Does dating cause you anxiety? If so, how do I handle it better?

[Anonymous]

When I first meet a guy I'm okay, it's not until we get intimate that I freak out and take a step back and sometimes I tell the guy "let's just be friends" despite liking him and wanting to "date" I do this because I don't want to be friends with benefits and sex makes me vulnerable and I don't like that. I'm working on my intamacy issues but sometimes I know I mess it up and let my emotions get the best of me. I desperately want to be chill and take it day by day, yet I feel uncomfortable in the in-between stages of not knowing.

[Slartybartfast]

Back when I was still trying to get a date, I can't think of anything that was More anxiety causing then asking a girl out.

Roofing ten stories up at night in a thunderstorm in a steep pitched tile roof didn't bother me as much. I was robbed ad shit at while delivering pizza and that was less stressful.

I remember the first time I tried to talk to a women at a bar, I was twenty one and looked 15. She was smiling at me and invited me over.

Turns out she was just messing with me for fun I walked away humiliated , playing an old video game in the corner because I was embarrassed. A few minutes later she's talking to sine other guy. He comes over and grabs my arm , I'm not sure what she said to him , I litteraly only said "hello" I'd never even kissed a girl at that point.

If it wasn't for the bartender (my friend for years) there would have been violence. All because she was bored.

It was five years before I tried asking out another girl, and even then only because she was practically sitting on my lap. All my relationships were initiated by women. I've never dated anyone I actually wanted to date.

One of the reasons I gave up on women entirely.

[JackSmy]

Sorry, I'm a guy, but I thought I was reading something I wrote before!
Who doesn't have "intimacy issues"? Even the "Happily Married" ones, sometimes have "intimacy issues!"
I think that you need to find one, with the same issues, and you can know what the other is feeling, and if you get to know each other, enough, maybe be honest, and just say "I'm feeling afraid, and I want to run away", but you stay, because they feel the same, and know, and you can talk it out, and maybe get beyond that, and not go to "friends with benefits" but a real relationship, and build trust, and learn about each other, and learn trust, and how to handle when one or the other feels like they need to run!
Just thinking, and what I think would help me. Maybe not good, for you.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[JackSmy]

Care to chat, Private message?

[btbc92]

The problem is that you put yourself in this predicament. Anybody who makes you feel like that and you choose to feel like you're forced to have sex or be intimate with a stranger shows where you've been conditioned to not respect yourself or love yourself. Firstly you do not date somebody you don't know. Even if it's somebody you know, you don't just date somebody and you don't know if you're compatible people. You don't have sex before marriage. You are not obligated to get sexual before you are married. And you are most certainly isn't obligated to date a person who makes you anxious. Do the all red flags. It's a person doesn't make you feel safe, you're never going to truly feel safe in a relationship. And this is coming from somebody who deals with anxiety but also somebody who never been in a relationship. I learned to follow my own advice. And it has helped me incredibly.

[btbc92]

You got to understand that you put yourself in this position because you're dating or getting yourself involved with people that you are not comfortable with. You cannot tell people like that let's be friends because a person like that isn't looking to be your friend and looking to have sex. And now you feel vulnerable because somebody must have made you feel like you're not worthy of true love but just six so now you feel that Norway to keep a guy unless you have some terrible because you must have done this before many times to some of the green, now you are afflicted with a not if you should open up your legs or not. That had nothing to do with being vulnerable. It has everything to do with the fact that you have been abused, you have dealt with trauma, and you are a victim of it. And you need to get help for it. And be delivered from it, and stay away from such men who does not have good intentions. The problem has nothing to do with you being alone for so long. It has everything to do with the fact that in your singleness you have not dealt with those things. Hopping into another relationship doesn't solve the problem it won't fix it if you yourself won't fix it. But if you don't know what to do and how to handle it, remember just because you got the experience or just because you're older it does not mean you know exactly what you need to do. Especially if you have not learned. So the other mail user is correct. You are better off alone than to be involved with a man or person who may not be good for you.

[btbc92]

You must be honest with yourself about your choices and who you would get involved with. Just because a guy is nice to you that does not mean they care about you. They're nice because they're looking for one thing. Because of a man treated you will respect from the beginning, you would not have to feel like every person going to treat you that way. I understand that firmly well because I go through this myself. And I'm not even looking for a relationship. You do not have to show those sensitivity and vulnerability through those kind of men. They don't deserve your tears. They don't deserve your vulnerability. They don't deserve you or intimacy or kindness. They don't deserve to see your heart. So stop trying to show that to every man to try to get involved with you. Because not every man has your best interest at heart. What I learned as somebody who has two navigate concerning that is this. It's not dating that caused you anxiety. It's the kind of people you get involved with that too. When you are with the right people they don't cause you anxiety. You may feel anxiety, but if somebody is causing anxiety that's different.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice I agree and disagree. Of course I should date someone I know or don't know that's the whole part of getting to know somebody... Also many men no longer believe bin marriage so waiting to have sex prior to that, I'll be. dokmed and a old spinster forever! I like sex.. I do agree if I am pressured, not all men have done this. I have gotten better with saying no when I don't want to go further, because yes, I was conditioned.
We are social creatures and I want to experience a healthy, loving union one day. I feel insecure and scared from bad toxic love so now I'm extra cautious before or if I dive deep.

[btbc92]

Asker. If you disagree then you need to be responsible for your choices. If you said you want to experience a healthy loving Union one day then how can you say you love sex but you're already having sex. I'm a 29 year old virgin. I take Holly offense to that that you think somebody is a spinster. It's why you're single and have a problem with this man right now. How can you want something you choose by your own admission to not have. You're doing the very opposite of the very thing you say you want. Going forward is not working backwards.

[btbc92]

So because many men long longer believe in marriage and waiting does that mean you got to screw yourself over because a lot of men don't want to wait and take care and love you that's why you're in this position right now. You don't love yourself, this guy don't give a damn about you, you said you love sex, so does he, what's the point of him using you? If you love that, enjoy it. Enjoy it as much as what he wants to use you until God forbid you're in the grave. You love sex, you enjoy it too. That's not real sex. But if it says to you it shouldn't make you uncomfortable. All the ones you're lying to yourself and you're lying to other people cuz you're not being real about yourself. People won't respect you if you don't learn to respect yourself. That's somebody taking advantage of you. But that's the life you chose. I kept mine for a reason.

[btbc92]

Because no offense, I refuse to be in your position and deal with that baggage. There are very much men out there who very much would wait. It doesn't matter how long it takes. If you truly desire something you would stick to what you want. You would not compromise. You compromised. So this is why you got the man you got. If you follow God's commandments for your life he is forever faithful. How do you think you're in that mess? Because you believed the lies that was told to you. You did not have to do those things. You did not have to put yourself in it. But that's what you chose to do. So know you're not extra cautious because if you was extra causes you wouldn't know who this guy was. You know what type of guy he is and you tolerate it but you're complaining about it. I'm extra cautious which is why I never dated, I'm still a virgin and is why I weed those guys out. So if you are cautious as you say how to heck did you pick up this guy? Either you were that blind because of desperation, or you knew what you getting yourself involved with and you just chose to basically settle.

[btbc92]

You're going 10 steps or more backwards instead of going forward. That's the issue. That's backwards way of living. If you say you want a healthy living relationship it's start by changing yourself from the inside out. That includes your sexuality, your sex life, your personal life amd jow your handling this. I had all kinds of things done to me but you don't see me giving up in the very things I believe in. If you truly believe in something you would have kept yourself Pam it but because you didn't believe in it truly, you didn't keep yourself. I cannot help you with that. Only God can help you with that because your decisions are between you and him and Jesus and who you get involved with. But I will tell you this. If you don't stop and all you're going to have is this guy. Or men like him. If that's the kind of man you want, then you need to be happy with him. I can't tell you what kind of man to go after. But please don't lie to others and yourself saying how you want something healthy when that's not what your actions say. Actions speak louder than words. You're with him not because this guy is good for you. You're with him because you believe you don't deserve a good man. You deserve better, so stop going after something less.

[rosierace6]

Why are you condemning her and taking what she said out of context?

[btbc92]

I'm not condemning her. She's doing that to herself because that is the reality. The reality is is that she does not love herself. Because if she loves herself she would not put herself in that position. I don't have to take what she says out of content because that's how women like her end up with the man she has. You have to understand this has to do with having knowledge and wisdom and what you need to know before you get yourself involved in those predicaments and situations. I don't have to take anything out of context I know what type of man she is dealing with that's why I can say what I can say. A lot of you rush into relationships as young as preteens and teenagers not knowing what decisions you're making. She has to understand that everybody reap what they sow and there is consequences to this. There is always a repercussion that comes after that. What I say is that a truth and love. I would not say it if I didn't give a damn about her. I want her to do better. But if she takes it as a joke or don't think that she's deserving of anything better, that doesn't mean that she has the right to disrespect others like myself who doesn't think of myself as a spinster, but somebody who truly believes in the things that she desires.

[btbc92]

She thinks you're a loser if you're someone like myself. When that is not true. Well the world may consider you a loser you're not a loser to God. She doesn't understand it because she has yet to truly understand what real love of a man really is let alone with real sex is. Real sex is not what she's getting she's getting something fake and I'm not just talking about what she is experiencing over the phone. A man that truly loves a woman would treat her with honor, love, respect, and what's a woman who easily respect and is willing to truly love herself as equally as she has to have a desire to truly love him and him to love her equally. A lot of you girls and women do not understand that has yet to truly experience that because many of you have gotten sexually active so early. Many of you have dated so young when you barely even understood yourself. That's what it means to truly be single for you to understand yourself, to grow to learn and to truly understand who you are and know what it takes to truly become the kind of woman you desire to be. I always say that. Just because you are over 18 years old, be it if you are man or woman, that does not automatically make you a man or a woman. You must go to become a woman the same way a man was brought to become a man. A girl isn't just a woman just because, a boy isn't just a man just because. We have to earn that right. Whatever her experiences were in the past with her experiences.

[rosierace6]

But what you also need to understand is that we all believe in different things and navigate life differently. You're bringing God into this? What if she's not even religious? And secondly, I know you have good intentions with what you're saying but we need to be cautious with how we articulate ourselves and be gentle. She spoke of past experiences, whether we'd like to admit it or not, that shit scares you even though you've moved on from it. You telling someone that they don't know how to love themselves is harsh, you don't know what she's done to improve her outlook on life, love and mainly herself.

[btbc92]

But like I told her. If she enjoys these things so much that she cannot complain about them. A lot of you have been taught wrong about sex and you created something within your sexuality second should not be. That's why a lot of you cannot hold and maintain a relationship let alone a marriage because you made it about pleasure in about gaining. That's why I sadly there are people like the manichees with that are born the way they are born because of the sexual decisions that ancestors and parents have made. If it comes genetically passed down. A lot of them cannot control themselves they are in need of help. Not a relationship. In turn they don't just hurt themselves they hurt other people. Some people who would like that don't care who they use and abuse. If this was a man who wanted to get help he would have received helped. If he truly desire to be free he was seek deliverance. And God can deliver you from those things. But sometimes there are reasons why God may not do so. So that's not me condemning her. She's doing that to herself, because again she does not believe she is deserving of better parrot that's why she talked negatively about being virginal and waiting for marriage. Why do you think that? I know firsthand what that's like because I had people tell me that I'm not deserving of anybody because I refused to open up. Because I kept myself I proven them wrong. You must walk and learn to live by the same principles you say you believe in. This is about the laws of Sex, and the laws of the spiritual and the Physical Realm. They're all lost to this. And when those laws are broken, what happens when you break laws?

[btbc92]

So I am not judging her unrighteously. I'm informing her that it is up to her to decide if you want to continue down that path. I cannot force her to go down a path she says she want if she don't want to walk it herself. I cannot walk that path for her I am walking the straight and narrow path for myself. And my advice goes to you as well. If you desire truly loving and fulfilling relationship, it starts by keeping yourself. So if you have not kept yourself, you have to make a conscious decision to not do it again until you are married. So as to not only starve the flesh and filter out what shouldn't be in your sexuality, but you get to grow and become the woman you say you desire to be. I give the same advice to men. There are definitely men who desires the same we're looking for women who also desires the same.

[btbc92]

If she loves herself, if she truly worked on herself, she would not be taking stint 10 step backwards by being involved with this person. The truth is not meant for us to life. But the truth was that you free. You think I like being things told to me when when it makes me uncomfortable? The truth will always bother you regardless if somebody is gentle or not. I was firm with her. And I cannot prove my words. God is not religious. This is what I'm talking about and why I speak in a manner what you perceive a harsh. The reality is of her reality is a harsh one. It's why she does not feel good about herself. Because again, actions will always speak louder than words. People will see your actions. If your words don't line up with your actions and your showing yourself to not be.

[Asker]

@rosierace6 thank you it's getting to be a lecture. I appreciate her opinion. But I'm a hopeless romantic and there are plenty of people who have hooked up and have been married for decades long. I felt very comfortable with this guy and he's very kind and nice and he appreciated that I wanted to just be friends with him and he agreed he didn't just ghost me and leave me hanging. He's not a bad man we both are adults and made our choice.

[btbc92]

You don't think I don't deal with trauma? Do you know what it's like to get hit with a belt? Do you know what it's like to get slap? Do you know what it's like to deal with some form of sexual assault? Do you know what it's like to be cursed at? To be abused by others? To live with domestic violence in your home? To live in a dysfunctional home? Do you know what it's like to be severely bullies? Do you know what it's like to get pushed down on the floor? Do you know what it's like getting stomped on? Getting attacked? Do you know what it's like to get your things stolen? Do you know what it's like for somebody to put their hand on you and try to choke you? Do you know what it's like to have somebody say that they can kill you they would? Somebody to say they wish you was shot? Do you know what it's like for somebody to do threaten your safety? To throw you in jail? Do you know what it is like for a man to tell you because you refuse to open up your labor for a marriage how you would not make a good wife, girlfriend, or mother? Do you know what that's like to deal with that trauma? To see your own weight mother gets slapped by your father? To get threatened to be in foster care because you refused to be abused? You don't know what trauma I went through. You don't know what it's like to react badly and you get to spend it because you try to defend yourself and then you can't trust not only are the people you can't even trust other adults. But I also know where I was wrong. And where I must take accountability for my actions. That's what it means to be an adult. To take responsibility and accountability for your actions.

[Asker]

Thank you but to correct you you are not speaking the truth you were speaking your opinion and there's a huge difference. I'm also not very religious I'm a deeply spiritual person and have different beliefs than you. You don't know this guy or me so you can't just assume that he's this way or that way and I'm this way or that way. Trust me I do love myself I am a lot older than you and I have transformed myself a lot in the past 5 years. No one ever truly 100% love themselves it ebbs and flows throughout your life. And I'm not settling for him, I'm very intuitive and I can tell he's a decent guy and has a good heart. I'm not extremely judgmental with people but I do have discernment and I know who to give my time and energy to.

[btbc92]

Asker. I am a spiritual person in Christ and not religious myself. But truly that of the father who's in heaven. If you say you have discernment then why do you have this question? A person who is intuitive, can very different things. Maybe you cannot 100% love yourself period but I can period and I can buy the grace of God because I was born with love because my mother desired a person who can love her back period You say you're not settling periods but is that really the answer? You decide if you want to lie to yourself if you want Period but you already gave yourself away and that's where I can say your lying.

1. If you truly believe the words that you say, why did you come out of your mouth or typed up, men no longer believe in marriage SO waiting to have sex prior to that, you would have been doomed forever? You lied. Is because you feel exactly that that's why you feel to take offense over what I said because you wanted to Shame me for waiting. All becausw you didn't wait. So I know where you're coming from with this. You may be older than me. But you're the one who lacks wisdom.

[btbc92]

What you have is not love for yourself. That's insecurities. You have yet to grow to have true strength because you have yet to understand what it truly means to be alone. Because all this time you were not alone. You had other men. I don't think I need to further explain myself if I were you I would have been embarrassed.

[rosierace6]

And this is why people can't stand us Christians. Stop with superiority complex and give constructive criticism, don't ridicule or condemn. If we say we love others as how Christ loves us, why aren't you giving that energy? And not you shaming her too. The audacity

[btbc92]

Let me tell you something If you call yourself a Christian. I will remind you what it truly means to be of the father. They hated me before they hated you. Because it's not you that they hate, but maybe that is in you. Just because you profess your Christian, that does not mean your heart is not far from him. Anybody can claim they are of God, but those that are truly marked for God or those who have the mark of God, and that is by the Holy Spirit. And not every person who is Christian is truly Born Again of the spirit. That's not superiority complex, this is of the wisdom of the Lord most high God. This is not ridicule or condemnation. But if we say we have loved and we would love the truth, otherwise the truth is not in you.

[Asker]

I wasn't shaming you for your choice to wait for marriage or your religion. I said spinster for myself because this day and age in the hookup culture not many men will wait for marriage or even eat to be married. Why don't you educate your self and google MGTOW 😆😅 then you'll really see why some women may be forever alone.

[btbc92]

The world don't hate Christians. The world hates children of God who was in his likeness. And not everybody who is Christian is a child of the Lord most high. They can't stand the truth because what does the word of God say? And these last days and times they will not be able to stand sound Doctrine.

[btbc92]

Unlike you. If you think of yourself as a spinster that's you because that's how you see yourself. I never saw myself for that. I've been educated since I was eight. Who the heck are you to try to tell me any different? God is in control or have you forgotten that? Anytime he wants me married he would give me a husband. You already picked your husband according to the word of God. Let me have the right to pick mine, if that is so what I choose.

[rosierace6]

@Asker sorry for spamming😅

[btbc92]

I have spoken to many guys on this site and let me tell you something. They would have proved you wrong and would have avoided you at any costs. And some of those men who might happen to encounter a few days ago don't treat women like that. It's women like you who picked those kind of men. They are very much out there and some of them are very much around you. So I'm not worrying about those guys with that particular group. Those are not the type of man I will be going for anyway.

[rosierace6]

Miss btbc92, are you slut shaming us now?

[btbc92]

If that's the Fate you choose, then you are at that fate out of your mouth. That does not have to be my fate. And trust me I won't believe the same thing myself. But God has shown me recently that he has his reasons as to why he allow me to go through such adversity and it's not what you think it is. He has proven, he has shown, and he has answered my prayers. So you are very much wrong. And to be honest, some of those men are only in that group because they don't fully understand what's going on around them either. When you're around toxicities, all you know is toxicity. The moment I got out from that kind of toxicity, the better Clarity I got.

[Asker]

@rosierace6 😆😅🤔🙄 people be crazy as a loonly bird..

[btbc92]

So what are you saying you're saying you're not a virgin also? That's not me slut shaming you you already feel that way.

[btbc92]

So is that your answer when you are to one day leave this earth and you get judge for the things you get judged for are you two going to say those things that you say to me up there to God? I have more respect for my friends who done those things and repented to God and don't want to do those things again then you two who act like you're okay and you're not okay. Because it's very clear you don't take your "Christianity" seriously. So it's not women like me, it is women like yourselves why so many men are mgtow. And it's bad enough that confused as hell. And I don't blame them I would tell him to avoid y'all too.

[Asker]

Okay goodbye over critical and super sensitive soul. Take care.

[btbc92]

Mock me all you want asker but everybody reaps what they sow.

[Asker]

@rosierace6 agreed 💯 it's cool I m follow my one guidance system and don't take other people's opinions of me seriously.

[btbc92]

You say that but you want to call me crazy, a looney bird, over critical and super sensitive and yet you're supposed to be in a 2-2 spiritual person? Yeah picture of me taking someone like you seriously with your opinion. For somebody who claims you follow your own guidance system you most certainly proven yourself to be less than what you represent yourself to be.

[rosierace6]

So if we don't agree with you, we're deadass wrong?

[btbc92]

You don't have to disagree with me. I don't care if you do or not. But that's something you got to answer to God. They have nothing to do with me. I'm not the one disrespecting him because you don't like what being said to you.

[rosierace6]

Okay sure, but to know God rightfully is to know him intimately. I do have a relationship with God, I certainly do but you need to remember that we all have different belief systems. You're forcing your opinion on her, disregarding what she believes in. I'm not here to argue with you but there's a difference between giving your opinion and not listening to what other's are saying. There's so many factors that go into who we are as people, how we do things and what we believe in, but that doesn't mean we are less worthy of God's love. We serve a good and gracious God there's no lie in that. But you've taken an genuine question and turned it into you forcing your ideas and beliefs on someone else when she merely asked a question about being anxious in a relationship. Whether she's waiting until married or not that has nothing to do with you. Our jobs as child of God is to spread His gospel, not force it or ridicule His children, and yes @Asker is one of God's kids okay. ❤️😊

[btbc92]

If any of you say you know God intimately none of you would not be coming out of your mouth saying the things you're saying. So I'm not forcing my opinion on her. And I'm not disregarding what she believes in. That's what you to choose to do. I guess that's why God is telling me don't worry about them. Meaning you and her.

[Asker]

@rosierace6 Good Grief thanks for your support. I am one of Gods children and I was an Episcopalian for 5 years in my twenties. But stopped going due to children being molested by priests.. so I do believe on God, but God is in everything and everyone. I'm strongly against organized religion cuz they manipulate and brainwash you into this radical way of thinking and I don't like that. And many of them hence Catholics have abused children so that's also something I don't agree with. I don't mind that people are religious I just don't like when they force it upon you thinking they are righteous and you are wrong because of their strong belief system. Btbc92 has lot of growing up to do. He who is free without sin can cast the first stone and you young lady have casted the stone and I know for sure you are not free of sin so leave me the f*** alone and go Bible fuck your Bible

[btbc92]

Asker. Organized religion have nothing to do with your personal choices. You want to say I have a lot of growing up to do with me while you are 35 to 45 years old and you still have not learned any of it yet. So you're not telling me anything new about Catholicism or organized religion or anything else!

I did not cast the first stone! And I'm not going to have somebody like you disrespect me because you got personal qualms within yourself. I know I need Deliverance but here you are pretending like you don't need it.

[btbc92]

You are putting baggage on me that has zero to do what is being sent to you so no you're the one that casting the first stone. That was never my intent from the beginning you're the one that chose to take offense. And I am not tolerating you disrespecting me and treating me like garbage. That's why you take offense to somebody like me who is much younger than you because you're the one that had yet to grown up. So I don't know what the hell is your problem but you better freaking fix it. Everybody's a sinner but God knows you're intent and he knows your heart! Making fun of me when I didn't do that of you. How Godly of you.

[acepillager]

@btbc92 are you seriously arguing with more people again? Lmao delete yourself from GaG

[btbc92]

@acerpillager

You sir, needs to go somewhere.

[Asker]

@acepillage she is truly insane and has many issues. I reported her too.. she should be blocked..

[btbc92]

Asker say what you want. You could have blocked at me ages ago. The sad reality is I can't have your butt blocked. So you can report all you want I ain't doing nothing breaking the rules on this site.. so keep mocking and disrespecting me. I have issues with people like you. Not others on this site which is why I always have people like you blocked and make sure you don't cause any more stress in my life is because you're stressed as hell. I have over 100 people blocked. Don't think you're not going to be the next one.

[kc_4308]

That’s a red flag.. I don’t like when people imitate sex and we’re not dating.. less more met / usually a guy willl never hear from me again

[rcljr]

Any more it does, hell, I don’t know if she’s gonna hit me with a lawsuit for being a sexist pig and opening the door for her, pulling out her chair for her. I don’t know if she took her psychotropic meds or skipped a dose to make things fun, I don’t know if she’s gonna go bug shit and scream rape in the middle of the restaurant. I took the easy way out, I spent $9,000.00 on a Realdoll sex doll, now I don’t have to worry about psychotic episodes or being thrown in jail for being a gentleman. When the female of the species finally puts down the crack pile and seeks mental health counseling I may reconsider.

[Asker]

Sadly that's where Society and relationships are headed. Some will have robots to replace real love partners. In a way we already are there woman use dildos and men use fleshlights and then there's the porn industry, most watch.. were already in this virtual reality with our "Robot'

[Anonymous]

Why are you uncomfortable with the idea of becoming intimate? Do you not enjoy sex? Do you feel inexperienced and uncomfortable? Are you embarrassed about your body? Are you embarrassed about seeing a partner naked? What is it that you are afraid will happen if you become intimate with a guy?

[Asker]

It's not Physical only emotional. I suppose I worry about it launching off to something deeper and the intamacy of that opening up is vulnerable. I enjoy sex, it's when feelings get involved. I'm more content to a casual thing yet I want more depth and to dive deeper but the thought scares me. I'm not happy though w/casual sex yet I use it to protect myself from getting hurt. I'm the end it's causing more damage

[Opinion Owner]

Are you afraid that a partner will laugh at you when they learn more about you? Reject you because you are flawed?

[dragoblack]

Yes, it does. Meeting someone who i don't know, i have no idea what she will think after meeting irl, what her thoughts are of the real me, whether I'm just being used for a free meal, whether she will find me boring, whether I will say 1 thing and screw everything up, if she is toxic, if she actually looks like her photos... etc. there's plenty to worry about and cause anxiety, but talking the first step and powering through is all i can do then deal with the situation should it come to it, and make sure the first date is always a cafe to keep things safe & relaxing in a public space

[K-I-S-S]

As a loner the main problem was "I have to hang with somebody?"

The effect isn't as bad as it sounds, but it's always in the back of my mind, in social circles.
I can deal with strangers, i just don't let many people close to become friends or partners.

[rcljr]

You don’t have to hang with anybody, there’s no law saying you HAVE to socialize.

[aqua0101]

The kind of guys you're dating , makes you uncomfortable , that's the reason they are giving you anxiety.

Date guys that are not pushy and take things slow.

[TheBootyChest]

It sounds like the problem is dating its feeling insecure about intimacy. Do you think its physical or emotional?

[Mofunfour20]

Anxiety is what you feel when there's nothing you can do about your feelings. If it doesn't feel right why expect a relationship in the first place. This question smells of desperation

[Anonymous]

Yes it does. Stop dating is the best way. Learn to be alone.

[Asker]

I have been alone for a few years. Stopped dating off n on buy it gets lonely.

[rosierace6]

Be patient with yourself. Being vulnerable emotionally or physically takes courage, don't rush yourself but communicate with your partner about what you feel comfortable with

[Uptowngirl88]

If you don't want to be friends with benefits then keep your legs closed. Stop having sex with every man you meet. Your mom never taught you this or what?

[Bean2k]

I used to be scared until I realized that I was the one that people should be scared of.

[OddBeMe]

Just know women never have as much responsibility as chicks on dates. So we’re sweating more.

[Jamie05rhs]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your reaction is completely normal. Your body and mind are acting the way they are supposed to.

[Anonymous]

It only causes anxiety when it is not the right person.

[kc_4308]

Yep.. cringe 😬

[scooogy]

Being with my ex made me view dating like blowing dust in the wind...

[ToastyOats]

Yup your boned! At your age that's basically a wrap. Do it or don't!, there is no try.

[Anonymous]

Yes so much that I completely fuck it and the guy doesn't like me in the end...

[Morado]

I already struggle with anxiety when hanging out with my best friend girl who I have a crush on. I can’t imagine dating.

[malwins]

Dating will only cause anxiety to people already insecure

[Smegskull]

Yes. I don't date, problem solved.

[Joker_]

I'm constantly in a state of anxiousness

[SenseiSeptred]

Drop the want and you will become complete.

[Anonymous]

Yes and basically I don't date

[ForgottenFuRyan]

Da fuq is "anxiety?"

[MrJMM]

By not dating.