Does going Dutch with my boyfriend mean he doesn't care about me?

[Anonymous]

We go Dutch 90% of the time. Where he pays for his things and I pay for mine. I'm envious of other girls who boast about their men paying for them even when they dont have to I feel like I'm not the girl of his dreams and I'm not the girl he wants to provide for. A guy treats you how he feels about you and I'm worried.

[Smoke-n-Growls]

I like to go Dutch with my partners, but my current partner does a great job of insisting on treating me on occasion.

I likewise treat him on occasion.

Your boyfriend may assume you prefer to do dutch. I know my boyfriend had to kinda talk me into him buying me meals on a more frequent basis, because I was afraid of seeming and feeling "kept". But he showed me he enjoyed buying me meals as a way for him to feel like he's caring for me.

I'd chat with him. Maybe he can't support treating you financially, or maybe he's making assumptions.

If the money is a big deal, maybe offer to go halfsies on gift cards, but have him pay at the end of the meal as a "feel good".

I plan to do the same with my partner when we live together - contribute to a joint account for dates, but allow him to "pay". That way, he feels like he's caring for me and I get to feel treated, while in reality we're still splitting the cost.

[Hangry22]

Based on your replies to others, it seems like he does care about you and like you. It's just your mindest and the way you were raised how your Dad equated love with money. If other things are well in your relationship, don't stress on it

[Asker]

Thanks!

[SpiffyDiffy]

You should be looking at the guy instead of looking at how he handles his wallet. A lot of people go dutch and stand by it, since it puts the relationship on even ground. If this is the only problem, you are most likely worrying over nothing.

[EmmaMary]

Are you expecting him to pay for everything everytime you go out, if so that puts you in the category of being a Gold Digger.

[Asker]

No I dont.. just sometimes

[EmmaMary]

That, I'm extremely pleased to read.

[AFellowWeeb]

get over yourself, feminists fought for equallity, and still do, so accept it

[Anonymous]

I always pay for my girlfriend

[Asker]

That's real sweet of you keep it up. Do you agree he doesn't like me enough because we always go dutch?

[Opinion Owner]

Unless maybe he doesn't have much money

[Asker]

He doesn't... so should I change my attitude?

[Opinion Owner]

Do you make more then him

[Asker]

Way more... maybe I should hold back on spending so much on HIM. he's already told me I'm doing too much for him. Maybe he feels he can't keep up with me but it isn't a race. This is how I was raised. My dad spent money on me to show he loves me

[Opinion Owner]

Dose he do other things to show he cares

[Asker]

Yeah he does... I can't say he doesn't.

[Opinion Owner]

Then I would not worry about it

[Asker]

Okayy... thanks I guess

[joeldalton]

Do you like him or his wallet?

[Asker]

I like him but did you even read what I wrote? I mean a guy does treat you how he feels about you right? I bet you dont go dutch for your woman. Correct?

[joeldalton]

Is he nice to you?

[Asker]

The sweetest thing ever to me... he does everything right but this one thing... and I'm only worried because this is how I was raised. My dad spent things on me to show his love. Maybe I have things wrong?

[joeldalton]

Money Can't buy me love

[Asker]

How do I get out of this mindset cause money can buy me love :( it's just a cherry on top of things

[Anonymous]

I hope this is a joke.

[Asker]

Its not.

[Opinion Owner]

So are you an escort? A prostitute? Why else would you expect him to pay for your company? Do you return the favor by having sex with him? You know what that makes you, right?

In all seriousness, why do you think he should "treat you how he feels about you" by paying for you, but you shouldn't "treat him like you feel about him" by paying for him? That is a very serious question. Please give it some thought before answering.

[Asker]

Like I've said before. My father showed me love by buying me things. I buy my boyfriend any and everything. I dont just take things.. I feel he deserves the world and I above and beyond and I dont feel he doesn't the same thing.. I don't know I do get paid way more than him... I was just worried he doesn't like me the way I like him. Before we started dating there was this girl and he told me he went above and beyond for her... he knew she liked getting her nails done and etc... he claims he did all that when he had money but I met him during his downfall and supported him... I don't know I guess I kind of resent what I did. But then I dont cause he's amazing

[Opinion Owner]

Your father was your parent and you were his child. I don't see the relevance here.

The bottom line is you as a woman expect him as a man to spend money on you. It's a female entitlement thing that stems from traditional gender roles that women SAY they want to end. You women really need to start walking the equality walk and stop just paying it lip service.

[Asker]

I'm not really a feminist tho lol I still believe a man should be a leader and provider. I cook and clean and pay my Bill's and pay for him. I'm not a man.. I'm a woman

[Asker]

Plus, I'm saying that's how I was raised... kids normally mirror what their parents do..

[Opinion Owner]

Well at least you recognize your sexist double standards.

[Asker]

Sexist? So I dont want to be a feminist so the other part is I'm sexist? Ur a loser goodbye

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, definitely sexist. You should educate yourself on what the term means because you clearly don't recognize it in yourself.

[Asker]

How am I sexist? When all I want is for my man to pay for me sometimes?