Trigger warning // sexual coercion
I was talking to a guy for several months. I really cared for him& appreciated him being patient w/ me bc he knew how hard it was for me to open up. We met through a friend. We were excited to go on another date soon. Until 1day, he messaged saying he was being accused of rape. I didn't know how to process this. I decided to communicate w/ him & asked him if he was comfortable speaking about the situation. He seemed offended & said nothing like that ever happened. He stated he would never put anyone in that position bc he grew up seeing his father emotionally/physically abuse his mother&sisters. He said it made him feel horrible bc I was seeing him differently. Me questioning the situation was important bc it's a serious topic & I know how difficult it is for victims to speak up. The girl was his ex & all I know is that she lied about her age, she said she was 15, he was 19 & that he coerced her into sexual relations. This girl was 15 & he was actually 16 turning 17. (she is now 21) So I'm very confused as to why she would lie about the age difference. He asked that I should not stay quiet & decide if we would continue talking. We did not end up going on our date. He sent a farewell message
I really wanted to believe him but this was a touchy subject & him thinking I did not trust him affected my feelings bc it seemed that he wanted me to ignore it. He was the first to address it & come forward. He stated they were lies &got upset when I asked if I could hear more. This entire situation hurt me. He said the allegation was false online & his friends were commenting in support saying his name shouldn't be slandered like that.
My friend still communicates w/ him since they've been friends for a while. I know he explained the situation to her but he was not willing to explain it to me
I’d appreciated feedback. I just want to get over this and know that I did not do anything wrong in questioning and making that decision.
I was talking to a guy for several months. I really cared for him& appreciated him being patient w/ me bc he knew how hard it was for me to open up. We met through a friend. We were excited to go on another date soon. Until 1day, he messaged saying he was being accused of rape. I didn't know how to process this. I decided to communicate w/ him & asked him if he was comfortable speaking about the situation. He seemed offended & said nothing like that ever happened. He stated he would never put anyone in that position bc he grew up seeing his father emotionally/physically abuse his mother&sisters. He said it made him feel horrible bc I was seeing him differently. Me questioning the situation was important bc it's a serious topic & I know how difficult it is for victims to speak up. The girl was his ex & all I know is that she lied about her age, she said she was 15, he was 19 & that he coerced her into sexual relations. This girl was 15 & he was actually 16 turning 17. (she is now 21) So I'm very confused as to why she would lie about the age difference. He asked that I should not stay quiet & decide if we would continue talking. We did not end up going on our date. He sent a farewell message
I really wanted to believe him but this was a touchy subject & him thinking I did not trust him affected my feelings bc it seemed that he wanted me to ignore it. He was the first to address it & come forward. He stated they were lies &got upset when I asked if I could hear more. This entire situation hurt me. He said the allegation was false online & his friends were commenting in support saying his name shouldn't be slandered like that.
My friend still communicates w/ him since they've been friends for a while. I know he explained the situation to her but he was not willing to explain it to me
I’d appreciated feedback. I just want to get over this and know that I did not do anything wrong in questioning and making that decision.
