Men, are you intimated by beautiful and high maintenance woman? Would you rather settle down with a plan Jane?

[Anonymous]

I come across as quite maintenance woman and snobby but if the man stayed long enough to get to know me, they would see I am a very sweet and innocent girl. I have noticed most of my relationships have been short term I never had the time to open up fully and show them my vulnerable side. Usually I date guys for about 3-4 months max and then things fall apart mainly when I see most guys just pull away and put less effort. I am not sure if I come across as too intimidating to them or they just wanted to get laid and didn’t want to hurt me. I am been disappointed because men don’t take the time to get to know me. I am not sure if I am doing something wrong or I am just dating jerks. To be honest, when I look back all the guys I’ve been with, none of them are in a relationship or married. So I guess they never wanted serious?

[abc3643]

Intimidation is not the right word at all...

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If you Google "Beautiful Girl Syndrome", that's basically saying that beautiful girls can be bitchier and high maintenance because guys are willing to put up with more because she is so beautiful. Guys won't put up with so much shit and work if the girl isn't so attractive.

"Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" is a phrase I coined, but it's a real thing I discovered not quite 40 years ago. This will take some time to explain...

All guys need to feel that they can "win". They view things as something like a competition in which there is some goal that they want to achieve. If a guy wants something and he believes that there is SOME possibility that he may get it, he will get emotionally involved. If he begins to believe that he won't get that, then he begins to withdraw and get emotionally detached. However, sometimes a guy doesn't even think he has a chance, so he doesn't bother...

And this is where "Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2" comes in. If a girl is really beautiful, a regular guy thinks:
1. There are a zillion other guys who want her.
2. She almost certainly already has a boyfriend.
3. There is no way she'd be attracted to me; I am not anything special.
4. If she did date me, she'd dump me for some better-looking guy who will hit on her and there definitely will be such a guy.
5. She's going to be bitchy and high maintenance. (In other words, he's thinking she suffers from normal Beautiful Girl Syndrome.)

So, he basically thinks that
1) he doesn't have a chance to get her,
2) if he did, he'll lose her, and
3) she's going to be a lot of work.

Because oceans of guys think like this - the only exception being the hunky guys - the beautiful girl either can't find a guy or goes with dickhead hunky guys (who suffer from Beautiful Guy Syndrome). Of course, the regular guys see the beauties with the hunky guys and that just reinforces their belief that they don't have a chance...

Oh, and one more thing: Since the beautiful girls can get guys, they are getting laid... So, any new boyfriend has to "compete" against all of her past lovers and many guys don't think they are going to "measure up" (if you know what I mean) compared to those past hunky guys.

So, a beautiful girl needs to be proactive and hit on men instead of waiting for them to hit on her. A beautiful girl being proactive removes doubts males have regarding Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2.

Just to reiterate, this is Beautiful Girl Syndrome Type 2 in a nutshell:

If a girl is attractive enough, many guys will not approach her simply because:

1. He thinks he doesn't have a shot because:
A. He thinks she's already taken. After all, a girl that attractive is going to have lots of guys hitting on her.
B. Even if she was available, like with all women, no guy wants to get shot down. With a beautiful girl, guys expect that they will get shot down.

2. If he did get her, she'd be a lot of work to keep her.

3. ... and then she'll eventually leave him for a better-looking / richer guy anyway.

[Hmmmbetternothere]

You got played it seems like. Try good dating sites with strict rules and good match making. Take your time weeding through the riff raff. Take time texting and really getting to know the person before ever dating. Tell them you only want someone for a LTR. Don't post racy pics in public only in private and save them for your top three choices to give them at the right time. Could aim high, there is one where you pick millionaires. Watch out for scammers and do background checks before dating anyone.

[psychoticanimallover]

I also possess all the positive qualities of a high maintenance woman and all the positive qualities of a plain Jane while possessing none of the associated negative qualities. I am extremely nice but also extremely cool and extremely innocent but extremely slutty and I’m also extremely laid back while being extremely popular and extremely beautiful but extremely low-maintenance. But, all the men just walk past like I’m Casper, wtf?

[slatyb]

High maintenance? What does that mean? My wife is beautiful but not high maintenance. She's can be dressed and ready in 15 minutes.

To me, high maintenance means someone is ideally confident but inwardly very insecure. I don't have time for that.

[Dchrls78104]

To be frank, a high maintenance woman is a deal-breaker for me; a beautiful woman is not. If all beautiful women were high maintenance, I'd rather be with a plain Jane who is not.

[fred_durst]

not intimidated , i am just too lazy too put that much of effort

[RohitLakra]

I'm a very high maintenance guy.

[Anonymous]

I like beautiful high maintenance women