Are there any advantages of dating a younger man? If so what are they?

[Anonymous]

[Adam_West]

do not behave him as a child
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[Avicenna]

I have to laugh a bit about the claims of there supposedly being better sex one has with younger men, because this probably varies greatly from person to person. My sex drive is the same as it was when I was in my 20s (I have sex daily when I'm in a relationship, sometimes multiple times). And this dynamic may also be affected by your respective ages.

In my experience, a large number of the women looking for younger guys are narcissists (I'm not saying you are).

At the end of the day, we date individuals, and some younger guys might be suitable partners for you because they're compatible with you, and to me, compatibility is the primary reason to date someone since we're only going to be truly compatible with a relatively small number of people, many of whom may themselves already be in relationships.

As someone who sometimes dates considerably younger women, I can tell you the primary issue (and it's part of compatibility), is your respective maturity levels, which don't always align with age. They don't have to be identical, but they have to be acceptable to both of you.

[Asker]

I'm not looking to date younger men. I just get approached by a lot of younger men. Up until very recently I'd always just write them off because they were so much younger then me (and I was worried about the maturity gap and life stage gap thing). However, recently I've been thinking maybe I should give it a shot. I mean, relationships I've had with guys my age and older haven't worked out. Maybe giving a younger guy a try would be good.

[Avicenna]

I don't see a problem with dating a much younger guy; however, you'd of course want to filter out the ones just looking for hookups and flings. Even the ones who may want a relationship may lack an understanding of how to handle things in one due to their relative inexperience.

When I was in my 20s, I personally would not have felt truly comfortable with anything more than sex with a much older woman.

I assume you don't have kids. If so, that makes it a lot easier to date someone much younger.

[Asker]

How do I filter out the ones who are just looking for flings? Also, how do you think I should best handle the ones "who may want a relationship may lack an understanding of how to handle things in one due to their relative inexperience"? Should I just move on from them? Should I give them a real shot? If so how much of a shot? How common is it to find younger guys who do have decent experience on how to handle things in a relationship? Is there any way to tell who those younger guys are?
I know I'm asking a lot of questions, but I've been going back and forth about this a lot and I'm really trying to figure out what the best thing is to do.

[Asker]

Also, I actually do have two daughters (13 and 14 years old). I'm not sure why you thought I didn't have kids (I'm not mad. I'm just not sure where you got that from). I actually do tell younger guys who hit on me that I'm a mom. It scares some of them away, but a fair amount are still interested (at least in my experience)

[Avicenna]

By "younger", what age range are you talking about?

It's not always obvious right away that they're just looking for sex, but many, if not most, give themselves away by focusing on your physical appearance and/or talking about sex (this is feedback from women I've gone on dates with). I'd make it clear on a first date or when you're talking to each other prior to the first date, that you won't have sex until you've known someone awhile, say 2-3 months.

Being a guy, I can't tell you for sure how often younger guys are experienced enough to deal with the ups and downs and communication requirements of a relationship, but presumably at least some of them are. I'd recommend asking them what they're looking for in a relationship, how they'd handle certain scenarios and get a feel for their overall maturity and philosophy on life.

I would advise moving on from anyone who clearly lacks the requisite life and relationship experience needed to make things work for you. To give an example from my own life, when I was 46/47, I dated a 30 year old woman who had been living at home almost her entire life. It was painfully obvious when we moved in together that she had no idea what it was like to be outside of her father's thumb, and her maturity level was approximately that of a 16 year old. This wasn't someone who just needed to have a few things explained to her (she was also a financial disaster).

[Asker]

I'm talking about 10-16 years younger (I'm 40 by the way)
Do you think if they just gave a few compliments on my appearance (ex- you're really attractive, you're eyes are really pretty, I couldn't help but notice you) that would be OK? I get that if they over focus it's a bad sign, but do you think a flirtatious comment about physical attraction here or there is fine (or not so much)?
How soon do you think I should ask them "what they're looking for in a relationship, how they'd handle certain scenarios and get a feel for their overall maturity and philosophy on life"? First date? Second date? Third date? Some other point? I get those are questions I need to ask, but I don't want to ask too soon.
I totally agree with the 'no sex for 2-3 months' thing by the way. It would likely help weed out guys who just want to get in my pants.

[Avicenna]

Well, your girls are old enough that the guys won't be spending any time around them. I assumed you didn't have any since you didn't initially mention that. That does affect things a bit because a younger guy who doesn't have experience with taking care of younger siblings probably isn't going to be understanding about you having to take care of a household that involves kids and other aspects of being a parent. It's too hard for them to comprehend- they're looking for a good time and to spend as much time with a girlfriend as possible, including at her place (not recommended in your case).

[Asker]

That's another thing. I'm not looking to just 'have a good time'. I'm looking for real commitment. That's one of the major reasons why (up until very recently) I just would not consider going out with these younger guys who approach me. I also need someone who understands, supports, and respects the duties I have as a single parent. I also need to find a guy that would be good for my girls. I just didn't think a younger guy would fit that so I didn't give them the time of day.
However, recently I've been thinking maybe I'm being too quick to judge them all. I'm sure there are quite a few like that, but (to be honest) there are men my age and older I've dated who were like that as well. Also, since I haven't given many of these guys a real chance maybe I'm passing up on one of them who would be like that and is a great match for me.

[Avicenna]

I have never complimented a woman I was interested in on her appearance, and it tells me that they don't know how to approach women- you don't set yourself apart by telling her what you tell every woman and what she hears from most guys anyway. It's understood they find you attractive or they wouldn't be hitting on you. That said, one compliment as an icebreaker shouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker, but a focus on your attractiveness just indicates that they're looking for a hookup or a fling. He should be able to carry a convo without resulting to a bunch of compliments about your appearance.

I would discuss these things on a first date at the latest. You don't want to waste your time with someone who either doesn't know what he wants or wants something other than what you want. That sort of frank convo is not going to scare any mature person off.

[Asker]

You've been super helpful! Just one more question I have: when do you think the whole "kids" thing should be brought up? I'm asking because that can be a major issue in age gap relationships. I'd actually love to have 1 or 2 more kids (the only reason I never had more is my ex husband didn't want more). However, I'm not sure how likely it is I get pregnant. I haven't gone through any sort of menopause, but I am on the edge of the age where women can get pregnant (if I can). I also think I'd probably only be able to have 1 more kid. I'm not saying 2 would be impossible, but it would be a stretch.
I'm just not sure where that would fit in with these guys' plans for kids. I'm sure we should communicate about it, but I'm not sure when. Asking early on seems too forward to me, but I obviously don't want to ask too late.

[Avicenna]

Here’s how I think you should address it- ask him if he wants to have kids once it’s clear interest is serious on both your part and his as far as a relationship goes. I think it’s better to be direct about these things.

Don’t underestimate your fertility- I got a 44 year old woman pregnant last year (accidentally). Make sure you have him wear a condom unless you’re trying to get pregnant.

I think there is one other thing you need to be careful about, and that is a guy potentially wanting access to your daughters, I. e, dating you to get to your daughters. Don’t let him meet them until you’re completely comfortable with him. He also should not be alone with them.

[Gpoogainisss]

Maybe it's just your personality.

[lovelyleo]

I have never noticed any advantages and maybe I haven't gone younger enough. Too much younger is just too much for me, but I don't judge anyone else. 30-year-olds do not have better sex drives that I've noticed. It's really going to depend on you in that person.

I think for you younger will be better because you want to have more children. Having more children may be something that someone younger is more willing to do. I think that you could find someone closer to your age also that is willing to have more children though.

[kyleelyn199723]

That depends. Personally I am 23 and don’t see any advantages of me dating somebody younger than my current age. If it’s a 40 year old woman dating someone that is 30 , maybe she will have a better sex life, more fun welcomed into her life, maybe she will be able to mold this guy into a better person because she is more wise (maybe). Maybe he will be more inclined to get married because he is at the age where men start to settle

[Asker]

How do you think she could 'mold this guy into a better person'? What would she do to do that (I know you can't list everything, but maybe just give a few examples to give me a better idea of what exactly you're referring to)

[kyleelyn199723]

For example, I date a 32 year old. I know he has more life experience than me and will listen to advice on certain situations and they have made me a better person and more wise when I walk into certain situations. Maybe advice on work life, finances, debt, dealing with stress/every day life events, cleanliness, maybe even a skill. There’s always something to be learned.

[Asker]

I suppose that could be good to a certain extent, but I don't want to feel like his mom. I guess if I could impart a certain level of wisdom for improvement but also don't feel like I'm his mom (or something like unto it) then it could be a good thing

[kyleelyn199723]

It’s not about feeling like his mother, it’s about having wisdom to give , which at 40 you should have a great extent of. That is expected pretty much if you are dating somebody younger.

[kyleelyn199723]

Like my boyfriend is not a father to me thankfully but he knows a thing or two being in large amounts of debt. He helped me understand credit cards better, and he teaches me cooking since he used to be a chef

[Medlife]

I've always had great experiences with younger men and when I say younger I mean 19 to about 33. After that I am not a fan. Men that approach me and are older than 35 are just sad. They complain all the time. And seek me as their own recovery center. Sorry not interested. Just because u had hard life it doesn't mean u can dump on everyone around you. You are responsible for how u deal with your trauma, not me. So yes to younger men they still believe in happy endings 🥰

[Asker]

Within that 19-34 year range what do you think is the ideal age for you personally (generally speaking)?

[Medlife]

Ideal for what exactly. Be specific

[Asker]

The ideal age range for you. I know you prefer guys 19-33, but within that range do you prefer guys 30-33 or 20-25 or 19-122 (for example)?

[Medlife]

You need to be specific as to what they are ideal for. Dating? Playing? Drinking? Sleeping with? All ages are different and they are all better at something

[Asker]

How about
1. Casual sexual encounter
2. Casual sexual relationship (if it's different from just a one night stand)
3. Serious relationship.

[Medlife]

1. 19 to 25
2. 20 to 23
3. 25 to 33

[hellionthesagereborn]

The only one I can think of is that once a woman starts to get older her estrogen levels drop which in turn means her testosterone levels get higher resulting in a signficant increase in her sex drive. A younger guy has high testosterone and could probably match that sex drive. Beyond that, I don't think their would be any advantages dating a younger guy and a lot more pitfalls.

[ohshee]

When I was 15 and 1/2 16 years old I meant A lady that was in her forties and she absolutely seem to love it we were together for a year and then she told me she was getting back with her husband I didn't even know that she was married but she had to do some cute as a friend of hers he was going to be turning 40 I don't know what the advantages were except for we both had tons of fun and lots of it and that's with both women

[Iron_Man]

The maturity level is way off from yours and what can they offer you? Men that are young are more active and and live on the edge of Life they don't want to settle down and to be tamed and relax and sit at home and watch television and get on the computer they want to go out and and to experience action action acton of all kinds

[Asker]

Well, in one way that might be an advantage for me. I have a lot of energy and I find a lot of guys my age can't keep up with me in that regard. I constantly want to go out and not just sit at home.
However, I also am looking for a committed relationship, so the not 'settling down' could be a problem for me.

[Iron_Man]

I'm talking about Daredevil stuff and chasing g fresh women.

[Asker]

I'm sorry, I don't know what you mean by "Daredevil stuff" and/or "chasing g fresh women". Could you please explain what you mean by that?

[Iron_Man]

skateboarding extreme sports parachuting jumping off of a cliff into the water mountain climbing daredevil bicycling etc. etc.

[Iron_Man]

Plus young guys like to chase a lot of women

[tzdc21]

Immaturity. But the sane can be said for men dating younger girls too. Also you'll have to deal with the higher sex drive.

[Ninjazzed]

No but I can name many disadvantages.

-Little empathy
-Childishness
-Whorish
-Won’t commit to you
-Worst attention span

[crazy8000]

One is that your maturity level most likely gonna match with his.

An other could be the sexual part.

Also more likely to be less damaged from female's before you.

[Browneye57]

His dick gets hard.
But you can find one your age that does too. So other than that, there isn't anything.
:)

[more_than_a_guy]

Libido, energetic, makes you feel young, not all young guys are immature, he won't take you granted, passionate...

[ACupOfT]

Respect your advice and opinion more.
Also tend to look better and be more energetic

[Anonymous]

Sex drive and they will be able to take care of you when you get older.

[Libbers]

Able to get an erection. Lol.

[Asker]

How much easier do you think it is for younger guys to get erections? Also, do those erections last or go out fast?

[Turtleneck22]

Lmao. This could be true. But they do make a pill for that.

[Asker]

@Turtleneck22 True, but it makes me feel a lot more sexy/confident/attractive when the guy gets the erection just by looking/being with you as opposed to needing a pill to get that level of excitement with you. For me personally it does make a difference in how confident/sexy I feel with my partner.

[Turtleneck22]

I agree. Sometimes it takes two to get an erection.

[Asker]

@Turtleneck22 what do you mean 'it takes two'? Two of what?

[Turtleneck22]

Meaning you a female to cause me the male to get an erection.

[Asker]

@Turtleneck22 Yes I know. What I'm saying is it makes a big difference in how sexy I feel if it just 'takes two' and not 'three' (the third being the pill he's taking). If he has to take a pill to get excited by me it makes me feel very un-sexy

[Hotboy_booblover]

Yes better sex.. more no of erections per hour.. quicker reerections.. more stamina.. more curious

[WowwGirl]

Omg so many. One being sex drive

[Asker]

What makes a younger man's sex drive an advantage?

[WowwGirl]

You have sex much more

[Asker]

What about the quality though? Quality is more important than quantity for me

[WowwGirl]

Awesome

[WowwGirl]

I don't think I'll date older again

[WowwGirl]

And they aren't as jaded = more respect and trust towards women

[Asker]

Why don't you think you'll ever date older again?

[WowwGirl]

Because younger is so much better and fun

[Asker]

Could you tell me specifically why you think younger is "better" and "more fun"? Is it the larger amount of sex, them being less jaded, and being more respectful towards women? Is there more to it then that? If so what is it?

[anylolone]

Same advantages of dating a younger woman.

[Asker]

what are those?

[anylolone]

Use your empathetic drive and logic?

What's the advantages of older people?
Certainly it's not that for younger people.

[moviedude714]

Nothing wrong with this

[Turtleneck22]

So why you asking. You looking for younger. ?

[Asker]

I actually get approached by a lot of younger guys. I used to be completely dismissive of it, but I'm starting to consider whether or not I should give it a real shot with a younger guy.

[Turtleneck22]

Why not what do you have to loose.

[Asker]

Just because I want to date someone with my same maturity level and compatible life goals. However, maybe it isn't fair that I judge that he's 'too immature' without giving him a real chance. However, if I gave all the younger guys that approach me 'a chance' I'd be giving out a lot of chances. But at the same time if I don't give him/them 'a chance' maybe I'd miss out on something great.
There's a lot of back and forths I have with this

[Turtleneck22]

Well good luck with which ever route you go.

[Leavesbound]

Greater libido.