Girls, Is it a turn off if a guy doesn't want kids after marriage?

[Anonymous]

[btbc92]

I think at that point should get be married at all? Sex leads to children. And unless you or both are infertile, you run the risk of getting pregnant, and you're not going to have a choice but to be the father for that baby. I personally would not date or marry a man who doesn't want children. It's within your right. But again, unless she wants to be on "birth control" forever, which I would not recommend anyway, marriage may not be for you unless you time sex where she doesn't ovulate on those days. Because ovulation week after the period runs the highest risk of getting pregnant. So that is a challenge.

[Asker]

But it is painful 😖 for women to give birth to a child. Why do u want it?

[btbc92]

It's what we have to do. It's sacrifice. Is not love a sacrifice?

[btbc92]

It's painful for us to lose our virginity and trust a man who may not keep his word. What difference does it make? I am a virgin for that reason also. Why should I have sex and lose my virginity or birth his kid when he can walk in and out of my life at any given time? Maybe help answer that question before you ask us why would we. Why would you want sex when you know a kid will result from it? Why have sex at all? The same it is for children. People want and desire that. Not everybody does though.

[Asker]

@btbc92 isn't it stupidity! If your men is okay if you not have kids and willing to go for a vasectomy. Nobody ask you a sacrifice.

I have another valid argument in favor of not having kids ie you don't permission of that kid whom you're bringing to this world. You want kids but that kid doesn't want you.

Don't you think it is morally wrong to have kids?

My parents brought me without my consent for that I forgive them. But I get pissed when people tell you owe your parent for bringing you to this world and taking care of you. Here's my take: they didn't have to I wouldn't've cared if they didn't have me coz I would've not existed.

earth has very limited resources if people will more kids it will increase population so is human consumption which will deplete the present natural resources it is not good for the environment.

That's my reasons of not having kids.

[btbc92]

Why would I disrespect my body by ruining myself over a man not wanting children? Having kids is part of life. You don't have to have sex if you don't want them. But it is my responsibility as a wife and mother to be responsible for the choices we make. That is what adults do. Look, God is in control. He decides who we are going to be with and have and not. It is still my job to raise my children in the Lord and for them to do as he commanded. What they do as adults is entirely on them now. As a mother, I am responsible for their upbringing along with my husband. I am ought to love them as I am to love my husband. And teach them the way they should go so they would not depart from God's teaching. Not my own.

"Don't you think it is morally wrong to have kids?" How? God said to be fruitful and multiply. The desire is ours as it is God's for us to have children. The thing is you want to be careful who you have children with. Children are innocent. All they want is for you to love them and for them to love you in return. They don't expect you to be perfect. Just take good care of them and remember that they are their own person too. They are a blessing, not a curse.

[btbc92]

I was conceived outside of wedlock. I am not to proud of the history of my conception either. But I am called to honor thy mother and father as you are ought to. If you went through abuse, then I understand your pain and self-loathing. But it won't help you if you don't want to change and do something more productive in your life.

" Here's my take: they didn't have to I wouldn't've cared if they didn't have me coz I would've not existed." You don't know that. God will have you go where you need to go if you re meant to be down here. Your here for a PURPOSE. You have to find out what your purpose is, That is very important. As I said, you don't have to have children, but you cannot get married or have sex if you're just going to use it as an excuse to be selfish. You must understand that what your doing is selfish, NOT by not having kids, but using it as an excuse to be self-serving and God never said for us to be that way. You can't have kids without having sex, so unless your not going to have sex, you must understand your risk of getting your wife pregnant and being responsible. Children are like byproducts of your love together. However, sense we know not all are conceived in love, that doesn't mean one cannot learn how to. Your child does not have to suffer as you do. You must show that love that you never had, by first understanding what love is, be whole as a person, not be selfish and gain that love within yourself also. Again, all your child want is just mommy and daddy.

[btbc92]

"earth has very limited resources if people will more kids it will increase population so is human consumption which will deplete the present natural resources it is not good for the environment." When God made the earth, the earth was made plentiful. It is man who have robbed the earth of what was freely given to us, and thus have lied about population when it's not true. If that was true, why did he say be fruitful and multiply? Man has lied, God has always told us the truth. However, not everybody would be given to marriage. So if marriage is not for you, don't step in it. If you step in it, then it is no longer what you want any more, but what is expected of you to do as a husband. Even marriage has dynamics and rules.

If a husband of mine wanted a hysterectomy I would feel sad, because that is like saying I am not enough. If I felt that kids were not what I want, which is not when there is so much sin nature, I wouldn't get married or have sex. Not date. Why do you think I am celibate all my life? I'm almost 30, many claim 90% of eggs is gone. At that, was does it matter? If there is no love, why have kids without a stable loving relationship? I cannot bear to bring children to the world and they are being robbed like I was. That doesn't mean I have to mutilate myself for that. God knows. As long as you honor him with your choices, and that includes your body, he will understand that.

[Asker]

Ohk earth is flat! Got it! It made so much sense thank you for the enlightenment.

But I still don't want kids. If by saving the environment I m going to hell, hell is heaven to me!

[pink_macaron]

Most girls want children. Isn't the point to marriage to be committed to each other and start a family?

[Asker]

I don't want kids. Coz it's unnecessary burden.

[Hangry06]

Neither i guess