Girlfriend Moving 5 Hours Away?

[Anonymous]

Basically, my girlfriend and I have dated 1 year. Her parents recently found out and banned all contact with me. That, among other things, have caused her to want to move 5 hours away to escape her abusive parents and live with her Grandparents. I go to college next year, and could move closer to her, but is driving 5 hours almost every weekend to see her unrealistic? Her Grandparents are ok with it, and I feel my parents would be okay with it too... I j need encouragement I guess.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You need encouragement to know whether driving 5 hours every weekend is realistic.. right? Sorry then it won't work.
If you need to hear it from other people then you aren't committed to this girl as much as you'd like to think.
If it were me? I'd be thinking of a way to study for a few weeks at a time online to be near her, and then coming back for a week at a time to attend the classes.
My point being, I wouldn't need to ask 'is it worth it,' I'd be asking what's the best way to make it work.. See the subtle difference?

[Asker]

She is worth it. She rlly is, although its still a High School relationship, and as much as my parents would help, I dont think they'd let me alter my life that much.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You said in your question her parents have banned you seeing her, AND other things caused her to move away.. what other things if it isn't too personal? What I'm trying to get at is if she is partially running away from you as well, and you are running after her.

[Asker]

Ahhh I see what you mean. Trust me, she is not. We've been friends for a year before we started dating, and all the time she would tell me how horrible her parents were. Recently, her parents took her phone, deleted my number, blocked me on everything, and told her to never contact me again... And so she messaged me through Pinterest 😂 For the last week's she's just been really depressed and she tells me all the things they do and say to her, and she asked for advice so I told her maybe move in with her Grandparents and she jumped on that idea, and hopefully it will work out. she's told her Grandparents about me, and she even said they'd let me come over and everything. I understand ur viewpoint, but it's not that way at all. She was the one who told me there was a college in town and I could live at her Grandparents house while I attended, so I'm not to worried about "chasing her". As for your other question... Her parents basically control every part of her life. They insult her weight, eating disorder, invalidate her emotions, depression, and among that tell her how she has disappointed them. Whenever she talks they tell her to be quiet, then they get mad because doesn't tell them her issues. I've witnessed a lot of this myself back when they actually were ok with me seeing her. I love how ur actually offering advice, it means a lot. We're in high school by the way.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I am beginning to understand a lot more now.
Some people just aren't meant to be parents. Hers being a prime example by all accounts. Do you think they suddenly took a disliking to you for any OTHER reason than jealousy? In that they see you as someone who is prepared to safeguard her from their callous treatment as well as someone who is perhaps able to make her see she doesn't need them any longer?

[Asker]

Wow. I never thought of it that way... I really do... Here's the thing, we would walk around every night, with each other, we would ask the bake cookies in their house, I would sit around the fire with them, it was obvious to everyone that we were dating. Then, her parents went through her phone, and found out that we were actually dating, and basically shut down all communications with me, even though it was obvious already that we liked each other... Which makes me think that it's less that they don't want me dating her, and more that they see me as a threat to their parenting style... Because they were conversations about her talking about her parents, and be comforting her, so I could really see that being the reason why. Amazing point.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You probably won't get to talk to them again, but you know what I would do if suddenly confronted with them?
I would tell them that through their behaviour, they have not only upset their daughter enough to not want to live with them any longer, but in fact they have pushed you two closer together. Common sense dictates the more you try and keep two people who are in love apart, the more they will move heaven and earth to be together.
So just smile and thank them.

[Asker]

Ty so much. You've helped more than you know, you really have. Not we I gotta hope her parents won't force her to stay.

[TommyMountainFigure]

If she is over 18 they cannot legally force her to stay. Even if she ISN'T over 18, she would still be able to leave siting 'abuse' as a valid reason.

[JustinTimberlegs]

If you have transport there, yeah 5 hours isn't so bad. Better than a 22 hour flight ☺️

[Tunasub]

Fuckn party time! But act sad on the phone.

[Asker]

Ikr 😂😂

[Tunasub]

👍🏾

[Gwenhwyfar]

Move closer to her

[Asker]

That would be the goal next year when I choose where to go to college.

[Gwenhwyfar]

That sounds great

[Jamie05rhs]

Go for it, dude. :)

[Asker]

Ty, I appreciate it.

[Canceled]

Instant breakup