Girls, would you give a guy a chance if he goes on 4 dates with you but never makes a move or shows interest?

[Anonymous]

Yes I would continue to date him

No I would bring it up or no longer date him

[muscularbumblebee]

No, I would have expected him to have at least tried to kiss me by then or made a move if he didn’t I would make the move myself. Sex I get and I would wait for as I don’t want to rush on first date or seccond but as for moves in general and flirting I don’t want to go on a date with someone who is just like my friend.


If he doesn’t make a move then I will, if he doesn’t like it then I’ll move on

[Asker]

What kind of move would you make?

[muscularbumblebee]

A few cheeky comments here and there (nothing sexual) playful touching maybe arm and such. Or locking eyes looking at lips if I think it’s the time or kiss

[Xoxocutekitty]

It's not difficult to tell if a guy is shy but really wants to kiss (or do more).

If by the 4th date, I don't see that hungry look at least once, then I'll bring up the topic of ending the romantic situation.

We can be friends if we have overlapping hobbies and amicable strangers if not.

[Asker]

What’s the hungry look?

[jennifer_bloom]

I would if he liked me but was shy, would not if he did not like me.

[Asker]

How would you tell which it was?

[jennifer_bloom]

Well I would assume that a guy likes you of he is paying for dates and spending time with you

[Commander_Red]

I wouldn't even bring it up. I'd tell him I'm not interested anymore and move on.

I kissed a guy on our third date who never made any moves to show that it was okay to show affection and then it's like his mind went from 0 to 100 because he immediately wanted to sleep with me. Long story short, I was completely turned off by how fast he went from there. If he had just let the moment be what it was - a kiss - maybe I would still be seeing him 🤷

Now I wouldn't dare make the first move towards a guy who shows disinterest lol.

[EllieFayre]

It depends because if he's the one who initiates to date me 4 times then I would think that he's still interested in me, it just that he's shy but maybe he's just forcing himself to date me if that his reason. I think, I would ask him if he's really interested in me or not because we can stop those dates. Both of us are just wasting our time if we are forcing each other to have fun in those dates. 😅 I hope I answer your question.

[Asker]

Would you ask this question directly? I went on 4 dates with someone and never made a move other than briefly hugging her. And then she said to me she really enjoys spending time with me but thinks more as friends and then asked how I’m feeling about it. And then said she understands if I don’t want to meet her anymore.

[Asker]

Was that her way of indirectly asking what you just said?

[EllieFayre]

Are you shy when you are dating with her or are you just respecting her as a man? 😅 Because you mentioned that you are giving her a brief hug. But wait, what do you really feel when you both are dating? 😅

[Asker]

I’m shy.

[EllieFayre]

Ohhh okay but it depends on the woman because maybe she's telling you the truth that she is looking at you nothing more than as a friend or maybe she is telling you in the nicest way as possible.

What do you feel about her? Do you think that she is more than a friend to you or just also a friend?

[Asker]

I find her attractive but I’m socially awkward.

[EllieFayre]

Ohhh okay, well if you want to spend time with her, you can still spend time with her as a friend. You also mentioned before that she enjoyed spending time with you. It's still your choice, mister stranger. :) Just do on what makes you feel comfortable. Good luck!

[Asker]

But I want to date her.

[EllieFayre]

Ohhh but she already told you that you are nothing but as a friend, right? Maybe you can change her mind if you both spend more time and get to know each other. You can't force her to like you more as a friend. Just be patient if you want to and start to practice to initiate more, mister.

[Asker]

No her exact words were “I have been thinking and I really really enjoy spending time with you but I think more as friends. How are feeling about it? I understand if you no longer want to meet tomorrow! I hope your week is going okay x”

[Asker]

Is that just a nice way of rejecting me?

[EllieFayre]

Ohhh shoot! I didn't read it right. 😅 Well, congrats that you both feel the same then. I think, don't overthink it too much on what did she say to you. That's a good sign on what she said to you. Just enjoy the date! Good luck to the both of you. 💖

[Asker]

Do we feel the same way? I thought she’s saying she doesn’t want to date me?

[EllieFayre]

Why would you think that? You exactly mentioned here “I have been thinking and I really really enjoy spending time with you but I think more as friends. How are feeling about it? I understand if you no longer want to meet tomorrow! I hope your week is going okay x”

She's the one who mentioned that she understands if YOU don't want to meet her tomorrow. As I just said before, don't overthink too much on what she said. Are we good, mister anonymous? 😅

[Asker]

Because she wants friendship and I want to date her? Therefore we’re not wanting the same thing? So no point continuing then.

[EllieFayre]

Okay, hmmm. If you don't want to waste your time on spending time with her because she will just treat you as just as her friend then you can stop meeting with her. She mentioned that she understands if you don't want to meet her anymore.

[Daniela1982]

It depends if I could tell if he actually had any interest. If he didn't show any the first two there wouldn't be any others. Yet I would wonder if he hadn't had some interest why he would have asked me out except for the free company and conversation. I believe in going Dutch treat so would have paid my own date expenses.

[Aerissa_Jade]

If I was interested in him, I'd talk to him about it. See what his intentions are, but I would also know by the first date if he was super shy or something too.

I usually have a serious talk with a guy at date #6 before proceeding any further and wasting both our time, if things won't work out.

[devilish-cutie]

yes I would if i liked him as well
4 days to me isn't that long, things should come naturally, i dont like the preassure and expectations of dating, just be ysf
and i dont understand what you means by "shows interest" cause if he is going on dates w me, thats interest

[devilish-cutie]

4 dates*

[Киттйлинк]

If I really like the guy and he doesn't make a move, then I will. If he doesn't like me then I'll know and we can both move on. When you want something go for it if nothing else is happening.. if not you both stretch out a long pointless waist of time.. nobody gives you back time don't waste it hoping someone else will always do the first move, you do it if it's not happening.

[NotTacocaT6969]

If he shows no interest. I’m going to assume he’s not interested a d stop wasting my time.


Are men teaching eachother that acting disinterested is how you get a lady?

[Asker]

What does disinterested mean?

[NotTacocaT6969]

The opposite of interested.

[Asker]

I mean what does it look like?

[dustybiker]

People don’t usually make a second date without some spark of interest. Nobody wants to waste their time.

[midnightmoon05]

Ever girl is diff. Try holing her hand that’s one way to know.
I dumped the guy after the 4th date. I wasn’t interested. I know he was and didn’t want to hurt his feelings more.

[Rainbow30]

If I really like him, I would still date him. But, maybe I'll ask if he's interested because idf not we're just wasting our time.

[RedStiletto88]

I wouldn’t have given him a second date if he didn’t show any interest in me in the first date.

[Asker]

How would he need to show interest?

[RedStiletto88]

By getting to know my interests and actually showing that he enjoys being with me and not just the thought of having sex with me.

[Asker]

I always ask about interests etc and never bring up sex or intimacy and I always get told they just want to be friends.

[Anonymous]

I'd not even go on a second date if he did not show interest in me, which is easy, ask about my life and get to know me. I can wait longer than 4 dates to get physically close.

[Asker]

What if he’s shy because he likes you?

[Opinion Owner]

well, he need to get to know me before he can like me?

[Fayeleo]

but who initiated the 3 other dates? If it was him, then that counts as move no? Otherwise why would he want to see the girl the other 3 times?

[Agape93]

Nope. Those four dates are his chances. Impress me or I walk

[Asker]

How would he need to impress?

[Agape93]

That's something he'd have to figure out. If I set out certain things to do, people would just do that instead of genuinely impressing me on their own.

[Asker]

Playing games?

[Agape93]

Huh?

[annabananna]

Yea, if I was single I would love that. I’d feel like he was trying to get to know me and enjoyed my company even if it didn’t involve anything physical.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Why would I be dating someone who doesn't even show interest?

[nice-girl]

Yes, inviting me on the dates is the move. Maybe he’s thinking about it without rushing.

[Anonymous]

I would continue dating for a couple more times if he hasn’t made a move yet but if he’s not showing interest then I’m out asap

[Asker]

Why are you out?

[Opinion Owner]

If he’s not showing any interest then I don’t wanna waste my time. I can understand him not making a move if he’s shy or something but if he’s not even showing any interest in me then why should I bother?

[Asker]

What if he is very shy and socially awkward but finds you attractive?

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t mind if he’s shy or socially awkward at all, but I would at least need verbal reassurance that he’s interested in me lol

[Asker]

If he continues to ask you on dates, is that sufficient verbal assurance?

[Opinion Owner]

Not really, I’d assume he’s just asking me out to “hang out” and not as a date lol You can just casually tell her “I like you/I’m interested in you as more than a friend”. Do you tell the girl that you’re going out with that it’s a date? Or do just go “hey u wanna go out and blablabla?”

[Asker]

No I say it’s a date every time. But after the 4th one, she said to me she really enjoys spending time with me but she thinks more as friends. Then asked me how I’m feeling about it

[Opinion Owner]

Did you tell her how you feel about her?

[Asker]

I said to her I’d find it too difficult to be friends with her as I find her attractive so I’ll leave it up to her if she wants to meet or just part ways. And she said probably better not to meet then as it could get confusing.

[Asker]

She also said she’s afraid of covid again so bad timing too

[Opinion Owner]

Ah okay, it probably means that she's interested in you only as a friend and it has nothing to do with you not making a move on her

[Asker]

I wonder why I always get told this though. I must be doing something wrong.

[Opinion Owner]

For me personally if a guy doesn’t make a move (even just a little one) by the end of the third/fourth date then I just stop expecting it from him and shift to a friendship vibe immediately. But I don't know if it’s the same thing with your girl, did she attempt to make any moves on you?

[Asker]

No she didn’t. Or at least I don’t thinks she did. Why do you shift to a friendship vibe?

[Asker]

Is a brief hug a move?

[Opinion Owner]

Bc sometimes the spark is just not there and you only realize it after going on dates with them for a couple of times. A hug is just a friendly move in my book, it’s just something that you also do with a friend

[Asker]

Can the spark die if the guy doesn’t make a move?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah definitely especially in the early stages. It’s different once we’re in an actual relationship

[Asker]

Can it be rekindled once it dies?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course, but then again it depends on the person.

[KatherineJ]

If he didn’t at least show that he was interested, I wouldn’t have accepted a date beyond the third one. That wouldn’t have been fair to him, or me.

[iconic__lay]

No because that looks like you aren’t interested in me so why would I continue to waste time with you

[xJayleenx]

No I’d feel sad especially as a shy girl the guy has to make a move and kiss me

[Asker]

Would you give him another chance if he asked?

[xJayleenx]

Of course

[Uptowngirl88]

Why would I even go on a second date with a guy like that? He's immediately off the roster

[Anonymous]

Why should I give a chance to someone who doesn't interest about me?

[Flower7]

Going on dates IS showing interest.