Guys, how long do you date before asking her to be your girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

[BillHe1]

For me, it was about 3 months, and soon the "girlfriend" title became "fiancee" and very soon afterwards "wife". All in less than a year. How time flies, lots of flirting and "making out", some hand-jobs and maybe if I was lucky, a little getting my finger wet playing in her pussy; but NO "Hookups" as in today's standards.

The 1st Hookup was in a Hotel Suite on our Wedding Night, as we very slowly (or should I say too expeditiously) attempted to Consummate our Marriage; which proved to be a very "embarrassing 1st attempt" for both of us.

Although I don't agree to early promiscuous sex, I think that an earlier Hookup probably also embarrassing, in our situation might have provided the essential learning aid and less pressure on our Wedding Night.

In today's Hookups which I feel are too many and too fast in "dating" or "girlfriend" relationship situations; are probably very essential in learning what or who you are actually looking for in a longer relationship.

[Apope16]

NEVER. No guy should be asking about relationship status. Thats the womans job. Its the guy who must be mysterious and allusive. Non committal. The moment a guy does this she's bored with him and looking for a new challenge.

[simpSlayer1]

Based fren

[randomusername321]

How do I ask a girl out on a date that I'm actually not interested in committing to yet, but I am only interested in her without having her in the delusion that I love her a lot?

[Apope16]

@randomusername321 no problem. Message her and ask, "So what are you looking for in the dating scene these days?"

She will probably give some cryptic reply of not being sure. If she is intense she will talk about a desire for something real or a relationship.

No matter what just reply, "Awesome! I really want to enjoy my time with someone and see how things go naturally. Get to know them and see how we click."

Now if you know for a fact that you only wsnt sex. Then say, "I am honestly not looking to jump into anything serious right now. Just looking for a friends with benefits."

[randomusername321]

Nice answer, thanks.

[t-8900]

so then what happens if she takes that as a queue to sleep behind your back assuming you are doing the same to her?

[ShadezMcgee]

My girlfriend and I dated for about two months. I never asked her to be my girlfriend during that period. I would set up dates on the phone when she reached out and would keep texting conversations short like 1 to 3 messages. She asked me "where is this going?" And it went into the relationship from there.

I didn't ask her because when I did that in the past with women I was talking to, it turned them off and made them disinterested. Women tend to be more attracted to men whose feelings are unclear. I knew I liked my girlfriend enough to want to keep seeing her and hanging out while we were dating because I actually had fun with her and we had good chemistry. Time always flew by and I didn't feel pressured and felt relaxed.

She was leagues better than other women I dated in the past which is why I am with her now.

[Leavesbound]

I have a policy. I only date a woman if I think she might make a good wife. If I'm still dating her then I have not changed my mind. If we can still stand each other by the third date then when that date is about to conclude I ask her if she'd like to be my girlfriend.

[Asker]

fair enough

[DamnSam]

Usual at 4th to 5th date, just because I don't want to wake up one day and she says that we never talked about it so she thought there is no responsibility of a real relationship...

Happened two times... both times I found out that they actual dated other guys while they spend time with me which really did hurt because we where in this over a half year...

But, it's the wrong way to ask for a relationship with her... ask if she would be happy to be in an relationship with you, not the other way around...

[Anonymous]

If you are dating a guy and consider yourself his girlfriend... then guess what? You're his girlfriend. We are not talking about getting engaged to be married here just that you feel he and you are now boyfriend and girlfriend. You don't ask to be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend... you ask to like get married or "Hey, wanna have a kid together?" Though, I must admit that would freak me and most guys out.

[NathanDavis]

I never have, I was either asked (twice), or it "just happened" (twice).

[Asker]

I guess 2 is your lucky number

[NathanDavis]

Then I might settle with the sixth...

But if I were more accurate
- I was asked once
- second time was more like "was bound to happen"
- third time was more like "What are we, I guess we're an item"
- and the fourth time, she just said "you're mine now"

[loveslongnails]

Are you really 30 something? It has nothing to do with the length of time that you date. It has everything to do with your commitment to one another. Have you heard the expression "if you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it"? Well, if you have to ASK if your boyfriend and girlfriend because you don't KNOW, then you're not.

[Asker]

Just because I'm 30 do I need to know the answers for everything? Don't be so quick to judge.

[loveslongnails]

I'm not judging you, although yes, I'm rather stunned at the whole concept of being 30+ and "asked" to be someone's girlfriend !! Either way, I'll stick to my response with a slight variation. If you feel like you need to be formally "asked", then either:
a) you're probably not his girlfriend in his eyes, or
b) it's SOOOO obvious to him that you ARE his girlfriend, he feels no need at all to mention it !!

I'm guessing you want to hear the official declaration?

[Asker]

I never said this was a personal question. Again, don’t be so quick to judge.

[loveslongnails]

Think of it as "the generic you". The only way I could attempt a somewhat valid response to imagine the asker was the person involved, and the age was accurate. That's not a "judgement", it's a presumption for the sake of the question. Now, since you didn't indicate the AGES of the parties involved which would allow something of a guess as to maturity, the respondent needs to presume "something" in order to answer.

If the parties involved are 15, you don't need more than one date ! If they're 35, you would think you need at least 3 dates, probably more.

[the007datingcoach]

The woman should tell you.

Women are more emotional than men and should bring it up the question when they are ready.

[EarnestBaly]

I think a big part of that has everything to do with how long you have known each other? If you already have a "friendship" established of at least like a year, I would think just a couple of dates because you already know your personalities click. If it's someone you barely know (bar number, tinder etc.) I would wait, personally, until I had dated that person for like 6 monhs.. or hell, if you haven't met their friends and hung out a few times is a good indicator on if it's premature too.

[AgentDearestZ]

I assume you’re asking this because you want him to ask you. If he didn’t ask you it’s cause he’s either used to you or getting used to you. Women need to step up and actually ask men if they want something, especially if they want equality like feminists. I never understood why women look at dudes they like and just stand there like it’s going to do something.

[Asker]

This isn't a personal question.

[Anonymous]

I don't know but guys who get rarely ask that question. Their immensely attractive.
They know what a woman wants and they give them what she wants but indirectly.

They are so mysterious that they make women to go crazy wanting to know its inside their minds. Surely women will never know until its TOOOOOOOOO LAAAAAATE...