Girlfriend going away for 3 weeks?

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend asked if I would be mad if she went on a trip with some friends for 3 weeks in the future. I replied with you can do what you want. That said, I won't be mad, but to me that certainly raises concern. We have been dating for a few months now and things have been going well and it has been a slower progression than most people would have. Im not really sure why she even asked that since I figure she would just go anyway. Does that resemble how she views the relationship? Wouldn't any guy be bothered by that? I was thinking of telling her I'll just go on my own trip for 2 weeks with a group of people around the same time which I really would do. I plan to wait to see if she brings it up in person before I mention anything about it either way.

[DishLady]

Don't compare your relationship to others in terms of the pace. Every person has a different comfort level and pace.

Who cares what "any guy" would be bothered with? You're NOT "any guy" you're HER guy... right? Right. Come on, buddy.

Now if you feel bothered by it then it's your obligation to talk to your gal. Come on... you can do it...

[Anonymous]

I'm trying to figure out what part is bothering you. The length of the trip? You not being invited? The timing of the trip? I don't know why she asked either. That was polite of her as she certainly doesn't need your permission.

[Asker]

The length and people

[HighValue]

Girls' trips = cheating MOST of the time. And most girls cover for their women friends that cheat because MOST women are immoral.

For me, a girls trip = ending the relationship. Only people without options would put up with that kind of behavior.

[nl171]

I mean I wouldn’t be concerned if you just started dating a few months ago.

[Asker]

Would it be if we were together for a year or even married?

[nl171]

Yeah maybe then

[Nikki1989]

You shouldn't be in a relationship if you still have these petty insecurities at your age.

[Asker]

Has nothing to do with insecurity

[Avicenna]

Yeah, that’s not normally ok

[Anonymous]

People go on vacation , that’s a normal part of life , you don’t stay home 24/7 just cuz you’re in a relationship

[Asker]

And if it happens multiple times a year? That's nothing to be concerned about?

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know , did she do that before the relationship?

[Asker]

I just mean theoretically. Like is there a point where it should be concerning vs normal? She has done shorter trips before yes.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know , I guess if she is never home and doesn’t want to spend time with you all

[Asker]

That's fair

[Opinion Owner]

Very true

[MzAsh]

She messed up by asking you in the first place.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[MzAsh]

Well it’s not something that needs your permission anyway, but the fact that she asked if you’d be mad is part of what put the seed of doubt in your head.

[Asker]

It would be a red flag if she never said anything and just went on the trip without me knowing. Im not looking for permission. This is just a bit of a new concept to me which is why im asking this

[WhitneySnow]

How is it going too slow?

[Asker]

I didn't mean that as a bad thing in saying TOO slow but like we just took our time going into it which is completely fine and I appreciate

[WhitneySnow]

Why are you upset that she’s going on a group trip? And why do you think she’d be upset if you went in one with your friends too?

[Asker]

I can't say its really being upset but more mixed feelings. Not really sure the best way to categorize them. But part of the uneasiness is probably that they are random people from a previous trip and this early in the relationship, there's that aspect of when you aren't used to being in a committed relationship you tend to still act on single life actions without realizing the possible results type of thing... whatever that would be called. I dont think she would be upset if I went but I dont really know. She isn't the type to show her real emotions very well. I will say im sure im overthinking this as well but I suppose that's a natural defense in avoiding a possible red flag

[WhitneySnow]

I think you should talk to her about this

[JesseP1nk]

Sounds like she wanna feel some dick. :-/