Indian boyfriend hasn’t told his parents we’re together - is this normal?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been dating an Indian man for 2 1/2 years now. But he hasn’t officially told his parents he has a girlfriend (I’m white from Europe). I’ve heard that Indian men often don’t introduce their girlfriend to their family until they’re ready to literally marry them. And I’ve tried to be understanding about this. But when I get questions from my family asking if I’ve met his family, etc... it’s kind of embarrassing having to cover up for him without making him look like a douche to my European family. We live together now so if his parents were to visit, they’d defo find out we’re together. I just think it’s a bit silly living with someone but not telling your family ‘by the way I have a girlfriend, oh and I live with her too’. I know this is a cultural clash and Indian culture is different to European culture. But I just want to find a solution that would make me feel respected instead of a dirty secret. Thanks!

[iseekpinetrees]

Yes culture plays a big part in this. Talk to him about it. Are you fat? That can play a role in not telling the parents. They also might be already engaged to someone else due to arranged marriages and therefore not serious about you. They also like u said might not tell people until marry you. Your a big dirty secret.

Personally I had an Indian friend and he kept me as a secret and I found it repulsive never have I been a secret and nor did I want to stay that way. Dumped that person as a friend. He was selfish as fuck anyways.

If I were you I'd demand to meet his parents there's many different ways now. Via zoom is okay even. You should know the person you marry.

[Asker]

It’s so hard isn’t it because one the one hand it’s a cultural thing but then on the other hand... I feel like he’s not that serious about me if he doesn’t want to tell his family about me. I’ve met his friends etc but he seems a bit funny about his immediate family. He’s been living in Europe for a few years now and it doesn’t look like he’ll be going back any time soon... so I highly doubt he’s already promised to someone else (especially the fact that he gas an older brother living at home who also is not married - I don’t think his parents are that traditional in the sense that ‘you must marry’, etc) So in that case there shouldn’t be a reason why he hasn’t told them about me! I don’t know, it just makes me feel undervalued and like he doesn’t care even though he mostly shows that he loves me a lot. Very confused.

[Lone_wolf122]

Maybe he doesn't want YOU to meet his family instead of not wanting them to meet you... But anyway hiding your relationship with someone is almost always a bad thing... And.. Um... Why haven't you asked him already?

[Asker]

I have several times. But until now I’ve been ok with that because we weren’t living together. Now we are...

[UnknownGagsUser]

He's a douche tell him to man up

[Asker]

Thanks!

[bjaddict]

he's probably not serious about you