Dating a woman 15 years older than me, how can I tell it to my parents?

Question

I'm 24 years old, she's 39 but looks much younger. Conversely, I look older, so we were both surprised to find out each other's actual age (I thought she was 30 or something and she thought I was older).
My parents are particular but laid back, yet I'm afraid they wouldn't approve of my relationship. Should I keep quiet, or introduce her to them? She'd like to be introduced to them, but says it's alright if I don't want to for now. I feel especially conscious about my mother's opinion, since she's barely two years older than her. But my father is 60, so I hope they'd approve because they too have a 20 years age difference...

Updates

+1 y

I was afraid for nothing, I told them and they are alright with it as long as I'm happy.
Thank you for the answers, tomorrow they'll meet her

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I'm married to a man 16 years younger, so I was in a similar situation (except the parents would be my in laws). At some level you've got to be OK with the parents being a bit uncomfortable with the age gap at first. It's a very unconventional thing for such a big age difference to happen, so you can't blame your parents for being a bit worried at the beginning. Be sure to tell them the age difference before she meets them though as if they feel the initial shock before she meets the parents that could make building a good relationship much more difficult then if you tell them before hand and they have time to process it before they meet her. Over time if you and her have a great relationship that has a big age gap they'll eventually become comfortable with it and accept it. However, you've got to be patient with that. You can't expect it to happen right when they meet her.
One more thing to consider is the whole "kids" thing. My in-laws were really against the age gap at first. I think it was because I was 39 years old with 2 kids from a previous marriage (so they'd assumed I wasn't able to have more and/or wasn't interested in having more). However, once I got pregnant the age gap didn't seem to bother them anymore. When I got pregnant the second time they were completely fine with it. If you're planning on having kids with her that might calm their fears a bit (if having grandkids is their main concern, which it might be). However, if you and her aren't planning on having more kids (if your relationship reaches that point) that could be a big point of contention with them if they really want grandkids. I'm not so sure what to advise on that because it wasn't an issue with us, but I know if I hadn't wanted more kids (or had been unable to have them) it would have been a major issue.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

You're an adult now. Just keep it to yourself and see how the relationship goes. There's no rush in introducing them all.
And yes, it may be difficult for them. But you never know, some people can surprise you with their openmindedness.

MJtheCoach · Accepted Answer

I’m 40 and I date 20/23/24/25 year olds all the time.
But I do think guys dating younger girls is more acceptable then other way around.

Regardless you gotta let your parents see the girl for her sweet side first.

Don’t just come out with her age.
If she’s a cool girl? Let your parents see that side of her.
One day say you guys would be okay if I told you we both like each other because of the age differ nice?

You’re not planning to have kids or anything with her? Right?

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

You don't have to mention her age when you introduce her to your parents. And if they ask (they may or may not), be honest and answer truthfully.

Being a parent myself, parents are more interested in how the two of you get along... are you compatible. Age is generally not that important. And if it is, it depends on how important your parents' opinion is... on your relationship.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Tell your father first, then tell you mother once he his grasped and hopefully accepted the news

I once bought a drink for a woman who I thought was 23-24 but she was 30 and I was 21 looking about 26-27

Nothing happened beyond that drink because she didn't want it to and I could respect that

jim009 · Answer

Hmm, if there was no age gap would you introduce her? There is your answer on what to do. If you do introduce her have fun with it, don't mention the age and then when they love her already towards the end of the evening bring it up gently.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Introduce her to them, but don't bring up the age.
I can't really recall if I ever brought up the age of who I was with to my parents.
As long as the both of you are fine with it, that is what really matters.
Now if you were 16 and she was 30, that is different.

Iron_Man · Answer

Just tell them but is there a reason for it do you have a grandma fetish? Usually it’s the complete opposite

jekyllhyde · Answer

🤷🏻 You tell them anyway you feel is right. The truth. Don’t think too much on it and just make it simple. If they ask questions, answer it in the most direct way. If they don’t, no worries

okeydoke · Answer

I think you should give them a chance. Especially if it’s someone you imagine long term potential with.

loveslongnails · Answer

Are your parents dating her? No. None of their business.

exitseven · Answer

You are an adult. You can make your own decisions.

ChiPaPa · Answer

Just tell em. It's your life.

msc545 · Answer

Don't tell your parents. It's your business.

Dating a woman 15 years older than me, how can I tell it to my parents?

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