Should I leave him be? Is I miss you desperate?

[Anonymous]

A man that I started talking to it started in person we met in public and hung out the time he was in town. Nothing sexual happened just a kiss, he left and then it became long distance. We spoke every day but nothing too serious until about a two months ago. We planned a trip for me to come visit him during the weekend since we hadn’t seen each other since our first meeting in person. Leading up to our weekend together we FaceTime hours every day texted constantly and were in constant communication. He was married once before and divorced a year and a half ago. It ended horribly she cheated and stole from him and overall left him feeling pretty broken. He says I am the first person he allowed himself to open up to since being with her and how I reminded him that there are good and loving people still in this world. A few days before I’m to come visit him, his ex shows up at his doorstep with bags saying that her boyfriend kicked her out and she had nowhere to go. And she wants him back. He let her stay in his guest house for a day and then told her she had to leave. He was very honest and open about everything that he was feeling. Meaning even though he knows he doesn’t want her back seeing her brought up nostalgic feelings and re-opened some wounds that he thought were healed. But he wanted her gone. He told me we should plan for me to come visit another time because if I came now he wouldn’t be fully present. I told him I’d give him however much space he needs if he felt like he needed to isolate himself. We haven’t texted since that day. He told me he knows I’m a good woman but he needs time. And I said I’d wait for him. He still looks at my social media but rarely posts on his anymore. Except once saying he was visiting home recently for his bday coming up. I want to wish him a happy birthday and tell him I hope he’s taking care of himself and I think of him but I don’t wanna to be too much.

[SueShe]

From what I read, you are obviously infatuated in this guy. Be careful not to let it go too far.

I am personally not convinced that he is as innocent as you describe him. If he was really over his ex wife and honest, he would never have let her stay with him. He would have shut the door to her face because he would know better. Letting her in is opening the Pandora's box.

Now, he is "stuck" and needs more time to settle the issue. My feeling is will slowly move back together with him under futile pretexts and he will not be capable to say no.

Don't tell me that you miss him because that will only add to the burden he has to face. If he is serious about you, he will let you know in due time.

[Asker]

True you’re right. I’m a little confused on what u mean by what you mean with
My feeling is will slowly move back together with him under futile pretexts and he will not be capable to say no

[SueShe]

What I meant to say is that SHE will want to move back with him under futile pretexts and he will feel obligated to take her back because she is trying to wiggle her way in.

[stillagoodgirl]

A simple Happy birthday on social media wouldn't be too much. It's public and probably less daunting than contacting him via phone. And if he doesn't respond it also feels less personal.

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah. If a person doesn’t express the same feelings towards you. You need to come to terms and stop.


That’s called having self respect and worth

[boggboss]

Just shoot him a message

[Asker]

Do I wait till his birthday? It’s in 2 days. I don’t really know what else I’d say haha

[boggboss]

If you want or ask him how he is doing and you hope he is OK

[Asker]

Thanks

[Iron_Man]

That girls always going to be involved