Is it bad that I like how possessive my boyfriend is?

[Anonymous]

Some people say it's toxic in a relationship if a person is possessive over you. I personally like it. Is that wrong?

Possessiveness in a relationship is:

1. They can do anything they want to you (sexually) whenever they want.

2. Giving them the password to all your social media.

3. When they are clingy and want to keep you all to themselves all the time.

4. When your personal space is their personal space too; there's no such thing as personal boundaries.

5. If any person of the opposite sex flirts with you, they get extremely defensive and will want to make sure that person never talks to you again.

6. When you are out, they will text every so often to check up on you.

There's more, but you get it. I see nothing wrong with it, and I'm perfectly comfortable with everything mentioned.

[Welshman2]

You must have some serious issues if you like being controlled like this.

Possessiveness is not love - it is abuse and is now recognised as such under UK law. We have an offence here of Coercive Control and rightly so.

What will happen as the relationship develelops? I can tell you: he will isolate you from your friends and family; he will control who you can and cannot see; he will control how much money you have; and if you defy his wishes, he will hit you.

With respect you might like it and find it sweet at the moment. You are young and think this is caring and loving behaviour. Take it from an old guy, it's not.

My advice would be to end the relationship but I know you won't listen to me on that score. But please have an escape plan in place for when the violence starts, and it will start because this sort of behaviour follows a pattern.

[Duke07]

If you are ok with it then its fine. there's nothing wrong with being protective of what you have and especially in todays world where guys dont care if you have a man or not. Your boyfriend needs to be more careful in todays world. Trust helps to ease that fear though. I think there's a healthy balance. There definitely can be to much though.

[honeymoon-1]

Be careful wit the highly sensitive over possessive men they will think your cheating they will think the worst always and will end up beating you for coming home late one night.. I’m sorry it’s just be careful they seem not to be as in control of there minds as in self control and other things they lash out and then will cry and say how sorry they are and u better never leave. Set boundaries hunny u are not an object

[Angelina25]

I could have been comfortable with it if and only if you hadn't mentioned point no.2.
It is unnecessary and rude.

[Asker]

I understand it's not for everyone. But I'm curious what you think is rude about it?

[Angelina25]

I actually would love if he was that possessive (the fanfictions do that to you lol) But when it comes to having passwords to each and every social media account of yours it's taking that possessiveness to an extremity.
I'm taking it as he wanted you to give him your passwords. Isn't that like denying the most important thing to you? Privacy? He should trust you enough to know that you won't flirt with anyone behind his back.
The point he's trying to prove is that he has full control over you and doesn't even trust you enough to let you have all your social media accounts to yourself.
That is unnecessary and rude. I mean, a better word for it could be disrespectful.

[Asker]

Ah yea, that makes sense and I get where you're coming from.

But it really isn't so he feels in control or because he doesn't trust me. It's his way to talk to the guys that dm or hit me up on snapchat and instagram. He deals with them himself so that I don't have to be the one to tell them off or whatever. I don't mind it, as long as he doesn't threaten them too bad.. cause then it's just unnecessary. He has gotten into fights before cause of other guys bothering me, but that's when I draw the line. I never want it to go that far.

[Angelina25]

I mean, as long as you're good with it, it's fine.
Personally, I'd tell him that I can block them, if they bother me too much. I can't approve of it, if it ever happened to me.

[TinaSP]

not bad. you are just insecure. careful with abusive behavior if enable him too much

[Repa33]

I mean it will limit you and whatnot but if you're okay with it #StockholmSyndrome

[brendan_217]

Some girls are fine with it. But at some point don't be surprised if you feel suffocated or need more independence. Also if they get extremely jealous that's more of a sign of insecurity than anything else. It can be very toxic.

[Futurelooker]

Don´t think in such categories. You only have to feel comfortable with this. That´s it.

[wondluv27]

i dont get whats wrong with it, as long as u too are happy dont listen to people saying its toxic. its your relationship and tour decisions, they aren't gonna make them for u

[wondluv27]

your**

[Anonymous]

A height of a man's insecurity is being a control freak. Unfortunately many women (including you) mistake this as strong masculine assertiveness/confidence. It's not, trust me. He's the type that can get violent and dangerous when things don't go the way he wants.

Your emotions like this, but doesn't mean it's good.

[SirRexington]

It's a little excessive. In moderation it's good, such as texting every so often and feeling weird when another person hits on you. But the others are a bit overboard.

[BaileyisDarcy]

As long as he's not taking liberties that he shouldn't be...

If you're happy and he's happy, then alls well.

[Drooogie4]

I guess whatever you like is what you like.
That sounds like my nightmare.

[Honglitha]

Then it ain't matter if you ain't feel bothered with it. As long as you feel comfortable with it then just be with him

[hotstuffSRD]

😂😂😂 LOL
I guess you're way too submissive or something like that
It's fine until it works only for one of you

[BlackSunAeon8]

It’s bad that you feel the need to ask this. Doesn’t matter what people think it’s about how you feel about it.

[Anonymous]

What you're feeling is normal.

You're going to learn the hard way why people with experience keeps telling you it's toxic.

[daniel70]

You will change i promise but in general some people like to be dominated

[Cammy137]

Whatever works for a couple is what works

[BigRob420]

Only when he doesn't let you do the same.

[opurba]

Nope, both of u r happy then y ask third-party.

[StickStickity13]

I guess if you're okay with it

[Night996]

No it's not bad but it makes it stronger

[NerdInDenial]

Nope

[2opaz]

Yeah