People keep assuming I'm gay when I'm straight?

[Anonymous]

So I'm a guy in my early 20s, 6'0 and slender. I've had at least 15-20 people in the last year tell me they assumed Im gay (a few have guessed I'm bi but most have assumed gay), using words like "twink" to describe me and so on. It doesn't personally offend me but most women assume I'm not into women and as a straight guy, thats not exactly what you want. When I ask people why they assume I'm gay, they say various things, ranging from its because I'm funny, have "boyish good looks", and that I just give off a gay vibe. How do I counteract this when trying to date?

[btbc92]

Well I don't know that maybe something in you that they sent spiritually that is probably not good. A lot of people don't have to be gay oh, but they can have a jezebel or homosexual spirit. That can be done by a lot of things. Either from generational curses meeting has been passed down from your direct bloodline who may have had that, or participated and homosexual activity so now it open those doors, witchcraft can also be a reason to because witchcraft spirit is the head of a homosexual spirit. So a person who dabbled in Witchcraft, and mess with stuff they shouldn't be messing with, can open those doors. If you done it yourself, that's another. If you've been dabbling in pornography and pointed apples with that, that's another thing. So there's a various reason why. But at the end of the day, you won't really no reason why unless you become self aware of certain things around you. It is very possible that your demeanor is giving people the wrong perception of you. But, I say the best way to handle the situation is to not be with people who are not going to respect what you clearly just said. Do not be actively trying to find a partner and you don't have a lot of the reason to find one. That's key number one. Number two two is understand that at the end of the day you got to figure yourself out. Since we don't necessarily know what you are doing, how your dressing, how your you're communicating. how you're portrayed yourself. And the only thing that you can do is see those areas that has been listed. Look how your dressing, be mindful of how you sound, listen to what you're saying, not just what you're saying. See how you're handling with your tone of voice, look at your outfits, see how you look, from your hair your eyes, what you put in your skin, Etc. These key things can insinuate a message that you don't want to send parrot certain styles of clothing, how you have your hair, how you speak, Etc can tell a lot to a person.

[btbc92]

Other than that it just sounds like you are no person to me. You help take care of yourself and you care about your grooming needing such, I don't see how in the world are people going to disrespecting down play you like that because you prefer personal hygiene. I suppose right there that says a lot about men and men want to know why a lot of women don't want to bother with them.

[Asker]

Very interesting answer. I try to be self aware of what it could be besides the reasons people have told me, even if I knew, im not sure I could even alter it much since its just who I am, yknow?

[btbc92]

Is trial and error parrot what if they all saying something like that just definitely something there that probably isn't right. Otherwise I think it's just best to just simply ignore people. People assume about me being so cold lesbian because I refuse to have sex outside of marriage or lust after men. So it would go as far to say I'm a sexual because I'm not being sexually active. They'll call you prove religious and everything else Under the Sun. At the end of the day I know who I am in God. It's nobody else's business what I choose to do with my life but between me and God. So at that point if you know you're not doing anything to be of concern you just need to Simply ignore them cuz it sounds like you just attracted and getting yourself involved with the wrong kind of women. To be honest some of them from what you're describing I'm not saying all them. Some of them act immature anyway.

[Asker]

You're right, shouldn't be ashamed of you are

[btbc92]

To be honest I love being single. When I keep hearing motor relationship problems from other people it just lets me know that I am making the right decision. I cannot find myself involved with another man only for me to be hurt you that abused by people. I kept myself for a good reason. It really hurts to know that all people care about is sex nowadays but they treat sex like his dirty too. I don't want anything to do with something that is not of God. I'm pretty sure there are women out there that was love and respect you but you got to learn to befriend them and get to know who they are first. If they are not making the effort to truly get to know you they are not worth your time. I'll tell that to anybody we're going to see if you are a man or a woman. You need to be like a woman who's going to love you and treat you with respect. Not because you carry yourself differently. I think it's overall good for a man to keep him so groomed and to keep himself clean. But at the same time, he needs to do what he has to do for himself and not to try to please other people. The fact that they don't at least make the effort to try to get to know you properly says a lot about them than it does about you. I'll just admit one thing I would be probably a bit with it out in concern too. But I will not be so quick to judge without any proper evidence.

[93_n_on]

This is fu*king stupid and is dumb sh*t made up as an excuse. I bet you believe in false prophets too.

[btbc92]

If you have nothing else to say, please leave. If your not a believer in God, then please go elsewhere. Nothing of what I have to say is made up. You got problems you need to take it up with God. Not with me.

[MissGeorgia]

Have they told you what you are doing that makes them think that?
Do you have camp tendencies? Are you always preening yourself? One of my guy friends thought my boyfriend was gay for a while “because he has perfect eyebrows” 🤷🏻‍♀️ ... sometimes it’s the things you don’t even think of.


You don’t need to change anything, showing enough interest in the girls you like is enough.

[Asker]

The most common answer I get is because I'm skinny and boyish looking. I'm not particularly flamboyant in my opinion, just a kinda high energy guy. I agree with your last sentence expect I think most women think im gay so they might not think of me in a romantic/sexual way, even after finding out I'm straight lol

[MissGeorgia]

Do you think that because you don’t give off the manly alpha male vibe that girls wouldn’t be as attracted?
That’s not necessarily true. They might find you very attractive and be relived that you aren’t gay!!

Don’t fall down the rabbit hole of assumption.

[Asker]

Ha I know I'm probably not the most manly guy you'll meet so thats probably part of it.

I try not to make assumptions but its difficult not to when people act surprised when you tell them "No I'm straight" and their response is "For real?" lmao sounds silly I know

[MissGeorgia]

I knew a guy years ago who everyone thought was gay when they met him. The first thing he ever said to me was “I’m not gay, by the way” ... and I hadn’t even said anything!
After I found out he wasn’t gay, I forgot that I ever thought he was gay.
He never had trouble getting girls, so don’t worry!

[Asker]

Thats one way of letting people know lmfao smart dude

[Asker]

It has me a little psyched out but hopefully I'll learn to get past it

[KrakenAttackin]

Stop.

[93_n_on]

And even then people will still lie and assume

[MissGeorgia]

@93_n_on Some might, but others won’t

[Archerer]

Grow a beard. Lol, that probably won’t work. I don’t know man, I had the same thing happen to me all the time. I never really cared, but I did always wonder what they had in their head about me to think that... I think one possibility is that when I broke my teeth skateboarding, the fake teeth I got in replacement changed the way I spoke and had a gay flare to it, nothing I could do about it, it changed the shape of my mouth. But I still got plenty of women, even ones that thought I was gay at first. My wife included. I think you just need to be more willing to flirt and make moves I guess.

[Asker]

Thanks for your answer brother. Unfortunately I can't grow any facial hair lol. I'll try not to think about it and let it bother me. Guess it's just one of those things you gotta live with.

[RACSKC0B]

Dude, stop trying to change this, right now.
If you're straight, or even bi, you're the luckiest guy ever. You just need to figure out how to use it to you're advantage.
PM me if you're having trouble figuring out how to do this.

[Asker]

Luckiest guy how? Lol

[RACSKC0B]

Bloodhound Gang - I Wish I Was Queer

[MountAverage]

Very simple. When a woman assumes you're gay, you correct her and tell her you're straight. That's it.

[Ghostloli]

Does it really matter?

Plenty girls like bi guys and feel more connected.

[zagor]

Do you talk with a lilt, make exaggerated gestures? I don't know why they'd think that just because you're slender.

[KrakenAttackin]

Harden your image, be a bit more harsh and eradicate Soy Boy mannerisms from your life

[Asker]

Interesting answer lol.

[KrakenAttackin]

I wasn't kidding. Nice guys finish last.

[KrakenAttackin]

Women don't want to date another woman.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Act like you have problems. Women like to fix "broken" men.

[Obscurite]

Stop acting gay.

[Asker]

Why didn't I think of that?

[Obscurite]

If you could see the problem you probably wouldn't have a problem to solve.

[Asker]

Probably true bro lol

[Obscurite]

Being tall and good looking isn't enough to get the gay tag. Think dress, posture, hair and word choice. Its usually just some minor signals that read the wrong way.

[Asker]

I've been told I have almost perfect posture lmao not sure what the hell that means though. I usually dress in jeans and regular shirts, nothing fancy or particularly standoutish. My hair I do style a lot, different styles though. My word choice is pretty standard. I don't use any particular out of the ordinary words lol.

[Obscurite]

Probably the hair and if you have a more feminine face, if you are using makeup or the like, I'm just going to go back to calling you gay.

Hair is the biggest symbolic, and a lot of grooming is as well.

Honestly, why worry about it? I say that as someone who will confidently tell you that homosexuality is a mental disorder but that said, a man doesn't need to worry about minor things. Just go after the women you want and they'll get the right idea. The average bitches you are after love the gay think anyways and softer men.

[Asker]

Nahh never used makeup and never will lol. I get you bro, I try not to worry about it but I feel like I have to go out of my way to prove I'm not gay. People being constantly surprised to hear you're not "soemthing" they assumed you were can be a little mind jarring.

[Asker]

"Something"***

[Obscurite]

Hmm, perhaps I can't relate as people react very strongly to my personality and rarely do they mistake me for... ahh the occasional dumb one misses the fact that I'm not to be messed with the way people do online and that IS annoying.

Well, what matters is that you know yourself, maybe ask if there's some trait, or clothing choice and change that, symbolism isn't bad if its just that. I wear a wedding ring after all, dress says a lot about you as well.

In the end if you just go after the girl though its fine, you should be selecting and initiating anyways. If they mistake you for gay through no fault of yours then just have a bit of fun at their expense.

(Might want to do a photo how do I look type thing and ask if there's a trait, my wife can spot gay a mile away)

[KrakenAttackin]

Watch a bunch of Steve McQueen movies to see how a man acts. He is the original cool.