Is it weird to still wanna marry a woman who doesn't wanna be a mother?

[Anonymous]

[btbc92]

That's called desperation and settling. Unless you truly love her regardless of what you would have wanted, be careful with that decision. Because marriage is supposed to be forever until you both leave this earth. Don't just up and marry a person whom you have not prepared to share "forever" with. Children is a highly serious topic. And if you really desire children, then please, don't marry a person who doesn't before you get heartbroken. And if she ends up pregnant, what will be her reaction? Is she the type to rush into an abortion and not tell you? God forbid feel neutral towards the child? Or are you just hoping she may change her mind sometime in the future?

Please remember that she is not a teenager anymore, she is an adult. And as both of you are adults, both of you need to make long-term adult decisions. It is still your choice and hers to go through with that, but I personally would not suggest it if you expect to have the future you really want. You're going to have to figure out what she doesn't want to be a mom and make sure there are rational reasons for it and be mindful that while I wouldn't agree with birth control, your sex life may be limited given the fact to lower the risk of pregnancy.

[Asker]

Honestly, I'd want a wife much more than I'd want children, but some have said marriage is pointless without kids.

[btbc92]

Marriage is marriage. To be blessed to have children is just as wonderful as having a marriage as well as being in singlehood if one desires so. I don't think people have the right to judge, because some people and couples may be unable to have children. And adoption is harder also. However, can you find a wife in this person? That is the question. You want to make sure this person is healthy-minded before you get a person who simply resents you and that is not something you want to marry into. It is better to be alone than to settle. I am not saying you shouldn't love her or marry her. But that to be mindful WHOM you marry because even for men, who you marry determines your future. While mostly a warning for women, it applies to men also. Can you find yourself being happy and do you find satisfaction/pleasure (not sexually) in a woman for you to marry? It is very important that you can be able to find little to no fault for this person. If you are not concerned about children, and that is something both of you are certain about, then others' opinions shouldn't hold a factor if their opinions are not something you believe. Just be forewarned again, that it will be your marriage, and therefore what you know now will determine what kind of marriage and life you two are seeking. Once married you cannot turn back. You have to keep moving forward in your life.

[btbc92]

For me personally, I am neutral when it comes down to having children. Not because I wouldn't want them or love them. I would because they're children, their mine and my husband (hypothetically speaking), and it is my duty to take care of them. If anything, I wouldn't want to have them unmarried out of wedlock or with a man who won't love me, take care of me and them or respects me sexually, emotionally, etc. Again, hypothetically speaking. A woman especially needs to feel safe in having children with a man. So again, you need to evaluate what is the real issue is. Is it other people who are trying to push you into having kids, or is it that you equally want children, but the person you desire children with, doesn't desire children herself? Or does she maybe want kids, just not with you? Not to sound rude or hurt your feelings, but you have to ask all of these questions, especially if these are insecurities of yours.

[tatianamay]

Well, the real question you have to ask yourself is, do YOU want kids?
If you do, then think about this, you get married, your wife doesn't want kids, you try to change her mind, she gets mad, you get mad, everyone gets frustrated, both of you grow apart, and the marriage ends in divorce.
However, if you are neutral, or at least, you are sure that you do not want kids, or you want kids, but you would be willing to give that up for your fiance, then dont change her mind. Accept the fact that she does not want kids, and be happy with her. I saw your replies to other comments, and you should know that its YOUR life, not anyone else's

[EmbraceThePain]

Well, not weird to me.

[dustybiker]

Just don’t think you’ll change her mind. You’ll only waste each others time.

[Anonymous]

Do you want kids? You can marry, but you will be void/unhappy.