At what point is it a red flag when a girl cancels a hang out?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Maybe she cancelled because at your age you called it a hang out instead of a date and she wants a guy who doesn't play those word games.

[Asker]

I doubt it. I’m certain she doesn’t like me back

[Opinion Owner]

Then what is the question?

[Asker]

Why would she agree to hang out if she doesn’t like me?

[Opinion Owner]

One possibility: Maybe she didn't have a better offer at that time and thought spending time with you was better than sitting at home. And then maybe a better come came in so she cancelled with you.

[Asker]

She said she had to babysit because her nephews daycare was closed. I’m suspicious but I really don’t know

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds plausible. If she isn't interested, why are you bothering? Thinking you can spark her to have an interest in you?

[Asker]

Nah not at all. We work together and she said we should hang out so that’s all I’m doing. She knows I like her

[Opinion Owner]

So she knows you have more of an interest and she does not have the same level of interest. Do you think she is afraid that spending time together is encouraging you to have some false hope?

[Asker]

I do think that But I’m uncertain if that is the truth. She won’t tell me so I have to guess

[Opinion Owner]

Instead of suggesting a time to spend together (which she can then reject with some excuse,) ask her when she would like to get together. If she avoids answering the question, I think you will then know everything that you need to know.

[Asker]

I’ll try. We haven’t really texted in a while. I think I made too many mistakes and probably sinked myself but if she really liked me it wouldn’t matter

[Opinion Owner]

Nothing to lose, right?

[Asker]

Nope besides being humiliated at work. She could tell everyone at work what I’m doing. We already had a situation where there were rumors about us

[Opinion Owner]

That makes a difference. Is it worth taking that chance?

[Asker]

She is a nice girl but I don’t know if she is worth it. In the past she mentioned that she had a boyfriend but I don’t know the status of that. Based on what I seen I don’t know whether she is just friendly or she really is interested

[Opinion Owner]

Does your work group ever do anything together after work, like a happy our event?

[Asker]

Not yet because the pandemic

[Opinion Owner]

I'm in Florida and our lockdown ended many months ago. Maybe when the lockdown ends in your area, you can invite her to join a group for happy hour and then you can spend your time talking to her, if she's interested, and it won't be too obvious or embarrassing if she is not.

[Hopelessromantic182]

If she cancels and does not reschedule then that means she wasn’t really interested.

[Asker]

If she says I’m sorry I can’t make it can you do it next Friday, would you consider that rescheduling?

[Hopelessromantic182]

Yup so that’s a good sign 👍🏼

[Asker]

But it came after I asked her when is she free, is that still a good sign?

[Hopelessromantic182]

You’d only find out if she actually shows up. If she cancels again it’s time to move on.

[Asker]

I’ll have to wait to see because Friday I can’t make it. Right now we have no date to meet up. I think she doesn’t want to meet up because she sees me as a friend and not a romantic partner