What has your experience on the Bumble dating app been like?

[AmandaYVR]

Inspired by @DarkCarousel comments recently, "Girls Don't Know What They Want [in Relationships]": The Real Reasons Behind This Male-Created Myth
I am curious what your experiences have been like on Bumble. I'm asking about this app in particular because ladies message first.

❤ Guys, have you been enjoying this different dynamic?

❤ Girls, how tough is it to be taking the lead for a change? Does it make you sympathize with guys typically having to reach out?

❤ Are you finding the dynamic has any more weight to it, creating less churn, perhaps, and somewhat more serious engagement?

I do not believe full anonymity is warranted for the majority of topics but I'm keeping the option available on this question for you to speak frankly and freely.

[stargazeraug1989]

I love it. I have had nothing but stellar experiences with the women I've met on Bumble. That being said, considering women have to message the men first, it is nice to see women clearly struggling to craft that first message in light of the fact that they frequently lampoon men for being unoriginal and lazy when messaging online. Most of them are even worse than the guys. 😂

[DarkCarousel]

Me (attempting to not just say 'hi'): "Hey there! I see you like star gazing! Is the aug at the end of your screen name an indicator of an August birthday? Or is it a reference to augury and the interpretation of omens?"

Him: "OK Clinger."

*unmatches*

Haha I get what you are saying! Some will be responsive to your (my) awkard initial opening and some will not.

This is great information!

[AmandaYVR]

@DarkCarousel Omg that was great 😂
Dang, girl, I'd totally hit you back with that. I think you got game!

[AmandaYVR]

You sound like a lot of fun. You're upbeat, appreciative, and have a few tricks up your sleeve for hobbies. Flying, being one. That's a score for sure. You must describe yourself as the adventurous, fun-loving type.

[stargazeraug1989]

Flying?

[stargazeraug1989]

How do you know t...
Ah. I see. I know you. Sneak. 😂

[AmandaYVR]

Shhhhh

[MysticDevice]

It was like the scene in 28 Days Later when the protagonist wakes up in England and its totally empty. Except for a few survivors who have gone complete psycho.

[AmandaYVR]

lolol 👌

[VanillaSalt]

Eloquently put.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have used online dating on several occasions since 2007. I have used match, POF, 4marks (Catholic dating site which apparently is now defunct,) a now defunct Lutheran site, zoosk, and bumble. I usually used two sites at the same time, but not more.

I date women in my age range so my comments are applicable only to women who are 50+, but they may apply to other age ranges. The women on Bumble tend to be more sophisticated, more confident, and more receptive to dating overtures. Initially, Bumble was frustrating because there was mush less activity with contacts and messaging. I was using it at the recommendation of @coachTanthony and I initially questioned his recommendation.

However, eventually I actually preferred using Bumble because, although I could not initiate the contact, when a woman DID reach out, she was far more likely to be a serious contender for dating. And there were virtually no scammers!

I dated several women from Bumble and I would still be using Bumble if I had not already found a good woman for an LTR. I also had generally good results with zoosk and would use that again, also.

[AmandaYVR]

Good summary. Thanks!

[coachTanthony]

Hey Thanks and I am happy for ya man!

[coachTanthony]

I use bumble for all my clients. Bumble states... it's time for women to make the first move but they failed miserably on that notion. A first move is someone asking someone to dinner or out on a date not saying "HI" through a message on a dating app.

That isn't a "MOVE" or even leading... that is just the way the app is set up so guys don't even see it as if they are making a move. Women can literally just say "Whats up" on Bumble... men don't care. Men are just happy they said hello after they matched.

Bumble is also a very good app unlike Tinder because they take care of the bad actors removing people who are breaking policy. Men should upgrade if they can afford it because once you get the beeline you can see who has swiped on you. I like efficiency and my time is valuable.

I don't have time to swipe and most of my clients don't either as busy professionals. People who refuse to upgrade have to understand that dating apps are a business first and foremost. You get what you pay for or in this case... not pay for.

[DarkCarousel]

From the female perspective, it's very common to see either of these two things on a guy's bio:
"Anything you want to know, just ask! Just say hi."
Or
"Be interesting. Don't just say hi."

I have see the latter more frequently. Perhaps I'm not interpreting it correctly. Maybe it's that he doesn't just want, "Hi" and send. Maybe he's ok with, "Hi, it's great to match with you. How's your day going so far" just to open that line of conversation.

You're right though about the Bumble fail. It is marketed as girls making the first move but that is definitely asking for a date. Noted!

[coachTanthony]

@DarkCarousel I will say Bumble is great for women. Most of my female clients came to me frustrated from all the messages they got on other sites and apps. Bumble puts the woman in charge of all that which is great because she gets to choose who she wants to speak too even after matching.

[SomeBlondeChick]

@coachTanthony - I've yet to see anything appealing about Bumble. Either from the dating side or the business side. Photos & barely any information. Sure it's not a sugar daddy/baby site?

[coachTanthony]

@SomeBlondeChick Okay. It's a great app I know it inside and out and own stock in it. Sorry you don't like it. To each their own. Good luck to you.

[ShadezMcgee]

When I used it, it was stagnate or low results despite profile tweaking and good pictures. I would say I had more matches on Tinder than Bumble, but the matches were typically the same mainly for validation or followers on social media to go with the stereotype single moms or the women that were not ones who were close to what they wanted in a match.

Most girls that matched on Bumble, despite needing to make the first move would not and would leave their other social media like IG or Snapchat to get you to reach out to them, but if you did that it was a guarantee to be filled with other guys that did the same thing, so not worth giving her clout. They still expected you as the man to make the first move, but can't unless they reached out first. That was annoying. 24 hours for a match and even then it was never a guarantee.

Very frustrating because you are already in there with a sea of dudes compared to a basket of women ifnwe want to talk about dating app user ratios. Waste of time and better off finding a woman in person to connect with.

[AmandaYVR]

Wow that was super interesting.
Those little buggers, they figured out a workaround!
"You sneaky mommy!" as the Halloween candy-stolen kid says on Kimmel.

[DarkCarousel]

Really good point, @ShadezMcgee

@AmandaYVR That was something that I did not mention on the previous comments-- On Bumble, you can link your Instagram and/or Snapchat as Shadez mentioned here. I have seen A LOT of guys link their other social media, which I find very odd (for both genders to do, by the way). I don't want a bunch of strangers all up in my private life.
I am almost 100% certain to skip over someone who has their social media linked to their dating profile. For the the reason that Shadez mentioned (it's filled with other guys/girls that also tried to connect through social media) AND because I'm more "old school"(?) about my social media usage. I have facebook but I use it similar to email, not like a constant live feed of my life.

Anyway, the link from Bumble to other social apps is odd for me.

[ZackBan]

Bumble was my entry point into the online dating world.
I had my first kiss on a bumble date but it ended badly with the girl. And a couple of more flops came after.

Problem with bumble is that most girls are on there because they think tinder is only for hookups. But at the same time they don't really have their lives together and are looking for a stable relationship. So they find themselves in an indecisive in between where they neither want a casual relationship nor a committed on and het here they are on that app meeting strangers.

This is why I moved to tinder later when I moved to Paris: on tinder you meet women who want all kinds of things but at least they are somewhat upfront about it. They will telll you if they are looking for a hookup or a husband right from the start.

Personally I'm not ready for a commited relationship and I know it however I do want to enjoy life and share a few good memories with someone, so I make it very clear on Tinder and it has gotten a decent amount of success in the short time I've used it.

[AmandaYVR]

Well explained. Thanks for commenting 👌

[mk200195]

My experience as a guy in India:


A fair number of matches, most of which expired without the woman contacting me.
With the ones that did contact me, they usually had lame boring intros like “hey” or “how was your weekend” or other predictable stuff.
I would always reply with a wholehearted response, you know, the type of engaging response that a human being would have. Asking questions, commenting on things in their profile, etc. 75% percent of the time they would never write back. But some did, and 75% of those ended after the second back and forth.
I can’t believe how bad women are at carrying on a conversation. It’s quite mind blowing to me as a male raised to think women were somehow more “evolved” than men. In my opinion 95% of women on that app either have no intention of actually meeting someone, or are so incapable of a normal conversation that they are doomed to repeat the same mistakes Over and over with men.


Many, many women’s profiles have all this bullshit about “chivalry being dead” and “being treated like a lady” and “must be at least xx feet tall to date”, etc etc. Good luck at ever meeting a man that satisfies you. No self respecting mature man will engage with a woman who sees men as someone who needs to Measure up to their standards so the woman may “select him” as their winning suitor. What a bunch of bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I decided to try and see what the dating scene was like last year and then the pandemic hit and was very disappointed.

I absolutely hated trying to communicate with guys on all the popular apps. Most of the time I'd always initiate (when not on bumble) with the few guys I matched with and their communication skills were sorely lacking. I felt like I had to carry the conversations and that they had no real interest in getting to know me. I asked out all the guys I ended up meeting with and never had a 2nd date. Online dating has been a negative experience for me personally but I know many who have experience great success and even met their spouses through it. I think it all depends on personality because I'm an in person kind of person and I felt like trying to connect and find some sort of chemistry through texts was very difficult on my end with the guys I ended up talking to.
I dont want to nag about what I found wrong with ththe guys on those apps so I'll just say it only works for people who enjoy communicating over text rather than face to face.
I travel and so my experience isn't limited to just one area either so that's why I determined it's definitely not for me but I wish others success in their ventures.

[Adam1978]

Completely worthless. As a guy I can't actually do anything, yet the app is still bothering and complaining that your not active. After a week or so I just uninstalled and deleted the account. The women who did match never bothered sending a message anyway.

[DarkCarousel]

That's unfortunate!! It seems like there should be an option for you to message them (if you'd like).

[Adam1978]

But then it would be a regular dating site. So the whole idea was to reverse the roles. That is why I don't get the whole nagging app idea, it's just bad implementation. Unless I have an action waiting such as replying to a message or swipe a like. There should not be any reminders to me as a user.

[AmandaYVR]

Good point. Bad implementation.

[DarkCarousel]

Yes, good point. I will tell you, if I swipe right and I match with him, I'm definitely reaching out. There was only one time where I was really busy with life and didn't catch that I matched with someone. After 24 hours, you're no longer able to message them. That's unfortunate.

[Adam1978]

Yes that time limit is too short, a week would have been better. Especially for the men, who is idle and rarely get any matches. Who isn't orbiting their phones all the time, just in case.

[Drumlin2001]

I used various sites with varying success. I decided to try Bumble as i thought the hange in dynamic may make for a different experience (had git a little tired of typing out intro's and opening questio s to get no replies).
In general i found it a lot of work. I worked in London, commuted from Kent (about 30miles south of London) So had quite a wide area that is was looking within, there were plenty of people. I only really wanted to swipe in people who i thought i wohod actually wanted to meet to took time to read through. Anyway, a few messaged, some ghosted quite quickly, one no showed for a date. Met a lovely woman who let slip on first date that she didn't want any more kids (a dealbreaker at the time for me). But i did meet my OH. We now have 2 kids, planning our future. It can work, if you invest time. There is a bit of luck about it too. Connecting to the right person at the right time

[FoxnEagle]

My experience has been
- about half the profiles are "add me on snap/insta"
- there is a Profile Prompt for "If I had an extra hour each day I would..." and 90% of the time I see the answer "sleep."
- a good portion of matches start out with one word and never change from one word responses

All-in-all, it feels about the same as any other dating app, just slightly less work for me since I don't send the first message.

[BCA6010]

Way back when I tried to use Bumble, my profile picture got reported and banned because it "promoted violence." The picture was just a regular profile shot with a visible (fake, not that it matters) zebra rug in the background. So I terminated my account with those idiots before ever really using it.

[Anonymous]

Only had a few matches (having been on it collectively for some time). Most have timed out and they never messaged me. The few that did, just said "Hey" (women complain about guys doing this, yet they do it), you respond and they don't write you back! lol

[21Cowboy21]

Bad. We match and then nothing happens because they want the guy to take the lead - but app does not allow. Its self defesting.

[21Cowboy21]

I also find the pickup game lines from woman pretty bland most times. But not a deal breaker anyway - just find it interesting that they always mock men for not going way overboard with a creative opening then every time they themselves just write Hi or Hey. And thats it.

[AmandaYVR]

Very interesting.
And not surprising.

[Avicenna]

Although they contact you, they just say „hi“, and expect you to take it from there. Which is Fine, because Im used to that anyway.
I did have a lot of nice dates from women I met on there.

[Anonymous]

I was using bumble, and the bee stung me. Well, not really. And I didn't actually use bumble either.

[AmandaYVR]

lol. Been holding that one in your pocket for a while now, have you? 😜

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I advise against holding bumble bee in your pocket, however. Some important things can get stung.

[Jamie05rhs]

I talked to a girl on Bumble recently. Her first message was "Hi.". That's it; just "Hi."
I was not offended or disappointed. I didn't make any assumptions about a lack of intellect on her part. I simply saw it as a cordial greeting, and I responded in kind. Thus commenced a lovely conversation.

[DarkCarousel]

Good to know! Thanks for your input

[Jamie05rhs]

@DarkCarousel You're very welcome!

[Ironic_Method]

I've been enjoying Bumble, but the whole women talking first doesn't really do much as 90% of them just say "hey".

[Anonymous]

I keep hitting the X. ... When there is barely any profile information and 3 to 12 photos as if models it seems more like a "dating app" based on looks than anything worth value.

[FoxnEagle]

3 to 12 photos?
I'd say 25% of the women's profiles are a single photo and a name!

Let's just collectively agree on a minimum amount of information before a profile can be shown...

[VanillaSalt]

Dating apps are a scam for guys. Tinder for example charges $15 for males but $5 for females... then you get ghosted or ignored... I’m not paying to not deal with women. I do that free every day.

[Feelicks]

Hmm, I got a bit of interest but not from anyone I was into.

[Hanrej]

Made probably around 100 matches but only two had the guts to take initiative. 😅

Girls lack in that way.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't any different. Even on the occasional match they don't say anything, even less than on other apps.

[robocop666]

I put a post asking about this asking about dating sites and bumble

[Slim57]

It sucks. 90% of women match with you and don't say a word. Tinder it's expected, Bumble you would think maybe since they have the first move, but no.

[Redstang88]

Complete waste of time for me. Think I managed to get 1 phone number in my time on bumble, and she flaked before we set anything up
I’ll stick to tinder

[Anonymous]

Was on there for over a year liked over 60% of the profiles I saw. I got one match and she never even said hello.

[Shark_61695]

Whole lot of nothing. Better than others but I'm still not feeling optimistic about it :)

[legalboxers]

Horrible!! Tinder is worse! Im about to give up on dating (or shall I say go back to giving up).. she dont exist...

[sixtyeightplusone]

social engineering is stupid and ends up reinforcing the stereotypes that became stereotypes for good reason

[AmandaYVR]

Well that's pissy.

[friendzoned4life]

I have only had messages there are no more profiles for me to swipe while it says I have 1 possible match.

Somehow I never get that match

[TheDarkWolfSif]

So far, one match that ghosted me without even talking to me.

[krin_m]

I have not actively dated for a long time (since I'm in two committed relationships), so I could not say!

[Anonymous]

I don't use such apps but my friends do and all of them say girls there are so insecure and below average.

And they're also clingy and obsessive.

[COMMODOREII]

App didn't work on my pad so i unstalled it.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Never used an app for dating, so i have no idea

[anon1903]

I'll gladly make the first move.

[anon1903]

Sorry, wrong question.

[Iron_Man]

Never been on there how much do they charge

[AmandaYVR]

?
@coachTanthony
@DarkCarousel

[DarkCarousel]

It's free. @coachTanthony suggested the paid version so you can see who has swiped on you.

[Iron_Man]

@DarkCarousel That’s not really free if you can’t see who liked you or left you a message?

[DarkCarousel]

To clarify-- You can see who swiped on you if you also swipe right on them.

You'd have to pay to see who swiped right on you before matching with them.

[Iron_Man]

@DarkCarousel how about Christian mingles is that good?
I take that for a place of marriage?

[DarkCarousel]

@Iron_Man I don't have any experience with Christian Mingle.
Maybe the coach does? @coachTanthony

[Iron_Man]

@DarkCarousel OK thank you for helping me

[coachTanthony]

@Iron_Man Christian Mingle and all these apps and sites cost money if you want them to work. They are businesses first and foremost and aren't in it for charity. So I don't know much about christian mingle but if you want to get the best experience then you have to invest in the app.

[Iron_Man]

Obviously you pay for what you get I was just curious to see if they’re even worth paying for. I’ve heard some sites there’s a lot of bots on there

[MrPlentiful]

I dont use dating apps

[msc545]

I don't know - never used it.

[Lynx122]

I've never used it.

[scott04sa22]

Didn't work for me

[scott04sa22]

I never get matches. My outsides looks just chase them off and they hide for cover

[princeofromance]

Horrible

[rajcuckold]

Not bad