My boyfriend still has old dating profiles, should I be concerned?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend still has old dating profiles. They seem to be inactive but he constantly gets messages and emails on his phone from them and from other women. I use his phone because I broke mine so I constantly see them. I've talked to him about it and we've argued. He says they're just old accounts, but he still gets messages on those accounts. He says he doesn't know how to delete the accounts. I've been trying to let it go but evey time he gets a new message or email, I get curious, suspicious and insecure. Could anyone give me any advice? I'm really confused. I've been lied to and cheated on in the past. And even manipulated and used. So you would see why this would be hard for me to ignore but I love him. It's the best relationship I've ever been in, and the longest. His family is like family to me. And mine is like family to him. Do I have reason to not trust him? Or is it just baggage from the past scarring me?

Updates

+1 y

He's on a dating site called cheaters.. That freaked me out

[Anonymous]

Regardless of what’s going on I do think you should prioritize healing your past traumas so that you can grow with your boyfriend with harboring those insecurities and making him pay for what your ex’s did. On the other hand, I wouldn’t advise completely writing this off. I believe that women are graced with intuition and if yours is trying to warn you then don’t ignore it. I’ve used dating apps in the past and it is not hard to delete them, because the button is usually in the account. So unless he just doesn’t feel like trying then I’m not really buying that he doesn’t know how to delete them.

[Opinion Owner]

**without harboring

[kyleelyn199723]

You need to stop bringing your past into new relationships. I don’t see an issue here. Just because he is getting new messages and emails, doesn’t mean he is active on it. Those apps and websites need activity from people, so whenever you aren’t active they probably send tons of emails until you become active again on it. There’s nothing to worry about. I think you need to take your boyfriends word for it and move on

[horatiohornblower]

If he doesn’t understand tech stuff. Maybe he doesn’t one hour to delete them. Offer to delete them for him. His answer will give you better insight into his intentions.

[horatiohornblower]

Maybe he doesn't know how to delete them.

I've got to pay better attention to what the phone is putting in when I'm swiping on the keyboard.

[boggboss]

Lol u believed he didn't know how to delete the accounts 🤣🤣🤣

[boggboss]

What I will say tho if the account is inactive what's the issue

[boggboss]

This has got to be a joke

[Asker]

What's a joke? I'm seriously, very insecure and have really bad trust issues and anxiety. I know this. But it makes being in a relationship really hard for me

[boggboss]

From what u have said here is reason alone why u shouldn't be in a relationship even if everything was fine u would be creating issues because u are not in a healthy headspace for a relationship to work that aside u clearly don't trust him so why are u with him

[Asker]

Because I love him.. Isn't that always the answer? Because it's the best relationship I've ever had despite the issues. He's my best friend. I've never been so close to someone in a relationship before, it's hard to let go. I don't want to hurt him. His family is like family to me. My family is like family to him. I don't know how to walk away from something like that

[Asker]

I don't want to walk away from something so good. But you're right I'm not in a healthy headspace.

[boggboss]

That u can say this is the best relationship u have ever had whilst being in a state where u clearly don't trust him yet say he is your best friend shows how damaged u are and that u never allowed yourself to heal and by getting into this relationship without that healing has put this 1 at risk and no loving him won't make this relationship work as love is rarely a factor in why people end relationships

[Flower7]

Yes, you should be concerned. This is very bad. Especially because he refuses to delete them. All his excuses for not doing do are lies, plain and simple. He’s keeping the accounts because he wants them and because he wants to continue receiving messages from the women who are on the sites. I’m not sure what would even make you consider them “inactive” if he’s getting notifications from them on a regular basis.

[Cycloteur]

Make your own profiles on same sites and show him who you get connected to and talk about it. If he doesn't get the message you need to either ditch him and move on or get ready for an open relationship with him. He sounds like a douche, sorry.

[PrettyPriya]

If he can’t delete because he has forgotten passwords and such, don’t worry about it.

You have to give him the benefit of doubt and trust him. Also, if they are inactive, really nothing to be concerned about.

[Iron_Man]

Yes big red flag find out when the last time he was on

[Riannalee]

He should block the messages and accounts if he can't delete. Otherwise im sorry but he's 100% cheating... had this happen to me

[anonbrunette99]

Huge red flag

[vegeta100]

Yes you should