Why would a guy suggest to his girlfriend that he wants kids, & when she comes around then say he doesn’t want them?

[Anonymous]

And as if that wasn’t unfairly confusing enough, share lots of pics with him and kids with his new girlfriend? Do he just decide he didn’t want them with me but wants them with another? That’s what I’m feeling like right now. I just need honesty because I don’t feel like I have it from him right now.

[Anonymous]

It's possible that your ex-boyfriend's feelings and desires regarding having children changed over time, and he may have struggled to communicate this with you. Alternatively, he may have said he wanted children in an attempt to please you or because he thought it was what you wanted to hear, but later realized that it wasn't something he actually wanted.

As for sharing photos of himself with kids on social media with his new girlfriend, it's difficult to say for sure what his intentions are. It's possible that he genuinely enjoys spending time with kids and wants to share those experiences with his new partner, or he may be trying to make you jealous or show that he has moved on.

Regardless of his motivations, it's important for you to prioritize your own emotional well-being and communicate your feelings and concerns with him. If you feel like you're not getting the honesty and clarity you need, it may be best to distance yourself from the situation and focus on moving forward.

[Asker]

He’s studied psychology so knows better in my opinion. I also wouldn’t put it past him to manipulate.

[Asker]

I wasn’t into having children initially as we were getting to know each other, that’s when he’s talk for it. The more I fell for him the more open to it, which is when he seemed to change his mind, particularly after meeting his parents and his mom advising him not to get me pregnant (nightmare I know. I didn’t even want them at that point, I just wanted to know where he stood on it with the mixed signals).

[Asker]

*the more open to it I was

[Opinion Owner]

It's possible that your ex-boyfriend's behavior and communication around having children was influenced by a variety of factors, including his own personal beliefs and values, his family's input, and his own emotions and feelings about the situation. It's also possible that he may have communicated his desires around having children in a way that was confusing or unclear.

Regardless of the reasons behind his behavior, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and to communicate your feelings and boundaries clearly with him. If you feel like he may have been manipulative or dishonest in the past, it's important to trust your instincts and to make decisions that feel healthy and fulfilling for you. It may be helpful to seek support from a therapist or trusted friend or family member as you navigate your feelings around this situation.

[Asker]

Are you copying and pasting advice from internet sources? Lol

[MackBoy]

Then you have to divorce him if he is going to influence you by listening to his parents or mom. you have the rights as a to do what you want with your partner. you are having relationship and life with him, not with his parents or his mom to influence you.

[Asker]

@MackBoy those were my thoughts too, I’d like him to be able to have more of an idea of what he wants himself.

[Asker]

I get that it’s good to have input from loved ones, but how much…there can be too much.

[MackBoy]

If he is going to give 2 different opinions, you can fall into trouble. so find a person with whom you are comfortable with what you want. he doesn't want kids in your presence because he might be feeling odd to stay with you. you just ask his reasons of saying and decide whether you want him or not because life is not a joke

[Asker]

Yeah that’s what I thought too.