Online Dating - Yes Or No?

Question

I know what you're thinking -  Alyssa this isn't your secret diary and stop focussing on your love life.  BUT I will continue exploring my love life so honestly, don't bother lol.  I swore I was so against online dating and basically objectifying myself for men to swipe left (I think that's the term?), based on a stupid photo and a couple of bullet points that supposed to condense my AWESOME personality (just play along pls lol).  BUT I want to meet a brown guy, with a connected beard, and muscular body and some kind of career going for him. He's not at the gym or at my local starbucks - and so online it is! YES OR NO? SHALL I DO IT?

Anon621 · Accepted Answer

Thanks for sharing your top secret diary Alyssa. In all seriousness, most of my experience is in online dating so for me I would say no because of my preferences. Obviously, there are plenty of arguments for online dating. For me, I just don't think online dating has really worked that well. Firstly, I prefer to have in person conversations with people because in person conversations are much better and I like to see a person's body language and facial expression and also make in person eye contact (which in my experience is so much better than trying to make eye contact over video call). Secondly, despite having multiple positive experiences with dating people online there was always something that just felt off to me. I tried to put a finger on it but everytime I just kept going back to how I prefer face to face interactions because I feel like my personality is conveyed better that way since I'm a pretty introverted person and sometimes I don't even talk during a conversation sometimes I just like to let someone else talk and just sit there and listen because I don't want the conversation to become one sided which seems to happen way more online compared to real life. Lastly, I tried many different forms of online communication and each one seemed to not work. I've tried video calls, phone calls, text messages, voice notes, basically most ways of communicating with someone. I always felt like that in person element was missing for me. That non verbal feeling of being able to look at someone else's body language and their facial expression to really understand the meaning behind what they said. Because when I write a message to someone they might not know the meaning behind it. For example if I said "I feel really happy today" and then you respond with something along the lines of "that's good I'm glad your happy", that confirms to me that you don't care about the reason why I'm happy or you already know the reason depending if I told you before. Or I could just right "I'm doing alright." That's considered as the standard response but what's my criteria for doing alright?

exitseven · Accepted Answer

Just going to find a collection of losers who downloaded a hot looking pic and lie about their occupation. Some are probably married too.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Online dating works for some and for others it doesn’t work at all. I always tell my friends to give it time when they feel defeated in online dating because you never know when your future partner might just sign up to make an account. You just gotta be patient.

My sister met her husband through online dating. Two of her friends met their husbands on online dating and I met my fiancé through online dating.

I remember accidentally unmatching with a guy I thought was cute, but to match him again I had to pay for the monthly subscription to be a gold member. I decided why not? I’d do it for a month and then never again. Becoming a gold member apparently helps you get better matches within your area. Anyways, right after I got the membership and tried to match the cute guy again another guy, with a gold membership, liked my profile. I looked at his profile and something he wrote in his bio really resonated with me so I hit like back. Very soon after he messaged me. We hit it off from the start. Our convos went super well and we are now planning our wedding.

I would have never met him had I not been online and had I not tried out the membership lol. Not saying you should purchase anything, just that that was what changed for me lol.

Anyways, he’s a brown guy with a connected beard who works out and has a career. Guess I got lucky huh? 🤪

I say give online dating a chance.

Passion_Devil · Accepted Answer

I actually think Carry On Alyssa! Carry on! Let me hear all about it.
Yes or No? Yes. But you have to be patient. You will come across a lot of sexually starved men. Many, daily. But you have to keep... faith 😈😈😁. There will be guys looking for serious relationships too. You just have to hit them up or give them a chance.

ManOnFire · Answer

You will do fine with it. Online dating is made to be successful for women and made for women as a meat market they can take their pick from. So go for it.

Jake99999 · Answer

Yeah lots of people saying it sucks and it’s for losers etc. Okay duly noted.

Here is my take. Try it. What have you got to lose. Some people have great success. Don’t listen to those who never tried it, or jaded people who tried and failed. Some people don’t know how to present themself and how to conduct themself. Experience it for yourself. It may work out great for you.

Pick a site that fits your objective. Hookups: something like Tinder. A relationship? Something like Match. com. Pick a site the matches what you are looking for. It doesn’t cost that much to try it out.

Expect to have some strange experiences. Some weirdos. Some fakes. The internet is full of them. Everywhere on every site. Yes even on GAG. But, there are indeed a lot of authentic people out there - great people who are just tired of the bar scene or otherwise don’t want to waste their time hoping to run into someone at the grocery store, don’t want to date someone they work with, etc. - and if you find one you may be very happy with the result.

RealMarek · Answer

It worked for me, but the challenges men face are different from the ones women face. Women have told me the biggest problems are men who don’t read the profiles, men who expect sex sooner than they do, receiving explicit pictures that are not solicited, and concerns about safety. If you try it, I would recommend being specific about what you want in your profile. For example, “no hook-ups,” might deter some guys who are just looking for sex. In fact, it is good to put your expectations about sex if you are waiting until marriage or taking things slowly in the profile. I strongly recommend having first dates, or as many dates as necessary until you are confident a man is safe, in daylight in a public place with other people around, from which you can leave safely if necessary. Because you might not have mutual friends, it is a good idea to take things slowly, look for consistency in a man’s behavior and watch how he treats other people (like customer service or waiters). Online dating is a bit of a numbers game, so it requires a bit of level-headedness. There will be people who don’t reciprocate your interest. Some won’t ever go beyond trading messages. Some will probably do stupid or creepy things. Of the rest, only some will actually be good matches for you. It’s not for everyone, but I ended up with a great relationship with a woman who I wouldn’t have met otherwise.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Yes but be extremely careful! I met the love of my life on okcupid. I had it basically down to a certain method.. I can tell you more if you want to know!

1. Always video chat before meeting.

2. Dont get in the car with them. Meet in a public place ask someone to drop you off.. if not an option then after you pay your way cause guys sometimes expect something after they pay.. go to the bathroom or something so he doesn't see what type of car you drive. Ask to see his license (to make sure he's telling the truth about his age.) After you do three public meal/bowling type of dates if you feel safe try walking your dog together... Dogs have a very good sense of people!

Cathy7734 · Answer

I'm seeing a therapist and I asked her a similar question. She suggested that I play down the preferences, for example, I want a man who is tall, muscular, etc., and focus on what is important in the relationship for both of us. For example, one cool thing about a relationship is that each other validates us. We go through life and we know the other person's experiences. Another cool thing is each gets to express feelings and feel heard and understood.

But when I tried online dating the impression I get is they just want sex.

molonski2 · Answer

Its just a way of meeting people and its by far the best way , dont know about your criteria , but that matters little , purely a communication tool , that easily lets you screen though , and see what takes your fancy. You do appreciate that your own condemnation of an individual selecting or otherwise you , via a photograph is exactly what you are doing yourself? Anyway , thats not important , its easy to screen to work though and safe a literal plethora of wasted time. Its pretty much the only way I rolled since 1998 , you can't go though the same number of people , basically interview them in a gym or a coffee shop :) ..
Just makes obvious sense.

GingerGuy · Answer

I believe the experience is completely different for women vs men, and definitely negatives for both. But is it possible to find someone genuine online? Yes, but you have to have thick skin and patience. Also making assumption is the worst thing you can do, and almost everyone does it, especially online dating. Even yourself, you feel like you're "objectifying" yourself, but not all men are viewing you that way, or only looking for a hookup. Unfortunately there's just more of those types of men then ones actually looking for a relationship. But I notice women are very quick to judge a guy also, and/or make assumptions.

JustinTimberlegs · Answer

Go for it, you seem to know what you want, just be careful, and don't trust people so easily. I hope you find a good person that meets your needs.

Be extra careful giving anyone your details or address, details people can use to stalk you like workplace or daily routine.

Also be careful when they say they're single they might have multiple women on the side or might be hiding a relationship.

Best wishes!

Jfranco12 · Answer

I tried for a week and it was awful, you match with people they don’t reply or they’ll start a convo by saying “hey” and then don’t reply when you try to ask a question. They don’t put it effort either, when I try to ask questions they answer them quickly with no follow up and don’t try to bounce them back. I just deleted the apps I’m done idc lol

DizzyDesii · Answer

Do as you please but dont expect much yet hope for the best. I've only had one successful longterm relationship that started online. The rest lasted 3 months or less. I still prefer the old school meet someone in person type stuff. It was the one perk of HS/college. After college, it got harder after college bt still quite possible when you hit the mall, gym, grocery, movies, gas station lmao, etc

Sarairocketship · Answer

I tried it, but never found anybody. Except one person. Who it didn't work out with. Depends what site you use. I used pof and tinder (although now I realize it wasn't the right site for me).

phill5158 · Answer

For girls online dating is a lot easier, I say go for it but be prepared to get a ton of desperate thirsty guys messaging you. You'll need to have a good ability to read guys character because over text some can be deceiving. Good luck with it if you do it, see how you go.

Anonymous · Answer

Nowadays, It is the way to go!!! From the comfort of your own living room. I have met many online and I have had no problem. I even married one way out yonder and have one now from Europe I met Online. Go for it. Just be educated so you are not scammed, ma'am.

VikingWarLord · Answer

I just go on dating sites to get laid.

But nothing will ever beat what CRAIGSLIST was. I'd post and have 30+ options the next gawdam morning. And they all knew it was about FUCCKING! These other sites you have to jump through hoops and find the ones who are looking for a fuuck date.

RasberrySlushPuppy · Answer

Online dating sites? Not sure about that, they have some wild expectations and just scare people it can feel unnatural. But works for some so don't knock it. I like the way in which I accidentally bump into a person in my online life. Previously I connected with someone like that and it was great!

K-I-S-S · Answer

Sounds like you are looking for a grizzly bear 🤔

Organic is still best.
Not too easy to find a guy matching your wants in the online pool either.

Give it time in either case, like a year. Probably will find one during it.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Well it's your choice but you always have to be careful about online dating since a lot of these guys online are just fake 😂😂

Tall, muscular, brown, bearded, business man, 2 ferraris and 2 mclarens under his castle 🤣🤣 just joking sweet alyssa rapunzel 😁

Good luck 😉

NicoletteXO · Answer

I hope that "connected beard" was a typo and you meant "connected heart"...

Levin · Answer

Your requirements are pretty superficial, in my opinion, but do what you want.

MCheetah · Answer

Online dating sites are a confidence booster for women who aren't looking to actually date anyone and a depression well for men actually looking for a committed relationship. Women win it all, and serious men lose everything.

Anonymous · Answer

Highly dependents on looks, how interesting you are, how your physic is.
If you over or under weight, below average looking. It's just waste of time.
To be real with you, look in libraries or bar, cafe, etc.
Online dating is just waste of time at least for me it was.
(6 months 1match, that too no response)...

jcampbell115 · Answer

It's swiping right if you want to match them lol, get the lingo down first lol

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

No I wouldn't recommend people now a days are crazy plush mostly online dating you will come across with a lot creeps perverts eh NO ! Not for me I am very old school I prefer meet on person either at church , threw a friend.

joshctlee · Answer

I hate online dating but it’s the only way for me to meet people. The choice paradox that comes with online dating has its users so picky they never want to settle until they found their better match.
It’s a vicious circle because there will always be someone better for you no matter what.

Anonymous · Answer

I've looked at online dating apps before. Many times. From tinder to bumble to grindr, to blendr, to OkCupid and more. But I either got hardly selected or the women who did I just didn't want to swipe for them or click for them. I guess shallow works both ways I should add about myself and my wants in a woman.

In answer to your question, well you can always just download tinder and scroll and delete if you get bored or you get annoyed or whatever.

Jlegacy · Answer

You can find your spouse online. My friend found his wife in Facebook. But the best spouses are revealed by God. You can't find them without God. As for my friend, God helped him find her on Facebook.

DarkWinterNights · Answer

Been there, done that. Not a fan. I think it’s actually one of the worst things to ever happen to dating.

Clarke498 · Answer

If you feel like it, go for it :) Just be prepared for the downsides so you won't be so let down.

Weater67 · Answer

99% of women will focus and obsess on the top 15% of dudes the bottom 85% are completely invisible to them. When they say they want “a good man”, “caring”, “emotional”, “loving” etc. But what they mean is that they want the top 15% to be like that (which they will never be because they are the top % and they have their pick of 99% of women). So either ladies cut that sh*t out or stop complaining about “where are all the good men”

red324 · Answer

I've been having better luck with it after the lock downs lifted. Not sure why. I did update all my pics and got a couple decent ones on there. Either that or it's because I don't get passed off anymore when they get flaky. I think it's the pictures.

have_a_good_day · Answer

I'm commenting here because I dig your profile pic 🤙🤙 All I'm gonna say is: You go, girl! You go find your brown guy 🤙

WalkingBassist · Answer

How is this a question? You'll do great. Online dating, and dating in general is where you hold every card. So, there's nothing in it for us.

NathanDavis · Answer

cautiously... and never compromise your safety or well being

Anonymous · Answer

There was someone in here (55) who mentioned that they met their girlfriend here, and not even looking. They just clicked. That kind of online dating, the fortunate.. 💘

FilmGuy93 · Answer

I'm not big on online dating, but it doesn't hurt to give it a try.

varan69 · Answer

Yes why not you have nothing to lose and more to gain i mean as friends. Online dating sucks because you are been judge by a picture on a phone instead of personally getting to know a person which is way better to me

misterCage4 · Answer

I've tried it before but I don't think I ever will again. I don't know. It feels weird. It doesn't feel 100% real. Its also not safe

Iron_Man · Answer

Most of those are Long distance relationships and they are extremely difficult and over 95% fail except I was in one and I did a lot of work to keep it going and I was successful

jasco · Answer

I mean its up to you. I have done online dating and if your lucky you will find some very good people. More than likely tho sense your a woman you may find some asshole. Who knows tho good luck to you

Tstrbrainer · Answer

Go ahead, but know that any girl is gonna get a ton of attention there and most of us only want to hook up.

So you have to filter a lot.

Maybe try sites like Bumble.

Or what about matrimonial sites?

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

That all depends on you and the person you want to date

m33lad · Answer

Girls/ women are married to Tiktok.  They don’t need us. Japanese sex robots are advancing very fast!

TwinTonyz · Answer

Dating sites will offer your the opportunity to shop for your preferred brand of male. You'll have a nearly endless supply of whatever you want while tossing the trash aside.

Kitty46 · Answer

I met a guy on Badoo dating app, we met 11 days ago.

MysticDevice · Answer

It never worked for me but maybe you'll have better luck. Whats the worst that could happen.

Priv9696 · Answer

I’d rather meet someone the traditional way. Not had the best luck with online dating

Anonymous · Answer

Some sites are more objectifying then others. Tinder for example is just for sex really. There are others that are better but in all honesty online dating sucks

Bobme · Answer

Fun, but mostly a waste of time. I did find this site some how from a dating site.

Andres77 · Answer

Take precautions and learn how to do online background checks.

Ailaw22 · Answer

You can give it a try , I'm sure someone will fit that description but usually chances of finding someone online is slim

genericname85 · Answer

to men, online dating is like the sahara. nobody there. just a fata morganas (fake scammer accounts). yeah i'm exaggerating a bit but i think you get the idea.

zagor · Answer

Fine with me. I just got lemons but maybe you'll do better.

dudeinohio · Answer

Go for it. I've been there. Met my girlfriend on pof

Anonymous · Answer

I attract a lot of gays fat girls old women and ugly chicks with hot bodies, so i gave up on online shit.

Ryfyle · Answer

No. Who your looking for might not exist, or might not care for your type.

Waldoe · Answer

I tried online dating for a long time... 99.999% are just "talkers" they don't really want to leave the safety of their cocoon, Chat but never want to "meet n' greet", a waste of time and effort.

Iuvtacos · Answer

No nope never. I’d much rather meet someone in person at an event or party.

chrator · Answer

Wanna try it once for sure. Its one of the things on my bucket list

DaveToo · Answer

Oh to be a brown guy, and uh, 23 again.

Yel01 · Answer

nothing wrong if you'll consider online dating just be wise who to talk to. There are a lot of scammers who makes other people fall for them only to end up scamming them.

Online Dating - Yes Or No?

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