My boyfriend hasn't deleted his online dating profiles, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend a couple of months now. We decided to have “the talk” very early on and became a couple. I deleted my online dating profiles, however he just deleted the apps themselves and not the profiles. Local friends use several sites and have seen his profile, on a few, although he doesn’t seem active. I’ve brought it to his attention before, and he said he’d remove them although doesn’t seem to have done so. Am I looking into this too much? I kinda feel like they are still there incase we fail although we have a pretty strong relationship already

[zulfiqarali]

Its a difficult situation.. between trust and loyalty... for a guy couple of months u cannot trust blindly.. ur concern is right but u have to take a decision either with him or without him... u can ask him to delete his profiles to gain his trust.. he can either do this... lie to u or leave u.. same options u have either u give him time or leave him if he not do anything... some times dating apps are like addiction.. if u have serious relationship with him then he should delete and u should trust but be aware of the situation... I think it's better u decide what u want to do and talk to him again... as it will keep coming to u if u trust or wait... ask him to understand it's criticality for u and delete his profiles so that u can relax and calm down... tell him this openly because he should know in which pain u r going through.. and as no relationship can go further without loyalty trust love and truth... so u have to decide what u wana do...

[coachTanthony]

I would say starting today I would forget about it. Now if one of these local friends tells you that they just saw his profile online than I would say something. You can always spin it like look I know you're not online dating but my friends keep seeing your profile and it's getting a little awkward over here.. can you get in there and remove it for my sanity? If he makes an excuse or said's your being unreasonable or anything other then doing what you have asked.. then I would have cause for concern. Hope this helps.

[BeHappyCloud]

Well, I must say I was in a similar situation as your boyfriend.

Ever since we decided to be together, I first deleted my dating app immediately. I only removed my pictures after about half a year into the relationshiop. I tried to delete my whole profile but I never did because 1) I stopped logging in so I forgot about it, 2) I was just curious, and 3) actually couldn't find the delete button.

Sometimes, we all have flaws and I just want to stress that there's no need to dig deep if he/she hasn't crossed any moral lines. Just because I kept a bare minium of a dating profile doesn't mean I will cheat. However, it is also good to keep in mind maybe how much he/she is willinging to make things irreversible corresponds to how much he/she loves you.

[Temporal]

My boyfriend only had a Tinder profile, but it turns out he used it for fun and games with his friends. It didn't really bother me until we ran into a girl who had matched with him and he ignored so she got REALLY pissed. Then I asked him to uninstall his app, and he did. Just talk to him, figure out why he still has the profiles, etc. Communication and his perspective are really important. It could just be a misunderstanding of feelings.

[Hidden_P]

It depends how he was using them.

My boyfriend started using them seriously but began to use them to troll due to similar treatment. He rarely got dates through them and just used them for “entertainment”. He has a very sarcastic personality.

Anyway, my point is, 4 years on he hasn’t accessed them and hasn’t deleted them. Stop panicking.

[XRabbitHeartX]

A lot of people dont know that deleting the app won't delete their profile. He probably just got it wrong. I wouldn't worry about. If he doesn't have the apps then it doesn't matter.

[Goodwifie]

He may have deleted the app without knowing that he has to delete his profile.

[Nathaniel___]

Personally I think you might be overreacting.

Plus your relationship has only just started and as you say if he’s deleted the apps then there’s no problems.

The more you go on about it the more you’ll think about it, and the more you think about it the more paranoid you’ll get.

It’s not worth the worry if you think you can’t trust him. It’s still early days aswell and you gotta make it if you want to make it work.

[Rymerk]

Well, yea. The only thing I can think of is he hasn't deleted them cause he does think in his mind somewhere that you ain't gonna last. At least not forever. Anyway.. If he hasn't deleted the profiles rather the app, then its best to just leave it at that.

((Aw yea, I got a girl. I'll delete the app, but I won't delete my profiles. I'll never know if I end up spending the rest of my life with her or not. I'll keep them just in case))

Me personally, I'd say not to get to caught up in it. Things like that tend to get nasty

[chezz83]

Agree with the other guys here. He may not know how to delete the profile and thinks removing the app is good enough. If he's not tecky that is. Also if its inactive then he's not logging in or checking it. He's your man now, accept your sucess! Haha :D

[KAF87]

I often delete apps without deleting the account. In the case of dating apps this is kind of rude. It feels aweful when you carefully craft a first message and never get a response. Would it kill people to respond "not interested" and maybe a why?
I think in this case it is probably more lazy then a backup plan. If your relationship is sound, you should be able to bring this up in a non-nagging way and tell him to delete them.

[findingdreamland-1]

I think you are over reacting. It could mean nothing. Beside you are in early stage of relationship. You cannot expect that he deletes everything.
And he said he removed. So believe in him. Why are suspicous? Did he give any reason to be suspicous? No. Relax.

[keenybmr]

Online dating advice: BrEaK Up WITH hIm

dont listen to these retards, just ask him why he is being lazy and not deleting it. If he isn't active, it doesn't matter. Half the people on okcupid dont use the website and probably are dating right now.. they just can't be assed to do it

[Julietchicago]

I couldn’t trust someone who leaves his profile up, I would ask him about it and if he says he uses it to make friends, it’s all bullshit, find someone else. If he doesn’t remove it, dump him. I’ve seen so many weak ass replies from
These girls on here saying to let it go. No way. The reason why I have so many boyfriends is because I don’t let them get away with shit. They have more respect for me

[dannyuk]

Guys are very lazy and he probably dint see the point when he hasn't got the apps and can't see what's going on anyway.
So give him a reason to. Just say friends use those sites and frankly it's just embarrassing for you because it looks like he's looking even though you know he isn't.
Tell him to delete them just for that reason and your pride. I expect him to do it straight away.

If he doesn't after putting it that way then you know this isn't some absent minded lazy thing it's deliberate.

[zeebeexo]

I wouldn’t worry too much, as long as the apps are gone and he’s inactive there’s nada to worry about. I’ve only deleted the apps myself because realistically (and i get this sounds harsh n am sorry but there’s no nice way to say it) relationship outcomes can’t be predicted, no matter how strong it is. But I wouldn’t cause yourself stress if there doesn’t need to be, if he still had access to them then sure, but deleting shows he’s serious

[chrisbigman]

If he hasn't been active, I wouldn't worry about it. But if he's active, then that's a problem and you should confront him about it. Yes, they are still there in case you break up. If you have a pretty strong relationship, then he'll likely delete the profiles - when you two tie the knot. But until that happens, leave it alone.

[chrisbigman]

Even if you tell him to delete it, he could still create a new one. Also, he could hook up with someone offline. Sounds like you aren't trusting him that much yet.

[unicorn1978]

I don't think you need to worry if he's not using them he could easily set up new ones at any point anyway I understand you questioning it but I think he doesn't even think about it cause they're inactive

[Trisha13]

Hmmmm. First thing my boyfriend did when we started dating was go through the rigorous process of completely deleting tinder, snap chat and Facebook. Right away he did. I guess it's just respect. Just say, hey, let's delete your profile tonight 😍

[djmzes]

Simple

[djmzes]

Strong means nothing...
Keep it strong means everything...
Relationship is like the sea. One day it is calm and the next day it is dangerous. Depending on your sailing skill, either you float or you drown when the waves hit you.

[Justacatlady]

I'd directly ask him to delete the profiles. I'd also let him know that people you know have seen them, that way he will know that it will be seen if he doesn't take them down. There is no reason to keep them up.

[PeteyConnors]

I'd also make a fake profile with a different pic and message his profile to see if he is active

[Fitness-Fanatic]

Maybe he assumes uninstalling it actually deactivates it. Or maybe he's unsure how to delete it. As long as he's not active on it , there's no need to be concerned

[heather4N0w]

The moment i started dating my boyfriend i deleted all my accounts and so did he. If he was serious about you then he wouldn't need to keep them active.

[JaiTheCap]

Been there. He wasn’t active while together but afterwards he was. Just try to get more in debt to see most men think once it’s off his phone , it’s deleted.

[MrDarcy07]

Yes, yes you are. If he's not active then you have nothing to worry about. I've had numerous girlfriends over the years, and never deleted my online dating accounts. Of course, it made it easier to go right back on after a break-up, so you might be right about him keeping his just in case. But I wouldn't over think it.