Why should you forget about girls?

[Anonymous]

I just dont understand. Yes, I agree its very important to love yourself. Back in my high school days I was obsessed about not having a girlfriend. For about 8 years I had to completely focus on myself, with work, hobbies, books etc. But how could you NOT forget about girls? Thats impossible. So its bad to like a girl now? I thought it was human nature to like the opposite sex, so why do you have to not think about girls and focus on your career/purpose? For some reason when people say "don't think about girls, focus on you, it'll happen when you're not thinking about it", and when people say "stop looking", it just makes think I have to close myself off from society or even avoid/suppress interest in girls. I can't stop thinking about that movie Joker, thats what it feels like to me. im probably overthinking this way too much but I admit I did meet a girl recently and im trying to get to know her. didn't ask her out yet but im planning to. I certainly don't think about her all the time but she is cute, no doubt about that. I already know her name but I'd like to get to know her more. What do you think?

[Truthatanycost]

Your purpose should be your main priority, not girls. it takes discipline to do this. That has nothing to do with suppressing your interest in girls, or shutting yourself off from society. When you discover your purpose, you don't even have time for girls.

[Asker]

My purpose should be practicing things ie hobbies social skills etc.

[Truthatanycost]

You are confusing purpose with hobbies and social interests.

[Asker]

What is a purpose? you're saying I can't talk to girls until I have a purpose? ok then. Im ignoring them for the next 10 years

[Truthatanycost]

No, I'm saying that finding, and working on our purpose should be priority over chasing girls.

[Asker]

Maybe I have to wear a chastity belt or join an incel community if I have to forget about girls.

[DevylasArsaukas76]

because you need to be your own man first and foremost, focus on your goals, your life, how you plan to live it, and soon enough you will be the right man for some lucky lady, but don't sell your soul in exchange for a girlfriend or wife, work on yourself, be the best you can be, and women will start to notice, but it'll take time, many things are a process, good luck

[Asker]

So is it wrong to think a girl is cute?

[DevylasArsaukas76]

no absolutely not, attraction is part of human nature, but don't let it consume you, you can think she's cute but also, think about what you could bring to the table, if you don't have much then add some things, if you want to win her favor demonstrate to her how you're a desirable match, otherwise you'll lose your chance and other guys will have her favor, it's competition out there, but if you really want this person, put in the effort for it, but don't become obsessed, many girls detest obsession, so if you go about it the right way you should be fine, and start out small,

[Asker]

Its just that saying "stop looking" and how women shouldn't be a main focus sounds a bit misogynistic. I hope I dont become an incel like those communities you see on Reddit. It's horrible.

[DevylasArsaukas76]

how is it misogynistic though? you think a woman is going to want a man who feels sorry for themselves, complains, isn't comfortable with his own life, and has nothing going on, telling others to focus on themselves isn't sexist at all

[DevylasArsaukas76]

I'm saying you got to be the right man for yourself first, if you want to be the right man for her

[Asker]

Dont get me wrong, i want to be a better person

[DevylasArsaukas76]

and you can be, it's in your power, but a women isn't just going to automatically make you a better person, that has to come from within yourself, no one else can do it for you

[Asker]

I know. I just want to be a confident person, sure a woman isn't going to solve all my problems but it would be nice to talk to girls I see instead of ignoring them all the time

[Ms_Vanderquack]

Does anyone understand what the fuck this guy is talking about?

[ChrisMaster69]

@ms_vanderquack oh not just me then

[ChrisMaster69]

Sorry but my eyes are bleeding, what are you actually trying to ask.

KEEP IT TO 4 lines of easy to understand bollox please.

[Asker]

Why do people say "stop looking"?

[boggboss]

Wait what are u axtully asking i think what people mean is thinking about a women shouldn't be your main focus

[Asker]

I mean why do people say that you'll meet someone when you "stop looking"?