Am I pedophile or a hebephile, I feel like my life is crashing down and I can’t take it?

[Anonymous]

o all of this is completely legal where I'm from, its a hundred 100% legal.

when i was 18 my ex was 15 and when we broke up i was 20 and she was 17, we thought the gap was weird at first, but no said anything and our parents were really chill about it, where she was from it was actually pretty normal. so after awhile i was like maybe the age gap was weird but our maturity levels are off and maybe dating someone younger wouldn't be that great for that reason.

now i don't know if this is because my ex warped my head or i just didn't think it was that big a deal because it was legal, i would start messaging 16-17 year old, but maybe i didn't think it was weird because of my ex and when i did feel weird, the people i would message would be like why and I've been with older guys and always reassure me. and when i would search up if it was okay, people who have been in my situation got answers like yeah don't worry it's legal and stuff. but when i asked reddit because i was high, i got called a pedophile and all of this stuff, and it makes me wanna cry i've been thinking about suicide already tonight because of another thing and this didn't help. i dont think im a pedophile it seemed normal to my girlfriend and the people i talked too. like i feel so shitty like what's wrong with me, like someone said i was sexually harassing minors. i feel so fucking shitty but it was legal and people said it was okay.

it’s not like even really know these peoples ages when I talk to them, so I really don’t know. I just feel so bad

Also I get my profile says I’m 26 but I created this account while back and I don't know I was scared to put my real age but I’m 21

[Anonymous]

You seem pretty normal to me. That's not a huge age gap anyway.

I do want you to try and be honest with yourself and check your motives.

Are you attracted to teens because they're easy to impress or even manipulate? Do you feel like you aren't good enough for the women your age so you start prowling around highschools?

Your friends and family probably know you better than even yourself let alone anyone on the internet. So the fact that they see nothing wrong with it is a good sign.

[Asker]

I probably should have like explained this better, I only dated girls my age like only, if they were a year younger than whatever, it wasn’t until my ex or when we broke up, I guess I was like it’s legal, but that being said, I only go for Girls 17 and up, I might talk to a girl if their turning 17. I don't know if that makes shitty. But that being sad, it’s only happened twice and every other girls is around my age.

[Syrian_survivor]

Bro don't go to Reddit for any kind of advice on anything in life, as an internet guru myself, I know that Reddit is one of the worst places you can go for serious matters, especially ones like this that get you so worried and worked up

The Redditor meme isn't out I'd place, it's accurate, most Redditors are very lowlife individuals that have messed up stupid minds

[Asker]

I hate that I found this out in the worst way it seems and it sucks

[Syrian_survivor]

Better now than never, good thing you found some rational people to ask here.
You want ethical advice? Go to GirlsAskGuys or Quora

Do NOT go to Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, or even Instagram, lunatics spend all their time there, people on Facebook and Twitter call it pedophilia when a dad kisses his daughter on the mouth

[friendlypelican]

you're definitely not a pedo dont worry. unless you want to molest a 5 year old you'll never be a pedo. finding younger girls attractive is really just human nature in my opinion... its kinda like when women find older men attractive. completely natural.

personally though, id cut it off at 17 if i was 21 but that just my opinion...

[genericname85]

if you're 20-21 and you like a 17 or even a 16 yo girl, you're not a hebephile. you're completely normal. individual development can wildly differ but the law can not account for that, so there must be a sort of arbitrary "cutt off" since we have no good means of detecting "maturity" in an individual. if you do also feel attracted to women your age but you happen to also find a 16 year old attractive, that is normal for your age.

[zagor]

Looking at 16-17 year olds at 21 is not an anything-phile. Social media has gotten hyper-critical about all kinds of shit like this, and sometimes just needs to be ignored. Sad that it is now possible for stupid people to blast their opinions around the world.

[Asker]

Okay that’s good to know, i think it’s just where my ex is from it was normalized like i don’t think dating a 17 is that bad. But I’ve also talked to few 17 and one 16 year old, but again it’s legal where I’m from but I don't know I feel
Horrible

[zagor]

Just don't still be fixated on that age group ten years from now...

[DirtyPervXXX]

Yeah man me too but it’s really easy to not act on your thoughts. As long as you don’t enjoy harming other people you won’t have a problem choosing not to fuck kids. Actually most pedophiles don’t ever come close to touching a child.. it’s impossible not to look but it’s very easy to not ruin a kids life

[Anonymous]

Dude. 99% of males are ehebophiles, but most will never admit it openly because of the shame and hate it will get them from females based society.

Finding females 14-18 sexually interesting is normal. We just can’t act on it.

[Asker]

Okay that’s good to know, i think it’s just where my ex is from it was normalized like i don’t think dating a 17 is that bad. But I’ve also talked to few 17 and one 16 year old, but again it’s legal where I’m from but I don't know I feel
Horrible

[Opinion Owner]

Back a couple hundred years ago, it was customary for a male in his 40-50's to ask a man for his daughters hand in marriage when she was 14-17. It's only our new gynocentric bullshit society that has made that a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

I think you took it to heart.
No it was not weird. You are not a pedophile. People just throw that label to anyone that is not them