I feel like I had sex with someone when I wasn’t ready, should I tell them?

[Anonymous]

So I had sex with someone out of pressure. For me it felt like rape, but I know it wasn’t. They want to hangout again but I feel overwhelmed that it’ll happen again.

Should I explain the situation to them? To see if I want to pursue the relationship and further?

[caring__1]

It's not a good idea to do anything without discussing it in advance. It's important for both to have a clear understanding of where the other person is and what that person wants. If you want to have a relationship with this person, have an in-depth conversation about the topic along with what you look for to know the time is right for you. If the person isn't receptive, you know you're dealing with a self-centered person, and it's time to move on.

In the future, stop anything that is leading in a direction you aren't ready to go, before you get to the point of no return.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad you recognize that it wasn't rape just because you weren't ready and regretted it afterward.

That said, I agree with what Pistolpete90 said.

[Pistolpete90]

You should absolutely tell them that you want to slow things down a bit. Obviously I'm not sure of the exact circumstances around what happened, but you should only do and agree to what you're comfortable with. A decent guy will respect your boundaries.

[princeofromance]

Yes, They will respect you for your honesty. Don't fake it to make it. That is a bad strategy to live by.

[Nachowedgie]

If you didn't tell him no or to stop what he was doing then it isn't rape. Regretting it afterwards doesn't make it rape either

[Asker]

Buddy, reread it I never said it was

[Nachowedgie]

I didn't say you did, but you said it felt like rape which based on the information you've given us it obviously wasn't

[Asker]

You’re stating information I already knew/confirmed. Instead of answering the actual question. If someone pressures/ignores your body language it can FEEL like rape and even if it wasn’t. Commenting just to tell me it wasn’t rape isn’t helpful and belittling my feelings considering I already stated it wasn’t rape, y’know!

[Nachowedgie]

You said you had sex out of pressure though, but you didn't say no or told him to stop, so you obviously obliged and consented to the sex act. If you didn't want to have sex then you shouldve told him the first time, it's a bit late now, not like he can unfuck you

[Asker]

Bro, you’re not even answering the question I asked? You’re going off on random shit. Obliged? Are you trying to say because someone doesn’t say no OR yes that they asked/wanted it? If so you’re the problem. At this point it sounds like a personal problem. I’d go ask what consent is on here to humble yourself

[Nachowedgie]

I know what consent is, if you weren't giving clear signals that you didn't want to have sex i. e by saying no or stop or pushing him off you then it wasn't rape, it's really that simple, he can't read your mind

[Asker]

Ugh, go educate yourself and make sure the girl REALLY wants it before assuming. Ffs

[Nachowedgie]

Just because you fail to communicate what you want doesn't make it anyone else's fault