Why is it so hard to get a boyfriend?

Question

i know this is hard to understand this without knowing who i am and what i look like but this has been going on for years. I easily attract guys but have a hard time keeping them. Nearly every guy I've experience with has ghosted me. They very seem into me then the next day or two they disappear. I had this happened with one guy who seemed into me (only knew him for two days) then ghosted me and years later i seen him twice shopping with a girl. I'm over the guy cause i only knew him for two days but seeing them together shopping like that made me jealous. Most of the guys who stay are always after sex. So far I've been with one guy for 10 months and the reason why that is is because we are having sex. He only wants me for sex and im probably only one giving it to him. We never do anything couple like but we act like a couple.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

This is a more complex question than it seems, with complex answers.

1. Guys your age typically aren't ready for anything serious, including being boyfriend/girlfriend. And the more attractive/popular/high-value the guy is, the LESS likely he is to want anything serious. Remember that - it's important. You're more likely to get a commitment from a man who is at least 5 years older than you, who is both more mature and in a better financial position to take on a relationship (hint: relationships are expensive for men, financially).

2. You've established that you can provide a man with sex, and, yes, of course, men want sex. But most men won't really invest in a relationship JUST for sex - they need more. Plenty of guys will string you along, and make a low effort to keep getting sex, but they won't make any real commitment.

3. Aside from sex, do you know what men want and value in a woman? Most women don't - Feminism has taught women to become the men that the women wish they could be with - to get advanced educations and good careers. Do men care about women's education and career? NO! A high-value man is more than happy to wife up the check-out girl at the grocery store or the Starbucks barista - who may be making minimum wage and never spent a day in college. Why? Because men value very different things in a woman than women value in a man - even though you've intentionally been taught differently. If you want to be able to HANG ON to a man, you have to provide VALUE to him, just as you expect him to provide value to you. You wouldn't get into a relationship with a bum who had no job, no home, and no motivation to improve, and no one would blame you. But men won't want to commit to a girl who brings nothing to the relationship besides sex. Every woman has a pussy, so if that's all you can bring to the relationship that he cares about, then any other woman can replace you.

It's not your fault that you've been taught a lot of the wrong things - all of us were taught the wrong things, INTENTIONALLY. But once you get out in the real world, if you aren't following the ACTUAL rules of the world, you're not going to have desirable outcomes. The world won't entertain our delusions for very long (longer for women than for men, for sure, but still, not very long). At some point, you need to forget what you've been taught and learn how the REAL world works. Once you learn that, and adjust to it, your outcomes will improve dramatically.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/OLCHIveEkX8

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Okay I would have to know you really well to answer this question to be honest with you but the words that I read coming from you tell me a little bit about what's going on

And I just started a half of a long page telling you where I think you're going wrong but I had to erase it all and come back to write this I don't want to feed you false information without knowing you I can tell you this much though with everything that I just read coming from you you are a good person you are a sweet person you are a person that guys should fall in love with very easily but there's something that you must be doing it makes them scared and want to run are you having sex with them or are you not if you're not and if they are trying and you say no and they ghost you that's when you're supposed to be happy not sad because right then and there they're showing you who they truly are and you don't want to be with a person like that anyway you would have to DM me and let me speak to you a little bit to get a good answer for me to understand you a little bit more but I think it's right in front of your face on what's going on what's Happening but for me I would need to know a little bit more sometimes something you might think is bad is really good you just don't know it because of the way you're looking at it like I said I would have to ask you about five or six questions and with those answers that would tell me everything and then I could help you out

Biancam13 · Accepted Answer

When do you sleep with these guys? No judgement, just want to know so I can get a feel for this situation.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Sounds like something you are doing is repelling good guys and attracting losers.

tzdc21 · Answer

Well how are you treating those guys? If you're treating them like crap then it's understandable why they ghost you.

Let me tell you a secret to why guys ghost a lot of times. A lot of times it's because you did not provide enough value to that guy's life for him to consider keeping you around. Which a lot of girls do unfortunately. They show up, do nothing except give him sex, and then they wonder why he ghosted them afterwards. You have to add value to his life outside of sex. If there's something he likes to do or something he needs help with in his life, then act on that. More than likely he is going to notice and be like "Damn, this girl is an asset and not a liability. She might be worth keeping." But if you show up and only give him sex, then more than likely he's gonna leave.

Shadowrunneruk · Answer

I'm sorry you're experiencing this- it must be really hard.

I think the one thing that may help is to sit down and write down the personalities or the attributes of your partner for the last set of relationships you've had. You may see a pattern emerging in them.

For example, confident, cocky guys who are funny and flirty? Maybe a bit full of themselves?

It may help identify any particular patterns of behaviour which will help with reflection and you may want to push the boat out and try with someone who maybe different or outside your comfort zone.

On a dating app? If that average looking guy has written a really nice introduction and he has a filled out profile with lots of fun or unusual interest, reply back, start the conversation - you never know where it may lead! :)

FilmGuy93 · Answer

The advice I always give to women in your situation is to ask 3 questions. Because the answer to your problems is always in at least 1 of (usually some combination of) the answers you give me.

1. Where do you meet men?

2. What are your friends like? Who are they as people? Are they in good relationships?

3. What do you give men on dates to connect with beyond your looks?

J2ohhhhh · Answer

It's not that you attract a certain types of guys cus something is wrong with yiu or dating, but because you try to get guys the same way. For example if you always meet guys online, or in bars, nightclubs, the gym, you'll very likely to attract the same type of guys.

Put yourself in new environments where new type of guys will approach you.

ALPHABLACK · Answer

Coz guys are either scared or wiser they are not even considering girls these days I know a lot of those guys personally and I myself am the same type

Sixgunsound · Answer

Modern dating strikes again! You’re participating in the lowering of standards for men, and that being the case, they have no reason to raise them if they can get the milk without buying the cow.

242plusInfinity · Answer

I see your problem. It's obvious. Even more obvious because you are unaware which means it's unconscious.

goodgirlsteven · Answer

yes its hard sweeie but he will come. The guy your dating does not sound good to me drop him find a new one cuz while he's there he is blocking you from the one that might be right!

Iron_Man · Answer

Relationships are very complicated and difficult you have to find the right guy

Anonymous · Answer

You don't want to put forth any effort. Pretty simple.

Anonymous · Answer

if you are a ho and liberal, good men stay away

Why is it so hard to get a boyfriend?

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