it, falsely believing it can never free itself.
The key is to discover what is limiting you and practice to get better. Perhaps asked out girls at the wrong time, Used the same old line they have heard a thousand times, came across as needy or clingy, cared to much if they said No, or even failed to groom or dress well. There are TONS of videos, websites, and books to help you identify and get past them.
These days, people are barbombed with work and responsibilities and the need to stay busy. They don't focus on what they need, love.
Also, after a certain part of life, many have scars, fears, unstarted passions, bad memories of social interactions. Add to this a toxic society of ads, over the visualization of fantasies, stress, a status quo of bad viewpoints on what you should be should look like, should desire, etc.
In addition to this, the chance of offending someone has drastically gone up. Not because it has been acceptable for people to be themselves, but since the byproduct is that they are less willing to be tolerant of others ignorance. This last point may need more thought though.
Anyway, a good analogy for relationship is the growth of a tree. Why doesn’t my mint grow in my room? It's often the conditions, the properties of the seed and its needs, and the process of life that determine if it will grow continuously or even at all.
In relationships, be willing to pause and think about the other person. If two people are open to being in a relationship, then that's a good start. However, you will find people that are open and those that are either closed or not ready. When you take into account, life experience, it can be daunting how to express oneself in a relationship without being judged, but that's also a clear sign that that person may not be for you. Well. hope that helped, good night 🌃
You're right, its hard to get into a relationship these days. Covid doesn't make it easy, and online dating and technology has made it so much harder since people can't really see your personality and judge based off of pictures and profile description.
How come you don't have car? it's unfortunately going to be a big deal breaker for many women, unless you live in a city where its common for people no to drive.
I agree that rejection sucks, and I know how you feel with the anxiety. But its just something we have to get over with. And it applies to all aspects of life. It can take many interviews to get that dream job. What you need, is to learn from your mistakes (what can you improve on?),, and have confidence and believe in yourself and everything you do, and keep trying. Never give up.
That's why I keep telling people. I can't date anyone because I don't drive at all that's why I been rejecting women. I stopped dating after the last girl back stabbed me or she ran off to somebody who wife her up! That's why I quit dating. I wish people would understand how the women in my state likes their men because they prefer men outside of their race because Interracial Relationships is a big thing to them now and its getting more and more bigger now and also makes more and more women don't want to date us anymore because race and size matter to them.
Metoo/feminist movement. Isn't it funny, the one thing which changes a friend into a girlfriend status is a kiss, yet metoo stops men from lifting the relationship up into that status because it labels all men as pigs.
The guys are too afraid to go in for that kiss without being accused of sexual harassment.
When I'm in Asia for example, if I like a girl, I just tell her. If we are dating and I like her, I just kiss her and she is ok with it. That's why it works there - I can just be myself without worrying.
Okay I'm gonna be blunt with you here, your a attractive guy but women love men that take good care of their health, that are confident but not cocky either. Please don't take this the wrong way but I think if you looked after your body better and looked after yourself more then Women would then find you very attractive.
Also if you have any goals you would like to reach then do those goals that you want to achieve and stay consistent. Women love men that are driven and keep pushing themselves to grow and try to achieve their goals
Guess who I am... "I'm gonna be blunt. Girls don't like guys who don't take care of themselves. But I date a fat fuck. I have triggers. But everybody else is an asshole. I can dish it out, but can't take it."
Blah blah blah. Weak ass responses. That's what makes GAG fun. Little wannabe psychologists like you on here dishing out bullshit, get called out on it, get triggered and rage away. It's like fucking fishing with dynamite.
You're a shallow, hypocritical little hussy. Have seen your kind for years. You just can't defend yourself well because you're not used to be called out.
I'm not insecure. I'm perfectly content. But as predicted, you've moved into ageism because of your lack of defending yourself and insecurity, but still wanna be "blunt" and give advice that you don't follow.
I told you, boo. It's like fishing with dynamite with you. You have more triggers than a terrorist cell setting IEDs.
You seriously have to work on your defense, boo. You set yourself up like a target. I'm trying to help you here. Call it tough love. But you're too wrapped up to see your own faults.
In the matter of fact! I don't have a temper only when people think it's okay to call people what they like specially when they don't even know them, Now look I was just trying to help this man out and help him grow more as a person so if you thought that was shallow then I'm afraid there is something seriously wrong with you and you are the one that needs professional help badly!
I said I would be blunt and I was I said he was attactive looking but told him what could help him out more
Look I'm gonna be real here, No I'm not perfect, I'm far from it, I do have insecurities yes, am I a shallow person? The answer is no I'm not, Looks don't really matter that much to me, mainly a good personality does.
Now when it comes to myself yes because I compare myself a lot to other women because I have had men that thought I was ugly and wouldn't date me because of it and cheated on etc anyway nobody cares!
The point is that I do what I can to help others grow to become better versions of themselves.
I genuinely care a lot about others and the last thing I want to do is hurt another person.
Yes I can be offensive sometimes I admit but my shoes do have a history so those that understand me more know why I'm like that
For me it's just cause I can't seem to might the right person for me. I want someone with similar values, goals and interests. I think I haven't met enough people but then again, it only takes that one special person...
I did found someone with the same values, goals and interests as me but she was pulling red flags. But later on did found someone else then she'll only dates all guys but not her race then after a while it becomes a pattern with different excuses then I stopped...
Ever since social media took off with Facebook and Instagram Snapchat etc people don’t value each other anymore , people have higher expectations on who they fall for , if you don’t meet those expectations you are doomed because their are so many to choose from nowadays , relationships nowadays don’t really last because people easily get bored and go to someone else , when things do t go their way , why their is so many friends with benefits and hook ups because people nowadays want variety so if you don’t fit on the scale of having a high status job or have a toned body good luck trying to get laid
Its awful until you feel better about yourself... project confidence and dont care... so much about their response. Make friends and be looked up to by some sround you... then you'll be able to pick from a bunch.
Soinds like u meet tjem but not girlfriend. If yoi dint drive... learn to drive... improve yourself so i have lots to offer.
i did shrooms with a girl id been on 3 dates with. we were deeply honest about everything and loosing your sense of self and having interconnectedness makes a huge romantic vibe. People nowadays drink and smoke weed too much and it makes them narowminded and live for themselves. try doing shrooms on a date.
If you ignore the labels and stop trying to figure out what's expected of you, and just be open and honest. You meet someone, find them interesting, and decide you'd like to spend more time with them and get to know them better. It's ok to just tell them that. The absolute worst thing you can do is go shopping for a girlfriend or boyfriend. Just look for people you find interesting. You'll end up finding acquaintances, friends, good friends, and even significant others that way.
nowadays people are too superficial, it goes for all genders, no one cares if you are a good person and set up stupid standards, and people are more insecure because of that and stop trying (they end up hating the opposite gender)
Because people don't differentiate between marriage responsibilities and relationship responsibilities. When your in a "relationship" you are still an individual, you are still obligated to serve yourself, and you are building the grounds to evolve that into marriage. People neglect the careful process of building a relationship THEN taking the steps to solidify a foundation. Most would rather have a foundation they can pack up and run away with when things get rainy.
Well finding a boyfriend or girlfriend is easy. But finding someone you like or love is hard (in my case). I don't want to date someone I don't like or attracted with. I want it to be mutual. If not then I am just wasting time and money.
Women don't need a man because society has them becoming the new men.
What do men have to offer to men? What can a man offer to another man that a man can't provide for himself? We're all going to be the men now, if a man is a woman, that's just his problem.
Women are already starting to figure out that this isn't as great as it sounded in the brochure.
I just haven't found anyone and i got tired of looking for a bit, decided to play some more video games and chill. take a look at myself for a bit then get back in the game some time later
I don't know if someone relates to this, but for me, I won't settle for less than I deserve, if a woman can't bring to the table as much as I do, I won't waste my time dating her because I've tried that for years and the relationships were either abusive, dry, lackluster, or had no future, they've wasted so much of my time and I'd rather stay alone than be in such toxic environments
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
Women getting men is easy. They just only want the top 5%
Men have it much much harder... even though they are much less picky.
Average men (5/6) will date women who are ugly/obese.
True and not true. It's actually social dominance. Women select you by your ability to be able to choose them. If you have lots of women all around you, that means you have choice in your women and more women naturally become attracted to you.
It's not all about being rich or anything, it's about your situation in them feeling like you had the option to choose or reject the ladies.
They will date a guy who is a cheater because if he becomes a good guy, he must really like the girl mentality.
It's very much not about your own worth and more about them filling in their insecurities. They care more about what you think of them, then they care about you. They just date the popular guy to show to all their girly friends and feel good about themselves.
Well.. pre-covid it really wasn't hard at all. Finding a date was extremely easy... a lot of people say cold approaching is difficult and shouldn't be done but thats how I got most of my dates as an adult after my partying phase went away. During these Covid times, I haven't dated at all... I'm not even going to bother...
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