Am I being too hard or do I need to leave?

[Anonymous]

My relationship isn't toxic... yet. but its climbing up there. My boyfriend "jokes" about how I'm seeing other men behind his back when I'm really out with my parents..

I accuse him because I'm insecure and see subtle things as cheating.

Long story short I just never feel appreciated by him. My bday was Sunday and he gave me nothing despite me throwing him a party for his bday.

Our cars are broken down. Am I being too hard on him?

[lightbulb27]

it sounds like he's throwing crap at you that you throw at him. not good, I get the desire to do that, bad response... not loving.

sounds like relationship breaking down, needs communication... listening, vulnerability, trust establishment, repair.

cutting and running is the easy way out... into the next debacle.

Stress can tear up people. Have to repair emotional issues so can work together to solve the other problems. not easy, work. he ready for work?

Two horses can pull a carriage. One horse holding a grudge... carriage going nowhere...

[Asker]

It's like when I'm loving and trusting he's cautious and scared and insecure... I will talk to him

[lightbulb27]

that make sense.
we had to hack our way through issues and feelings and to some degree, may be normal as people come together, depending upon what "junk" was drug in from the past or stirred up. I brought mine. doing something together is an approach we used, like discussing gag questions, watching and discussing tv series. direct talk about relational issues was hard for me, maybe for many guys... exercises our worst skills of vulnerability, listening... it feels confrontational. takes awareness of self. for what it's worth...
good luck!

[joe2511]

How long have you been together? I disagree, this sounds to me like a toxic relationship. Accusing each other of cheating or seeing other people joking or not is not healthy for any relationship unless you have evidence. Projecting your partner is cheating whether it be insecurity or old wounds from previous relationships will erode the relationship away. I'm not blaming you and he be behaving in a way that warrants that suspicion on your end, I'm just going off what you wrote in the post.

Sounds like you need to talk to your boyfriend about how you are not feeling appreciated in the relationship. See what he says about it. It may be beneficial for you and your boyfriend to seek relationship counseling, especially if you see this going toward marriage.

[slatyb]

You need to leave. And get your car fixed. Do you have somewhere to go?

[Asker]

No. My dad doesn't want me back home lol