Dating a girl 20 years older?

[Anonymous]

I am 26 she is 46 but she looks waaaay younger. I keep hitting her up and she keeps saying she wants to be "just friends", but she always wants to go out and invites me to her place... what can I do to convince her? Should I be more patient?

[HollyK21]

“Should I be more patient?” Crazy for you to say “more patient” as if she asked for you to wait in the first place.


As a woman who’s been in her shoes several times all I can do is shake my head at this post. Why must you treat rejection like an obstacle course to surpass and not an actual boundary she’s trying to set? Because your wants matter more? Because she’s trying to hang out with you? Isn’t that what friends do? I’m willing to bet money that you wouldn’t bat a lash if it were your male friends asking you to go out or come hang but because it’s a woman (who ‘keeps’ trying to friendzone you by the way), and a woman that you like a lot, you think it means something. It doesn’t and she’s repeatedly told you as much.



“I keep hitting her up and she keeps saying she just wants to be friends” damn, talk about letting someone’s words go through one ear and out the other. Why not try actually being receptive? You seem to think that if you can convince her that age ain’t nothing but a number she’ll come around but it’s more to it than that. If she doesn’t want to date, and date you more specifically, then swallow your pride and respect that boundary. Then give yourself some distance from this woman so you can move past your crush on her and maybe one day be able to be an actual friend and not a fake one where you’re secretly biding your time and hoping for change. That route is fake, it’s deceitful and it’s unwarranted.

[Asker]

So I should cut her off?
Might be the only option instead of wasting time with her

[Asker]

Maybe it's a matter of cutting my losses vs sunk costs

[HollyK21]

If your intentions are to either hope she comes around or convince her, then yeah, cut your losses.

[beenherebefore]

More patient with what? She said she just wants to be friends, what exactly do you want to be patient with?

[Zack-Bann]

You’re not dating her.
You’re haggling with her.


You cannot logically convince someone into dating you


If she says no she says no.


She keeps inviting you over because it’s very flattering and validating for her to be desired by a man so much younger
But she’s also clearly not open to the pitfalls that come with such a relationship


And as someone who did that himself (24 -44) i can tell you there is a glass ceiling.


It can be going perfectly but the age will come
Between you sooner or later

[HelpfulGirlll]

@Zack-Bann well said

[HelpfulGirlll]

Respect her boundaries and be prepared for the possibility that "just friends" truly means "just friends".

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach on a mission to help hearts connect, diving into the dating scene is my jam! It sounds like she's enjoying your company, but the "just friends" line is a classic sign to tread lightly. Trying to change how she feels could backfire, so being patient and respectful of her boundaries is your best bet. Keep the vibes fun and genuine, and who knows? Keep it cool like a refreshing Cali breeze, and maybe she'll see you in a new light. 😉 Remember, love has its own mysterious timing! 💖

[Anonymous]

any adult who has a decent mature mind would say no to dating a 26 yr old. this is a good sign she is a decent person

[hello4433]

Be more patient. A lot more patient

[Jeff51]

Try it for a shirt bit. See where it goes.

[Anonymous]

It's your personal choice.

[Opinion Owner]

I would rather date a girl 20 years younger.