Am I unlikeable?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been getting a lot of guys numbers recently, we’ll talk, flirt and everything seems cool. I’ll text them a day or two after just not to see desperate yet I don’t get a reply and if I do get a reply, they stop after a few texts. What is wrong with me?

Updates

+1 y

Oh I’m fat that’s why

[SteveSmith1985]

So, this question made me sad. Then I read your update... it made me feel even worse. THEN I thought:

"wait... maybe some asshole called her 'fat' in the comments... and she's referencing it SARCASTICALLY"

So I felt a little better as I scrolled through the comments looking for the asshole who called you fat... and... nope. That was you. All you. So... this question has bummed me out.

I don't know you. But I can say that I've known a lot of people. A lot. And honestly maybe I've met 10 or 15 unlikeable people over all these years. I highly doubt you're unlikeable.

I can probably help you figure out what might be going wrong. You'd have to message me and give me a whole lot more details of what's happened with specific guys. I'm usually pretty good at parsing out what's going on in social/romantic situations. Usually I'll have some suggestions about why some guy acted some way.

What bugs me about your situation in particular is that you ARE putting yourself out there. Much of the time the problem is in the "how do I meet/approach a guy". You seem to have no problem with that step. Something is going off the rails at some point after that.

I'm not going to try and guess, because I don't know any details. But if you'd like, feel free to shoot me a message and maybe I can give you some idea of what might maybe be going wrong. If you don't wanna message me, that's no problem at all 🙂

[buddysboy16]

I think you're waiting too long between texts. Also, in my opinion, there's nothing wrong with texting right back. People need to grow up. There's nothing desperate about responding quickly

[Asker]

Plenty of people think it looks desperate I thought I was just playing it safe

[buddysboy16]

First of all, yeah many people do consider it desperate which is a whole pet peeve of mine so don't get me started. Second, there's there's difference between not replying right away and waiting too long to reply.

Waiting over a day probably makes it seem like you aren't interested at all

[Asker]

I just wait a day or two to send the first text I never wait a day to respond unless a miss the notification or something

[buddysboy16]

Maybe try waiting less for the first text

[horatiohornblower]

Try to FaceTime or call instead or tell them to call you. You might just be awkward at texting.

[dudeinohio]

Maybe the lack of texting them forward day or 2 after is a sign of disinterest, so they figure you aren't into them.

[Asker]

Okay but I’m holding conversation, it isn’t like I’m ignoring them or taking forever to respond