Girls do you feel insecure before a date?

[Anonymous]

The joys of being a woman in modern day society and it’s messed up beauty standards.

A reason I hardly go on dates is because I feel insecure beforehand. I worry that I might not be as pretty as the guy initially remembered me to be. Maybe my nose is too big or my skin isn’t nice.

Anybody else feel insecure beforehand too?

[ohshee]

Insecure about what what do you have to be insecure about no matter what it is I bet you you're the only person that can see it I have a good idea for you say fuck you insecurities because I'm confident who I am I'd like myself I love myself I have nothing to be afraid of I don't care if this guy likes me or if he doesn't like me I don't care if he judges me because the only judgment that matters is my own and who cares what other people even thinks what they see you for 2 seconds can you think their judgement matters it doesn't matter every single one of us has flaws if you want to be honest except for me of course LOL haha look at none of us are perfect and we don't want to be perfect we want to be able to live life and be happy and smile we can't do that if we are perfect because there's always in the insecurities there's always something fuck that something I go out of my way to be cuz I don't care what other people think walking down the street somebody's looking at me what are they going to say they don't like my shirt my hair's too short I have underwear lines LOL and they keep walking and I keep walking if I spend all my time thinking about what other people are thinking I would be so freaking boring it was wearing me out so I could care less you are who you are except yourself and smile you know you going to get to the end of your line one day is it all this time that is past and you could have been living life but you were too caught up in what other people think or what you feel did other people think are you at you're not good enough for this or that fuck all that you are beautiful human being enjoy that be that person let the rest go

[Asker]

You’re totally right!

[Lliam]

I was always nervous and excited before a first date. I already thought she was attractive or I wouldn't have asked her out in the first place, but the purpose of a date is to have fun and get to know someone. But you never know how well you will click. Different people have different attitudes, values and standards.
Do you like how they dress, talk and behave? Does your conversation flow? Do they find each other sexually appealing?
If the two of you don't click, it's a reflection on you.

[Hellothere543212]

It depends on how I am feeling at the time really… maybe not insecure, but definitely more self critical. I take a lot more time trying to conceal my flaws than I would meeting a friend. So I guess dating does stimulate a form of insecurity.

I think sometimes if I take my time to get ready; shower, shave, moisturise, makeup, hair and nice outfit before I go, then I will feel confident. Yet no matter how great I feel, I still always have that sense of doubt, what if he doesn’t find me attractive… I guess that’s quite sad that dating can make us criticise ourselves on a good day. But on the other hand, doubt and insecurity are human; men don’t want perfection or a robot.

[Sarahdelacruz]

Yes I always do. I feel the exact same way as you. I get overly complimented by men online so I overthink like what if he sees me in person & feels like I’m not as beautiful as he thought I was from my photos. I also never know what to wear. I struggle walking in heels so that’s not an option. I feel like the only way I would be able to go on a date is if it’s with a guy I met in person first because that way he already knows what exactly I look like. There’s no expectations that may lead to disappointment.

[Asker]

I relate to you so much!

[jennifer_bloom]

I know a lot of good guys and they tell me their girl just has to have attractive features or charisma, and being perfect or supremely beautiful is not necessary for them to stay interested. If a guy expects you to look like a super model or dumps you for minor flaws, he’s not a loyal guy to begin with.

[DianaWest]

yeah, i don't want him to be disappointed when he sees my body. :( ugh. i feel like i am competing with a bunch of Victoria Secret models and i feel my body will never look like that. i am about 10 lbs overweight and don't think i'll ever achieve a perfect body. whatever. guess ill just die alone with my 10 cats.

[DianaWest]

also, i hate eating in front of hot guys. like, it makes me feel so weird. i feel like he might think i am scarfing everything down like a pig (God forbid if the food falls and stains my pretty clothes), but if i eat too slowly, he might think it'll take me 2 hours to eat 3 shrimp. so i hate dinner dates. i'd rather go to the park, movies, beach, or grab a drink or something, but nothing involving food.

[Asker]

I totally agree with you on this one!!

[Little_Bumblebee]

I always feel insecure/nervous when meeting people for the first time, especially dates and stuff like that.
(and exams, public presentations, or job interviews). So basically when I know I'm going to be judged in such a concentrated amount, I will be insecure and/or nervous.

[Fireguy17]

It even happens to guys.
I have no issues what so ever walking into a fully engulfed structure to either rescue someone or to put the fire out, but that long walk to ask a girl to dance or meeting for a first date, shudders.
I probably check to make sure my zipper is up 10 time, I don't have something stuck in my teeth, sweaty palms, that funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Not fun at all.

[sensible27]

If you're under the perception that, that's all your date is looking for your perception of your date and dating as a whole reflect

[Asker]

It shouldn’t be and out of all the guys I’ve dated one of them was very verbally abusive. He made comments every date picking out every single imperfection I had. He also broke up with me. I was really young and dumb but it stuck with me ever since.

[sensible27]

The trick to having things not affect you, is understanding them. Also depends on who you choose, and who you like. It's up to you, if someone was irrational I don't know what I'd do if I was younger but I'd just not like them a lot anymore.. but if you yourself don't care about personality a lot, you might not get someone with necessarily the thought process you like

[Asker]

That’s true. I was really young and inexperienced at the time. I would never put up with that today. It was really apparent he was insecure too but as a woman these things put you down. There were imperfections that I didn’t even realise I had until I dated him. Imagine he pointed them out on our first date.

[sensible27]

Is it too intrusive to ask exactly what he pointed out? I can't really understand what he would possibly say

[Asker]

I guess it’s fine lol. He pointed out my teeth (I've since got braces), my big eyes, saying I needed to lose weight etc

[sensible27]

Really depends on how he said it, also it's not really up to him but sure he can criticise

[Aerissa_Jade]

First dates for sure, but not those afterwards.

We are our own worst critics, but once I met him he is usually pretty nervous or insecure as well.

[weysally]

no I have never felt that, nervous yes, but I was told a long time ago,
no ine out there is better than me, and I am no better than anyone else

[Cubus]

I am not a girl, but I also feel insecure before dating.

[Asker]

Does that mean you’re not as judgmental of the girl?

[Cubus]

Personality is more important for me than looks.

[Cubus]

And yeah, I am shy toward the opposite sex. I am afraid if I am good enough for her.

[Asker]

Totally agree with you

[Cubus]

I think I stands out, because most guys are visuals. But not everyone :) so don't worry Alyssa!

[Asker]

It should definitely be that way though! Looks always fade. Thank you

[Cubus]

Yes. Caring about look is shallow. There is a risk you will get bored this way, after sometime. That's why relationship should be based on bond and trust.

[Asker]

Sure it’s very shallow

[Cubus]

Can I tell you sth personal?

[Asker]

Sure go for it

[Cubus]

I'm actually a virgin and want to wait for marriage. I don't really care about both sex and looks. Bond with the girl is the most important for me.

[Asker]

That sounds perfect actually. I’m also a virgin because I only want to sleep with a person I have a genuine bond with.

[Cubus]

I feel the same. I'm not into casual sex. I want to do this only with the person I had a true bond with. A person I could trust in 100%.

[whirled_up_girl]

Oh sure, I think that's normal, we want to look our best and not say or do anything dumb.

[Somegirl678]

thats why getting compliments from guys really helps

[Having_hope]

No, mostly I guess that the guy physically will like me. But I'm more insecure that our mindsets would not match.

[WtfLife1]

I used to, now I just feel anxious so I don't fuck something up.

[J3LueMooN]

I think you will have trouble with food. the best is to go to dinner and ask for a salad :D

[Anonymous]

I'm a guy and I don't date at all because I feel that I look like shit.

[emperor90]

As i guy i would be insecure

[Elisabeth1985]

Yes more hoping I don’t mess up.

[England4eva]

All. The. Time.

[Anonymous]

It's natural to feel so.

[Tstrbrainer]

Don't worry.