You're not in the club alone. I have never had a boyfriend. I grew up being encouraged to marry and not be in a series of casual relationships (serial dater, boyfriend and girlfriend). If you were going to pursue a relationship pursue with intentions to marry. So, my chances meeting someone on the same level or foundation has been slim. You not only going to like someone doesn't like you or visa versa... you're also going to meet people that's out for one thing "sex" or you like someone and they like you but it doesn't workout. A lot of people are starting not to want "marriage" but they still want commitment (that's another discussion).
I haven't met anyone that I can truly see as family. If he's not like the men in my family, it's a wrap. The men in my family are "men" men that provide, support, protect and enjoy family and God. I look for those same characteristics in men I find myself attracted to.
I don't settle to say I'm with someone. I'm not picky. I just haven't met him yet. And, I'm okay with that. I try to be most of the time. It's nothing I can do but be patient. If it doesn't happen, life is still all good.
Yup! Just was raised to date with intention. I don't want to be a girlfriend but a wife. It's not a popular thing to do, but I'm good for it. I'm wise. I'm discerning. I listen to my God given "intuition". So, yeah, I've met guys along my life journey but they weren't meant to be "him" or they would be in my life or "him". I don't chase a man or try for his interest beyond where we are. If he's not interested in taking it further, I don't press the issue. One thing I know, if a man want to be with you, you don't have to chase or pressure or beckon him to be about you. He'll make it known he wants to be with you. He wants you in his life.
Now, I have met and attracted nice looking men. And, men who character was decent, it just didn't workout for us. Some went on married and others are single, divorce, maybe have a girlfriend or girlfriends.
But, I value my time, my love, my peace.
And, no, I'm not a virgin. I'm sure that's the next question or thought. I decided I wanted to have sex at 31. He was associate friend who became more than an associate. I knew he would be someone I could trust and enjoy my experience with. He did not disappoint. We vibe, connected, etc. I miss him. He was cool. But, he wasn't meant to be more than what I asked of him.
All in all, I'm patient. I'm comfortable being single. I enjoy doing me when I feel like it without considering someone's feelings, etc.
You remind of my friend. Her name is Jennifer. I assume that is your name too? She is like 33 or 34. But she has health issues so that is more the issue with her but she has this old mentality or sense about her. I've never met 1 girl like her but reading this feels like her. Anyway I enjoyed reading your story. It's inspiring. There is something I wanted to say in regards to faith but I don't wanna overstep.
Where you been? Plenty of single women. Especially where I live. And, to imply "shock" you shouldn't be. Not many desire a Good relationship. Let alone know how to be in one. It's to find some to have sex with. Not easy to find someone to cover you in love or find someone you want to cover with love.
That's *Easy* to find someone to have sex with. Shoot, I can get that any day of the week if I want. Just on GAG alone "thirsty" dudes popping up in my email box "Hey" Hey? NEEEEXXXT! I know where the conversation is going or would like to go.
The men in my area are spoiled. They go after women with the least path of resistance. Some women make it easy for men "sex" wise... why would they want to be in a committed relationship where they have to be vulnerable and work at getting you and themselves... Too much work.
well its just the last thing you would expect, when you hear of a woman surpass 30 and never had a boyfriend before, but quite common for that to happen to guys
If your age is actually 33, why would anyone have a girlfriend at age 3? I never had a boyfriend until late high school. Second one was early college. Sometimes you don't have many. I didn't. Five or six in my teens and 20s.
I don't think most people can expect to have a boatload of SOs. You only need a few to figure out what you'd like and what's possible for a relationship.
33 is hardly old. Start looking again and see who's there. Do meetups. This past year hasn't been good for anyone, so the going will be slow. Take your time. Your sperm will hold out a few years longer!
a couple of things having grown up in a poor area, where we could not afford a car..
having a girlfriend has bugger all to do with having money, that’s always the thing that pisses me off when guys come out with that bollox.
nor does your job, wage or anything else.
the main things are.
being visibly available to girls. bring nice, not scared to chat to a girl about loads different stuff.
not having your sights set to high, don’t aim to far out of your socio economic group.
do Not try and get girls that are obviously above you own attraction level, if you struggle with girls that are not hugely pretty, bit overweight etc, you likely have zero chance with anyone above that level.
perseverance is key, body language, smiling with your eyes and mouth, learning to flirt in a non verbal manner.
I was 19 when i first had a any contact with women, nothing before in that regard, holding hands, kissing etc etc. Didn't even speak with one, now that i think about it.
I was of the least popular kid in school and also got beat up at home. So i became pretty introverted. Just doing my own thing. Even to this day.
Although, for some reason i'm very popular these days, people want to chat/hang, ask advice in my field etc. I have 1,5 guy friends who i hang with and maybe 1 female friend.
Things happen in life. What is your story? Why do you think you don't have a girlfriend?
I don't think there is anything wrong with you, maybe you just stay away from everybody, kind of like me. Only going from home to work.
There is just SO much missing to ever be able to give yo any kind of proper answer. (Kinda like 3+ = .) but the important thing is moving forward. Find someone now! You can’t change the past, that’s why they call it the past. But you could fix the future!
Also, I just noticed that you are 33…. So, you were 3 years old when you last had a girlfriend? I just can’t believe that ALL throughout school, you never had ONE girlfriend, not a single girl EVER held hands with you on the playground… EVER? I think you are being just a tad hyperbolic. But my advice stands. It’s not your past that matters, it’s what you do going forward! If you really want to meet someone, you are going to have to put yourself out there. Take risks, because nobody ever discovered something amazing w/o taking a few risks!
its obviously much easier for a guy to go his whole life without a girlfriend than the other way around, probably because the burden of pursuit or making the first move, asking someone out, still falls on guys shoulders
@K-I-S-S ya, sometimes i like to feel that women are the only gender that are owed or entitled to dates or sexual relationships, since women don't have to do anything in order to make a relationship happen or start with a guy, it should be obvious as to what i'm talking about
@IHateBeingaMan First how is THAT obvious? Second. do you really think that asking a woman out is a burden? Maybe the fact that you see asking a woman out as a burden, is the reason you spend so much time being single, perhaps it’s even the reason you actually hate being a man? Most strong confident men, actually enjoy pursuing women! In fact that’s the reason so many women are frustrated because men are not serious about long-term relationships… The “thrill of the hunt” is what they get off on… “scoring”! Once they’ve fucked the woman, they loose interest! Most women aren’t interested in just getting laid, it’s just not about the sex for us, it’s about the security of a relationship! All you’re doing is ascribing masculine traits to women. That’s not how life works! It’s reductive, and it’s massively erroneous! It’s sorta like you see an attractive woman and all you want to do is fuck her, so you assume that when we see an attractive man, that all we want to do is fuck him! When have you ever looked at a woman, and thought “I wonder what kind of mother she’d be”? Jesus! You do realize that women are not just men with vaginas, right? This is probably the reason that guys of a certain ilk, believe that most women are secretly lesbian, or if not lesbian, certainly more than willing to go down on our friends at the first sign we are unsupervised, and won’t get caught1. It’s so sad that you hate being a man, because you can’t get laid, but don’t realize that if you WERE a woman, getting laid just wouldn’t be that important to you anyway!
well i hate taking action with a huge passion, it is a chore, burden, what is the god damn logic behind why going after what you want is a masculine thing?
@IHateBeingaMan Let’s take the second point first. that’s the whole point! Women are more creatures of emotion, we don’t do logic even remotely as well as men, and you men don’t do emotional nearly as well as women! That is the main cause of contention between men and women. As to your first point that you “hate taking action with a passion”. That’s nothing to do with NOT being a woman, that’s just you being lazy! Do you honestly think that being a woman would exempt you from taking action? So what happens if you get your wish and become a woman? How do you support yourself? Do you even have a clue just how expensive things like makeup are? How expensive the skin care products we need are, just to stop breaking out in acne because all that makeup clogs our pores. All the shit we have to buy because we look better to you when we dress nicely, and look sexy, buy not too sexy? What about when the man of your dreams wants children, so you give him the children he wants, but then you gain weight because… well, because you’ve given birth to three children! But HE preferred it when you were skinny so now he leaves you for another, younger, woman? How do you feed your children? Being a woman doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work hard, it means you have to work twice as hard just to be thought of as equal!
well you women don't really have to do anything in order to make a relationship happen or start with a guy, it should be obvious as to what i'm talking about
Probably mental/ emotional reasons. For me I've only had a online long distance girlfriend and it was mostly because I had a lot of personaly things to deal with and figure out and I was also not willing to fully commit to finding a girlfriend because I wanted to work on other things in my life as well and my energy is quite limited. Also important is to let them come to you. You have to make yourself available and show what you're about but they make the decision.
That would be on you my guy I don’t know you very well but off of looks alone you’re not ugly at all so either you lack confidence or are doing something to drive women away try dating apps and go from there I’m sure there are books about fixing confidence and learning how to talk to women
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
State your height and show a pic of your body. What you think is an ok physique may be vastly different than what is an actual good physique for women. Also show picture of your hair so we can know where you are at norwood wise.
100% fix: Go meet up with "The Natural Lifestlyes" or "RSD" aka Owen Tyler Cook's company. Dude don't wait. They save men like you all the time. At least look into it. You got nothing to lose man. You're still young dude don't waste the final years of your youth. This is the best advice you will get. Nobody on here is gonna give you something that will magically help you. Trust me. Go to these people I've listed and have a open mind man. I promise you, you won't regret it.
There is no solid answer to this question. I have never been anywhere near to a girlfriend and I'm 43. I know myself, and so must you. If you want a relationship with a woman, the first place to look for it is the mirror.
The opposite problem is strange too. I've had a hundred girlfriends, but never got married. I don't really care that much about it, but sometimes I wonder why my life has been so different from the norm.
I don't typically care that much about relationships, so I couldn't know how you feel. Have you tried asking anyone out? Or have you just been expecting stuff to happen by itself?
Don’t know what you like to do? But go to where people meet with the same interest. If you meet Someone. Great talk and get to know each other. Take time! 30 years what’s 1 more if you gain In the long tun?
The same way anything doesn't happen. It's been not happening every day for 30 years. Have you even tried? How many women have you ever asked out? How many women do you know now?
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Another reminder of something I've always will resent
