I always need to have slightly possessive and jealous boyfriend, is that normal?

[Anonymous]

Often times I hear how jealousy and possessiveness is wrong, how bad it is for the relationship and I agree but only when it's too much, then it gets toxic even for me but most of the time whenever I date a guy or just look for a potentional boyfriend, I need him to be a little bit of both (jealous and possessive).

If he doesn't show these emotions/characteristics I feel unloved, uncared for, like he doesn't care AT ALL.
People often say it's just that they're comfortable and trust you completely but I don't think it's possible to be this comfortable.
I personally do get rather possessive, jealous not that much and it's not because I don't trust my partner, it's the possible rival whom I don't trust.

That made me wonder whether this is normal or common.
Also I'd like to quickly ask guys, what do you think about having a slightly jealous/possessive girlfriend?
A must? A turn off/on? Acceptable?

[xHoneyxBeex]

I wouldn't say this is abnormal, but that doesn't mean it's healthy or should be acceptable either. It sounds like this is coming from a place of insecurity, especially since you admit to feeling possessive and jealous yourself because you see other women as "possible rivals." If you genuinely trusted your boyfriend and felt 100% secure in yourself and your place in the relationship, there would be no reason to feel this way. I'm not sure what answer you are looking for but if you actually want to change, this is something you could explore and work on in individual therapy. The idea of going to therapy is often ridiculed but I've done it myself to address certain issues I've had and it can really help, as long as you have a good therapist. That's your decision to make though and either way, best of luck to you.

[ashish804]

yeahhh.. perfectly normal... it makes the sex for intimate 🤪

[Ironic_Method]

Sounds unhealthy, but do what works for you.

[jahaims]

Nope