My boyfriend hasn't deleted his online dating profiles, what should I do?

Question

I’ve been with my boyfriend a couple of months now. We decided to have “the talk” very early on and became a couple. I deleted my online dating profiles, however he just deleted the apps themselves and not the profiles. Local friends use several sites and have seen his profile, on a few, although he doesn’t seem active. I’ve brought it to his attention before, and he said he’d remove them although doesn’t seem to have done so. Am I looking into this too much? I kinda feel like they are still there incase we fail although we have a pretty strong relationship already

zulfiqarali · Accepted Answer

Its a difficult situation.. between trust and loyalty... for a guy couple of months u cannot trust blindly.. ur concern is right but u have to take a decision either with him or without him... u can ask him to delete his profiles to gain his trust.. he can either do this... lie to u or leave u.. same options u have either u give him time or leave him if he not do anything... some times dating apps are like addiction.. if u have serious relationship with him then he should delete and u should trust but be aware of the situation... I think it's better u decide what u want to do and talk to him again... as it will keep coming to u if u trust or wait... ask him to understand it's criticality for u and delete his profiles so that u can relax and calm down... tell him this openly because he should know in which pain u r going through.. and as no relationship can go further without loyalty trust love and truth... so u have to decide what u wana do...

coachTanthony · Accepted Answer

I would say starting today I would forget about it. Now if one of these local friends tells you that they just saw his profile online than I would say something. You can always spin it like look I know you're not online dating but my friends keep seeing your profile and it's getting a little awkward over here.. can you get in there and remove it for my sanity? If he makes an excuse or said's your being unreasonable or anything other then doing what you have asked.. then I would have cause for concern. Hope this helps.

BeHappyCloud · Accepted Answer

Well, I must say I was in a similar situation as your boyfriend.

Ever since we decided to be together, I first deleted my dating app immediately. I only removed my pictures after about half a year into the relationshiop. I tried to delete my whole profile but I never did because 1) I stopped logging in so I forgot about it, 2) I was just curious, and 3) actually couldn't find the delete button.

Sometimes, we all have flaws and I just want to stress that there's no need to dig deep if he/she hasn't crossed any moral lines. Just because I kept a bare minium of a dating profile doesn't mean I will cheat. However, it is also good to keep in mind maybe how much he/she is willinging to make things irreversible corresponds to how much he/she loves you.

Temporal · Accepted Answer

My boyfriend only had a Tinder profile, but it turns out he used it for fun and games with his friends. It didn't really bother me until we ran into a girl who had matched with him and he ignored so she got REALLY pissed. Then I asked him to uninstall his app, and he did. Just talk to him, figure out why he still has the profiles, etc. Communication and his perspective are really important. It could just be a misunderstanding of feelings.

Hidden_P · Accepted Answer

It depends how he was using them.

My boyfriend started using them seriously but began to use them to troll due to similar treatment. He rarely got dates through them and just used them for “entertainment”. He has a very sarcastic personality.

Anyway, my point is, 4 years on he hasn’t accessed them and hasn’t deleted them. Stop panicking.

XRabbitHeartX · Answer

A lot of people dont know that deleting the app won't delete their profile. He probably just got it wrong. I wouldn't worry about. If he doesn't have the apps then it doesn't matter.

Goodwifie · Answer

He may have deleted the app without knowing that he has to delete his profile.

Nathaniel___ · Answer

Personally I think you might be overreacting.

Plus your relationship has only just started and as you say if he’s deleted the apps then there’s no problems.

The more you go on about it the more you’ll think about it, and the more you think about it the more paranoid you’ll get.

It’s not worth the worry if you think you can’t trust him. It’s still early days aswell and you gotta make it if you want to make it work.

Rymerk · Answer

Well, yea. The only thing I can think of is he hasn't deleted them cause he does think in his mind somewhere that you ain't gonna last. At least not forever. Anyway.. If he hasn't deleted the profiles rather the app, then its best to just leave it at that.

((Aw yea, I got a girl. I'll delete the app, but I won't delete my profiles. I'll never know if I end up spending the rest of my life with her or not. I'll keep them just in case))

Me personally, I'd say not to get to caught up in it. Things like that tend to get nasty

chezz83 · Answer

Agree with the other guys here. He may not know how to delete the profile and thinks removing the app is good enough. If he's not tecky that is. Also if its inactive then he's not logging in or checking it. He's your man now, accept your sucess! Haha :D

KAF87 · Answer

I often delete apps without deleting the account. In the case of dating apps this is kind of rude. It feels aweful when you carefully craft a first message and never get a response. Would it kill people to respond "not interested" and maybe a why?
I think in this case it is probably more lazy then a backup plan. If your relationship is sound, you should be able to bring this up in a non-nagging way and tell him to delete them.

findingdreamland-1 · Answer

I think you are over reacting. It could mean nothing. Beside you are in early stage of relationship. You cannot expect that he deletes everything.
And he said he removed. So believe in him. Why are suspicous? Did he give any reason to be suspicous? No. Relax.

keenybmr · Answer

Online dating advice: BrEaK Up WITH hIm

dont listen to these retards, just ask him why he is being lazy and not deleting it. If he isn't active, it doesn't matter. Half the people on okcupid dont use the website and probably are dating right now.. they just can't be assed to do it

Julietchicago · Answer

I couldn’t trust someone who leaves his profile up, I would ask him about it and if he says he uses it to make friends, it’s all bullshit, find someone else. If he doesn’t remove it, dump him. I’ve seen so many weak ass replies from
These girls on here saying to let it go. No way. The reason why I have so many boyfriends is because I don’t let them get away with shit. They have more respect for me

dannyuk · Answer

Guys are very lazy and he probably dint see the point when he hasn't got the apps and can't see what's going on anyway.
So give him a reason to. Just say friends use those sites and frankly it's just embarrassing for you because it looks like he's looking even though you know he isn't.
Tell him to delete them just for that reason and your pride. I expect him to do it straight away.

If he doesn't after putting it that way then you know this isn't some absent minded lazy thing it's deliberate.

zeebeexo · Answer

I wouldn’t worry too much, as long as the apps are gone and he’s inactive there’s nada to worry about. I’ve only deleted the apps myself because realistically (and i get this sounds harsh n am sorry but there’s no nice way to say it) relationship outcomes can’t be predicted, no matter how strong it is. But I wouldn’t cause yourself stress if there doesn’t need to be, if he still had access to them then sure, but deleting shows he’s serious

chrisbigman · Answer

If he hasn't been active, I wouldn't worry about it. But if he's active, then that's a problem and you should confront him about it. Yes, they are still there in case you break up. If you have a pretty strong relationship, then he'll likely delete the profiles - when you two tie the knot. But until that happens, leave it alone.

unicorn1978 · Answer

I don't think you need to worry if he's not using them he could easily set up new ones at any point anyway I understand you questioning it but I think he doesn't even think about it cause they're inactive

Trisha13 · Answer

Hmmmm. First thing my boyfriend did when we started dating was go through the rigorous process of completely deleting tinder, snap chat and Facebook. Right away he did. I guess it's just respect. Just say, hey, let's delete your profile tonight 😍

djmzes · Answer

Simple

Justacatlady · Answer

I'd directly ask him to delete the profiles. I'd also let him know that people you know have seen them, that way he will know that it will be seen if he doesn't take them down. There is no reason to keep them up.

Fitness-Fanatic · Answer

Maybe he assumes uninstalling it actually deactivates it. Or maybe he's unsure how to delete it. As long as he's not active on it , there's no need to be concerned

heather4N0w · Answer

The moment i started dating my boyfriend i deleted all my accounts and so did he. If he was serious about you then he wouldn't need to keep them active.

JaiTheCap · Answer

Been there. He wasn’t active while together but afterwards he was. Just try to get more in debt to see most men think once it’s off his phone , it’s deleted.

MrDarcy07 · Answer

Yes, yes you are. If he's not active then you have nothing to worry about. I've had numerous girlfriends over the years, and never deleted my online dating accounts. Of course, it made it easier to go right back on after a break-up, so you might be right about him keeping his just in case. But I wouldn't over think it.

Josuesando · Answer

Talk to him, with my ex, I just delete the app, without knowing you could actually delete the account, when she told me I deleted the account! If he still doesn't want, ask him why and if is because he doesn't want to lose his matches, you should consider the relationship.

misslohan · Answer

First of all, be more secure with yourself. Secondly, ask him to delete or deactivate it. Tell him it makes you uncomfortable. If he refuses, dump his sorry ass, gain some self respect, reactivate your own account and find a man who will cherish you! Too many men around to settle for a dipshit who feels the need to keep his Tinder profile active.

mia999 · Answer

He deleted the apps and is not active, so where is the problem? I think you are overriacting

walkit · Answer

Ask him what would he do if the roles were reversed, if he won't give you an honest answer just recreate your profiles and inform him about it

kmonte · Answer

Well if the relationship fails he my just go back to those profiles. I'm not encouraging that it will just a thought. Having doubts isn't good. Just trust him.

Anonymous · Answer

I think having a dating profile is alright as long as it is not active. He may be just simply be too lazy to do it as it doesn't matter to him. He may have created the dating profile out of boredom from the start anyway. I think being too pushy regarding something that he may not think is important may create some unwanted damage to the relationship. If you say that you guys have a pretty strong relationship then have some trust in him.

oftheHowl · Answer

I'd legit be too lazy to go online and figure out how to delete or deactivate an account. I always just delete the apps, you're overthinking it

ThisDudeHere · Answer

And what if you two do fail? It'd be inconvenient to remake them. If he doesn't use them then isn't that enough?

MsMusic · Answer

I'd just delete the apps. I don't really wanna go through the hassle of completely deleting them, but I'd probably take my pics down.

newnew50 · Answer

Tell him your not comfortable about that. In order to have a relationship you have to be honest with each other. Don't let this weigh on you.

HereIbe · Answer

He's keeping his options open. If you are okay with that, do nothing. If not, then he needs to shut it down. Basically, you're still just a fallback chick for him, and he'll dump you if anything better comes along.

sakalator · Answer

Oh God 😱 I'm so sorry for that. It must be horrible. Well you gotta talk this through. It's not good at all.

miiszmel · Answer

If he hasn't been active then you shouldn't worry too much

struggleslice · Answer

Spam his accounts with Kraft Singles and he will be so enamored with it that he will be forced to delete them, thus reinforcing your relationship

WalterRadio · Answer

If you are giving him everything he needs and wants in a relationship, then why would you care?

Anonymous · Answer

I used to have tinder. When I got into a relationship I just deleted the app, not the profile. I'm just lazy and deleting the app was just easier. There's no hidden agenda

Anonymous · Answer

tell him again, POLITELY, but express you discomfort with it. if he doesn't want to, then you two should have a talk about reconsidering how strong your relationship is. But most probably he just forgot, so be civil.

thottiana · Answer

He deleted the apps, that should be good enough. You never know what’s going to happen, you guys might not last forever.

ThreeSheetsToTheWind · Answer

If he's not active on those sites, what difference does it make? He's probably just forgot to delete his accounts, I don't think it's anything to worry about.

maggie123234 · Answer

He needs to delete it if he wants you. If it the relationship fails, he can just create a new one. If he is not willing to delete it, then that's a problem.

JustRollTheDice · Answer

Think you're looking a bit to much but i see your dihalema

leanhent · Answer

You should just ask him to delete the profile if it bothers you

BigRob420 · Answer

He probably doesn't understand the difference between taking them down and deleting the app.

felix_the_cat316 · Answer

I think you are thinking too much of it. he's deleted the app and is inactive, so you're fine.

lulita2025 · Answer

You should trust more yourself and couple xd no need other profiles

Yakasmashi · Answer

He should have deleted them... if he didn't... he would just either cheat on you or either if y'all break up then he will go back

flirtygirl2 · Answer

Ask him why not wait for his answer and go from there

abrockurbody · Answer

If u have a strong relationship already as u have mentioned than these thing shd not bother u at all and every relation depends on faith so in my opinion have faith in him and delete ur question from here also as soon u get ur right answer

MultiplSkorGazm · Answer

I've been through this. If you agreed, and he doesn't keep his end of the agreement, can he be trusted with other promises? I say go to him once more. Say i love you lots, and i dont want you to do something you will regret. Delete them, or me.

Titalooza · Answer

Break up With him... had the same problem with my ex and ended things, makes me want to throw up...

FrostyBear · Answer

Have a friend message these profiles he has n see if he responds. if not I wouldn't worrie to much them. There's a difference between looking for someone and just having a profile in case things for work.

superduperstarr · Answer

How do you know he did or did not? You can only view them of you have one, so you either created a new one or reactivated your old one.

sayitlikumeanit · Answer

Cancel him, you obviously aren't his ideal match so he still browsing around looking for something better. And settling for you out of convenience.

cgray · Answer

I would stay the course. Honestly I bet I have a profile open somewhere but I haven't thought about trying to figure out deleting it lol

jagerbomb · Answer

he is just lazy and dost wanna go through the hassle of deleting it all and you should just get off his back about It but if it says he was active on them well then that a whole nother story.

bongger · Answer

Either he forgot ((happens to Me)) or he thinks your relationship won't last long, simply ask him again and make it obvious that it bothers you.  P. s::I hope he's the forgetful type 👍

sp33d · Answer

.. so you quit smoking 2 years ago, why do you still have the lighter?

apple24 · Answer

I would just leave the relationship. I don't want deal with these feelings.

1nittol3arn · Answer

Deleting the app and being inactive is as good at deleting the profile.

PeteyConnors · Answer

He's probably waiting until the relationship has been around longer.

My boyfriend hasn't deleted his online dating profiles, what should I do?

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