Would you date a woman in her 30s knowing that she might have a hard time getting pregnant due to her age?

Question

This "amazing" "woman" here on G@G, I won't mention her name, pointed out that MEN ONLY WANT FERTILE WOMEN, and that's what they will chase after.
So basically us "childless" 30 something women are just useless Junk, we're not worth dating or marrying or whatever, because after 30 it gets more difficult to get pregnant.
Would it be a dealbreaker for you guys? Seriously speaking... what happens if you find out that your woman can't concieve for various health reasons. Would you just drop her and find somebody else? Or if you just MET an amazing woman, woman of your dreams but she tells you that she has her ovaries removed due to an accident, DO YOU DROP HER?

I'm prepared to get shocked... I have a feeling that y'all will literally ruin my day.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Personally, I've pretty indifferent to the thought of having kids. Like I'm not against it or anything and I'd be more than happy to have them, but at the same time I think my life could be pretty good without them. So if I'm into the girl I'm into the girl. If it turns out she can't have kids for some reason, I'm not going to drop her just for that. On the other hand I don't want to adopt kids. So if she can't have kids AND she really wants to adopt, THAT could be a dealbreaker. Also, if she can't have kids and that makes her miserable, that would certainly be a problem if she can't get over it.

Having said all of that, the reptile part of my brain is still going to be very physically attracted to a hot girl who has the VISIBLE SIGNS of being fertile and being able to conceive and carry a child easily. So a fit, youthful LOOKING woman with a fantastic body, (toned, bubble butt, tight waist, rounder hips, big firm boobs, long shiny hair, clear complexion, bright eyes) is going to be much more sexually attractive to me than someone who isn't that. So for me personally, it's cool if she's in her 30s so long as she's still hot. And it doesn't do her any good to be in her 20s and fertile as anything if she looks like Jabba-the-Hut.

Obviously, personality matters a lot too, but I'm just commenting on the role of age and attractiveness.

UnknownReflection · Accepted Answer

Such mentality is upsetting, and it's sad to imagine the kind of experiences and events she's been through in order be guided toward such mentality and conclusion.

With that said, it's understandable how our experiences shapes how we think and see the world around us, however, we need to do our best to avoid generalization as not everyone are the same nor can be the same.

Does all women looking for super-muscular, plus six feet financially rich with a giant penis men? 200 % not.

Therefore, definitely not all men think or believe in such way, and i am one of them.

Well, reproduction is not an important factor for me to begin with, but even if it was, i wouldn't treat a woman as of their only purpose or biggest use is making babies. Women aren't baby maker machines nor maids nor any other labels.

If i love a woman, the value of their presents worth more than anything else and counts above everything else. There are many more factors than just a baby and there are far more details about the importance of a woman than just reproduction.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I married at age 32 to a woman who was incapable of having children, and I remained married to her for 17 years.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Is there something wrong with that woman? She should consider that not all man want to have children. I have guy cousins around 28-35 age that had mentioned that they don't want children and they want a lady that doesn't want children. Some people want to be child free. Not sure where this woman got that information from but mostly woman now a days are having kids in their 30's. Being 30 does not mean she can't get pregnant my aunt she is 45 and she had her baby girl she has been wanting a girl for years. She is a horrible person why would she say such horrible things about other woman instead of being supportive.

Lliam · Answer

I never particularly wanted children. That wasn't my goal. So hell yeah I'd date a woman in her 30s.

The most sexually amazing girlfriend I ever had in my life was 31 when I was 37. We practically lived together for over a year before we split up for reasons that are complicated. I loved her with my heart and soul and she loved me. We just weren't meant to be together for the rest of our lives. But we never stopped loving each other.

I met my future wife when I was 40 and we got married when I was 42. Neither of us had ever been married because we weren't ready and hadn't met the right person.
We've been happily married now for almost 25 years. We've both reflected on how nice it is not to have to worry about kids.

Ms_Vanderquack · Answer

Sure, it's not like I could get her pregnant anyways. But I'm guessing by the context I'm not exactly what you are looking for. If it makes you feel better there are plenty of guys out there who realize having kids is a bad idea. And that woman is clearly an idiot.

Mia-Wallace · Answer

I don't know. Too many men don't want children these days so those women should be okay.

Sex and cohabition should be fine in general. Marriage and procreation will be far more complex, especially in this day and age. But at least some people are going to get there.

But generally chances for everything is lower than your 20s. The hardest of them all will be bonding.

Bonding needs passion and charm and it's stronger when two people experience hardship and grow old together. 30s is not an ideal decade for starting a deeply bonding relationship simply because both parties are likely to have solved their problems solo and in absence of love. But I can't say it's impossible either. It's better to try it in your 30s than to never try it.

Alejandro3000 · Answer

Doctors told a friend's wife that she couldon't get pregnant, 5yrs later she got pregnant and has a little girl. If the woman is wonderful then nothing else really matters to me because you could be in an unhappy relationship with someone who can create children and she divorces me.

Novacane · Answer

I mean sometimes you have to put things into perspective, i don’t think women who can’t have kids are considered “useless junk”. Long term wise a man will eventually want to start a family even if not at the moment eventually they will and obviously they won’t be able to provide that, yes there is adoption but it’s not the same as having a kid of your blood. They want to continue their legacy. It’s safe to say that this is equivalent to women dating a man that doesn’t support or provide security to them, things men are genetically made to do, so do you consider those men who can’t provide security/support as “useless junk”? no you will just find someone who does because that’s what you want and there is morning wrong with that!

FriendlyDrugDealer · Answer

I would because I’m dating a woman older than me by 3 years. I don’t mind it personally because the most important is picking the right partner to be with and selecting someone who would be a great mom. I know she would be a fantastic mom if given the proper opportunity.

The natural obstacles are something to consider but I’m not worried about it if she understands it.

Anonymous · Answer

Young (fertile) women are the minority. If majority of men only chase fertile young women, majority of men will be single or they are all ok with polygamous relationship where the fertille young women has 8 bfs/husbands for example. Majority of women are in their 30 s. I can understand when young men- whose sperm quality is way better than older men- want young women since the maturity level, adult life experience and brain development is almost same. Then according to statistics the divorce rate is higher among people with huge age gap and the marriage is shorter the bigger the age gap is due to different maturity level, adult life experience etc.

DollAlone · Answer

Im 45 and my boyfriend of 9 years had no problem with me already having kids and not being able to have more due to a tubal ligation. He doesn't want his own kids cause he feels the world is too screwed up right now and there are too many kids already here without homes or parents. I can't help but think sometimes that im holding him back somehow and that he may change his mind and want kids of his own but he assures me he doesn't

Anonymous · Answer

We were made to find love, children aren’t a requirement. And it sickens me to see disgusting humans who would leave someone just because they have issues they can’t even control. And it sickens me even further when they have the audacity to say that adoption is bad because they aren’t your own blood.

AmeerX · Answer

Look, the problem with your reasoning is if a man said yes he will marry a 30+ women then he is desperate and if he says no and he wants a young girl because he values kids then he is treated like a bad man for choosing children over a good woman.
30+ is not a problem in itself but there are numerous problems.

1. Older women become crazy psychos and extremely rigid about having their own way or the highway. They won't accept a man who is even slightly less than perfect.
2. They develop some stupid ideas that everyone just wants what they want.
3. And why did they want this long? I can understand if they are virgin and they didn't sleep around but most women especially in western countries are into hook up and friends with benefits nonsense.

ToastyOats · Answer

First of all, a lot of people can not get pregnant because they're doing it wrong. Its pretty simple if you think about and do a little study but I've met so many who don't know the basics. To answer your question, yes I would leave a woman who was infertile by choice or otherwise. It is one of the few things I would feel totally justified in seeking a divorce. Having children is such a fundamental part of our natural lifespan it would be selfish to keep someone you supposedly love from pursuing it. Its a terrible thing to be sterile when you really want kids, no one should have to do that, remain a friends with benefits forever with someone just because they feel bad for them. Are you having trouble with fertility?

Anonymous · Answer

I just want to address something here. you said

"we look WAY YOUNGER AND FITTER NOW IN OUR 30s than whe where in our 20s... and we do look fitter than some 20 something chicks "

I guarantee that you don't look younger. You might be fitter and still pretty but you do not look younger. Don't confuse looking good with looking younger. Young women have a glow and attractiveness that is fleeting and once it is gone you can't get back to that same level unless you shoot estrogen into your arm on a daily basis. As you leave teens years your estrogen starts to drop and testosterone increases. It doesn't happen overnight but it is a one way trip

Agape93 · Answer

“She” sounds like a moron. :/ I can’t have kids and I haven’t had an issue getting laid from my girl or my friends with benefits

DontEvenUnderstand · Answer

One of my family members got married to some dude, they'd been dating for a while before hand. Pretty soon after the marriage they tried to have kids but she turned out to be unable to produce children. It meant so much to him that he instantly divorced her.

Personally I wouldn't have cared if I was that deep in a relationship. However too me procreation is the sole purpose of life as we know it. Sure having kids could be replicated by adoption, but If you where a total stranger it would be a pretty big negative. Still it is something I could live with If I had too.

elvitto · Answer

Oh this is a hard one. I am a 27 years old guy. I still dont have kids. But I am very much looking forward to having a family in the future. And by a family I don't mean just a wife. Having kids is very importat for me and to most man I could say (not for everyone, but definitely the mayority of guys).

Love is a porerful thing, it is a real thing that love can do anything. That is not fairytale.
Buy the guy must be truly in love to sacrifice such an important aspiration in order to be with you.

I can't deny how important it is for me to have kids.
It doesn't mean that you are worthless as a person.
But it'd be a huge blow for a man the fact that he cannot have kids.

Anyways of course there is adoption and other fertility options.

VanillaSalt · Answer

I would leave if she can’t have children. Children AND a good wife are equality important to me and I will not sacrifice one for the other. I doubt women’s ability today to be a wife. Just convincing me to marry any women no matter her quality would be an act of god. But ide happily consider a LTR with all that comes with marriage. Again though a woman’s fertility is everything. Either I can have her and kids or I can’t have her.

Honestly I’ve considered just having a surrogate but it’s very expensive and I highly disagree with single parenting. I consider it borderline abuse.

BeenThereLovedIt · Answer

Having kids over 30 is about the most narcissistic thing any woman can do. The odds that child will have birth defects (CP, autism, etc.) is much higher than lower age brackets. This is medical fact. If you want to have kids, do it young. Notice how many teen pregnancies go bad? Like almost none. This is because your best child-rearing years are from 13-25ish. That's it. I didn't create nature, so don't blame me for this truth bomb.

Apple1996 · Answer

If a guy really wants kids then he should get with a woman that he knows is fertile (like a girl in her 20s). a lot of guys dont want kids so for them it wouldn't be a issue. And I have to say pregnancy is rough I dont recommended doing it past 30. Im 24 and pregnant with my 3rd and each pregnancy is getting more difficult since I'm getting older. I seriously can't imagine doing this at a older age like 30+.

clampfan101 · Answer

As disappointing it would be to not be able to have birth children, there’s always adoption. Besides, having kids isn’t exactly the only reason I want to find someone to marry. I want a partner in life to have fun and romance with as we support earth other, children or no children.

Tyme1313 · Answer

Well, barring her ovaries being removed, I'm pretty confident I can get her pregnant. I have been a sperm donor more than once, and a woman that was 45 got pregnant from my sperm. I do want kids of my own at some point. So as long as she is ok with working on getting pregnant, or if she is unable to get pregnant if she is ok with me getting someone else pregnant even if it is a surrogate, than I don't mind being with her. So long as we are attracted to each other and she has a good personality.

nolabels · Answer

I didn't and don't want children, got married when we were both in our late-30s, thought I was protected against such an evil eventuality, but whadya know, out pops a little human being a few years later.

Shame on me for ever allowing myself to become involved in the first place.

Maybe reincarnation is a thing, and I'll get another chance.

hellionthesagereborn · Answer

If she removed her ovaries, yeah probably. I want kids, so that is obviously not going to work. If I dated her and we both wanted kids but it turned out we couldn't, well I doubt I'm capable of abandoning anyone, its one thing to cut a woman out of your life because she cheated on you or wasn't right for you, its quite another to do so to a woman who not only did nothing wrong but is herself a victim of circumstances.

Ghostykill3r · Answer

Well, not every person wants kids, and even people who want kids it wouldn't be a deal breaker for everyone of them if they never had them. This is also not "infertile" so there's a chance and that's an even higher number of guys who would be happy. I'm sure if there were two girls who were the exact same in every way except that one had a lower chance of having a kid, that girl would be chosen less. But that's just a hypothetical that wouldn't be a real situation

MalesGOD1 · Answer

Ha.. Finding any guy who wants to get any woman pregnant is almost impossible. The rare guys that are into breeding are looking for much younger more fertile with the best chance of no birth defects. Also any guys reading this never fall for the ol "I can't get pregnant" line. Might be true but its often a trick to get pregnant.

Anonymous · Answer

It is not a conscious decision. Men instinctly pursue more fertile women. It isn't like they decide it. For instance, I don't like kids and I certainly don't want one but it doesn't change I have give them higher priority.
Similar thing is true for women. They look for someone who has money, status and power. Even if they put it as their criteria cause come from their instincts.
It is not logical to be offended about that. However, don't expect to have a dating pool that is as large as when you are in twenties. That doesn't mean no one will prefer you but means less people will prefer you and they may not willing to pursue you as much as when you're young.

WalterBlack · Answer

Sure I would. I'm 41 and I have one child. I don't know for sure if I want more kids, but I'm leaning towards not having any more. So, a woman who can't have kids would actually be a good match for me.

have_a_good_day · Answer

When I was younger the belief was consistently pushed on me that I had to be married at a certain age and have children at a certain age in order to live a happy and fulfilling life that has meaning.
Now I'm 35 and I am of the opinion that if I find a woman who completes me, that would be enough for me.
Just to have that other vessel in which to pour my bottled up affection into and to share cool stuff with.

Lionman95 · Answer

I´m actually looking for a woman who can´t concieve so that wouldn´t be much of a problem to me. A bigger problem would be the age difference because I wouldn´t want a woman that is more than 3/4 years older than me.

CasuallySamsonite · Answer

Actually, I prefer a woman who has started menopause. A lot the data shows that plenty of women reach peak sexually in their late 30's and 40's. In large part this is due to lowered / removed risk of pregnancy. If I want kids, I'll adopt. As far as I'm concerned "childless" 30 something women are just absolutely fantastic. The Ideal.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

My OH was 40 when we met, we've had 2 kids in 3 years.
I admit, kids were a dealbreaker for me. I went on a date with someone who on first date mentioned they didn't want more kids, that was the end of it for me.
30's isn't that old, you cam still have kids and have lots of fun trying.
I've had enough though, i love my two kids but no more. If i were single and dating i'd be clear with anyone that i wouldn't want more.

AdithyaR · Answer

I do not know what that woman was thinking but sounds like nonsense.
If I am dating a woman, I'm dating her for her, not for some future of kids. (Also I don't want kids but even if I did, she is more important than the idea of kids)

Now since I'm 20, I wouldn't date a 30 year old woman cause the age gap is uncomfortable. But if I were 30, I'd date her if she's a good person.

Fireguy17 · Answer

No, it wouldn't be an issue at all.
I never had a desire to have kids, so for me it wouldn't of been a problem.
For her she might really want to have kids, so finding someone who loves you no matter what and will be willing to do everything possible to have a family would be the best choice.

Nik1hil · Answer

"This "amazing" "woman" here on G@G, I won't mention her name, pointed out that MEN ONLY WANT FERTILE WOMEN, and that's what they will chase after. "

I will bet a slap that her username starts with letters "Qu_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _“ .
Am I right?

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Yeah i mean its one thing if she's say 22 and you get married and damn unlucky she can't get pregnant. Thats tough luck. But a man is a fucking idiot to marry some 35 year old going in he knows he might not get kids. Who would do that? Or If i met a 22 year old who knew she couldnt have kids id not continue a serious relationship with her. Marriage is about having kids and making a family. Otherwise why not just be a bachelor for life?

CatWithAMellonBrain · Answer

Some prefer a childless relationship. Ik some guys who do prefer having children but are flexible/wouldn't be a deal breaker if she's not fertile. 30yros isn't a too difficult age to have children. Just 40-50s, depends on each woman.

unknown17550697 · Answer

You could always adopt or get a surrogate. If you truly love her/like her then it should not matter if she is infertile because there's many ways to be a parent.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

The best way I can answer this is, my g/f can't have kids and we've been together for a very long time.

Porter21 · Answer

Yes I would why not! Though I would love to try to get you pregnant if you wanted to I would enjoy trying!

Feelicks · Answer

You're probably fine until you hit 35 biologically speaking, but generally if you're still single in your thirties it means you have had a failed marriage, can't form lasting relationships, or have a major personality defect.

You're going to dating men of a similar caliber and settling or you're going to over-reach and get pumped and dumped.

Just don't have unrealistic expectations and you'll be fine.

Kontrvnote · Answer

Wait, did she say that it's hard for a woman in 30s to get pregnant? Is she being serious?

DJB72 · Answer

Oh please. I was 46 and my wife was 45 when our son was born. Fertility is maybe not as easy at that age, but it's not impossible

Anonymous · Answer

Some young women can’t conceive. Age is not it. Janet Jackson had her child at 50. So if you’re going by the age of a woman, you better have your ducks in a row. You get with a 24 year old young girl and 5 years later find out she will never be able to have a child is the guys fault for choosing a woman based on age.

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

If I truly like a woman and want to be with her, then it wouldn't matter if she has a hard time getting pregnant or not. I'm not dating her ovaries. I am dating the woman and what makes that woman special to me. Every woman I have dated is because I found something special that I loved about them. didn't even cross my mind if they could have kids or not.

RealMarek · Answer

At my age it doesn’t matter. My girlfriend can’t have more kids, so we get to enjoy sex without birth control.

Anonymous · Answer

At the moment, I would see no issue with that, as of today I do not want children.

My opinion might change later on in life.

On one condition, she would NOT cry or everyday talk, that she is not able to have them and how it is unfair and all that... She tells me once and we move on with that issue and whenever anyone mentions anything concerning children or getting pregnant she is NOT getting upset ever.

HairyPoppins · Answer

Women are having babies well into their 40's. So this could happen to someone in their 20's. The most important question is do I love her? If so it wouldn't matter.

Yourfriend2021 · Answer

If I loved her and she was beautiful that wouldn't be a problem since bringing kids into todays world doesn't seem like a very good thing to do anyways.

Ekvark · Answer

No she doesn't speak for all men, and certainly not for me. I'm not sure if ever even want kids. This world is made up of so many different people. Honestly just sounds like she was projecting to try and make herself feel better.

boggboss · Answer

I would but if we was in the early stages off dating then its possible I would end things if I wanted kids

Anonymous · Answer

Just here to state that women in their thirties and forties are fertile as long they are still menstruating.

Avicenna · Answer

I'd have no problem with a woman in her 30s, and the fertility decline can be exaggerated by some people. The ages of the women I've gotten pregnant were 33, 35, 38, 39 and 44.

1EVDriver · Answer

That really isn’t a deal breaker. My wife and I met in our 30’s our second child was born when she was 35. No it wasn’t as simple as a one and done deal but we where still able to have our children.

K-I-S-S · Answer

Would not base my pick on the condition of her baby factory, apart from STDs of course.

OfDeath · Answer

Yeah I still would. Women in their 30s can still get pregnant. And if she couldn't, we could adopt or use a surrogate. No big deal.

worldscolide · Answer

Nah I only want real women.. As in born biologically female.. Weather or not you can get pregnant is a factor, but it's not in the top 10 things I look for. I just refuse to date someone who use to be male... Cause I'm not gay.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't want kids, so I'd prefer someone who is unable to breed. She either has to be 100% sterile or no vaginal sex (condoms, IUDs, and birth control don't work).

Adam1978 · Answer

I would say she hit the wall around 35 not 30. Because you want a few years without kids first and there isn't time for that when she is older. That is if the man wants a family.

SicklyGamingVirgin · Answer

Not true! I for one would never “chase” a woman based on her fertility! That’s the most horrible thing I’ve heard.

Would you date a woman in her 30s knowing that she might have a hard time getting pregnant due to her age?

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