*EXCLUDING BREAK UPS AND HEARTBREAKS* (That’s the obvious!)
I think the worst part about dating is the the awkward stages before it becomes a serious relationship. You know, the “talking,” “seeing each other,” “casual date,” “exclusive but not official.” The worst part about relationships is sometimes you get so comfortable together that you stop trying as hard. I had an ex who did that.
In your opinion, What’s the worst part about dating and relationships?
Wasting time with all the shallow women out there who lie and claim they're looking for "love" when they really just want to "ride the carousel" until their looks fade in their 30s. Then they claim they're "looking for mister right" but only end up whining and complaining that no men want them anymore, especially if they now have kids and that it's men's fault these women rejected all the good men in their 20s and that no men (but the weak ones) waited for them to stop sleeping around at age 32.
Not to sound sexist, but women are the worst part of dating and relationships. They ONLY ever go after the 8s and 9s, who can have any woman, get dumped or cheated on by said Chads, and then come on GAG to whine about it, as if all men are those guys and as if they ever even bothered dating men who weren't male models or pro athletes.
I can't remember the last time I met a non shallow, non entitled single woman. Women are single solely by choice. Men are single because they're never perfect enough for women, no matter how good their personalities may be or how good they are on paper to what women CLAIM they want. Women are always looking for the better option out there. She can have an 8 out of 10, but won't be satisfied because he's not a 9. Or her 9 isn't a 9.5.
I know how I sound texting this, but it's not really based on personal experience. It's just how crappy modern dating is for men nowadays. I'm not going to pretend like women's ridiculous standards and shallowness aren't a major contributor to it, because they are. If women put personality before their giant shallow checklists, things would be much better for everyone.
I'd watched a video recently detailing a woman's experience on dating apps and pairing that with a guy. Not gonna go into the mess of details, but it comes out to a few major points: There are a ton of men and very few women. Most men are not doing a very good job of communicating. Most women are getting too many contacts to be personable with any of them. A lot of good men are being missed or overshadowed by a tidal wave of garbage.
The worst part about dating is a combination of way too much red tape for dating in the real world and what comes to a 1:1000 chance you don't just get missed or ignored on dating apps.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Probably having less freedom. When I was single with no kids I could go pretty much anywhere and spend my money on pretty much anything without having to answer to or be responsible with anyone else. When I was a single mom that obviously wasn't the case. However, I still had a lot more freedom in deciding what direction we were going to go in as I was the one making all the major choices. I obviously always thought about what was best for my kids, but at the end of the day we mostly always did whatever I thought was best. However, after getting remarried I've found I have a lot less freedom because I have to work with someone who has just as much major power in that area as I do. I've got to run any major life choices by him, and to be honest it was kind of nice when I could just do what I wanted without having to answer to anyone. However, I think that's a pretty minor setback compared to all the great things that have come with the marriage. I get a ton more out of the marriage than anything I "lost" from going into it. But if I had to pick the "worst" thing I could think of I'd pick that
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I think the worst part is at the beginning you can't really be your most authentic self. Sure, some are and can pull this off, but you're sort on your best behavior as you're trying to impress upon the other person that you're totally normal and well adjusted enough for a stable long lasting relationship. We are nuanced human beings, we're flawed, we don't always show up in life looking like a total ten (nor should we have to), but you can't really show that more real side for a while...like, yes, I'm human and I burp, hello!!!
Thats why u dont date and go straight into a relationship. Dating is like both of u being parole officers to one another and who wants that. And yes you can be your 100% self with the other that way u dont need to bullshit them or mask yourself up to look better. Be REAL to the othe and real will bite back.
Well for me, the worst I got from dating so far is that it left me with anxiety issues. The few I dated back preferred a guy who would do even illegal things to get their wants and wishes granted. Sadly this changed my opinion about ladies up until last year. Nevertheless, I feel venturing into dating should have a genuine focus, not just for the sex, attention, romance and passion. Some even see it as a status symbol, breaking the hearts of others cos theirs has been broken before making it equal. Dating must lead to marriage, having this view will let other crucial aspects of it to dawn on one so as for one to work on, understand etc. I'm not denying the fact that some guys also have their issues on the given topic. Forgive if my opinion got you offended.
Hardest part of the relationship is becoming self aware enough to see beyond yourself and realize when you're the problem; then make steps to not only grow as a person but appreciate your relarionship and it's imperfections.
Too many of us only see ourselves, and only consider our own emotions in every situation. Too many want the perfect match, and believe too heavily in the idea of soul mates.
The truth is, you're not always the victim; sometimes it really is your fault or both involved. Sometimes you may need to take a hard look at yourself and wonder why all your relationships fail or so short lived. Then when you find someone who you're compatibility with, are you willing to evolve for him/her into someone better?
wasting time energy. Be so much better if was a good way to wade through everyone you really not going to work with so can focus on the few that you would. then, have a coach work on oneself to work out your crap, your junk, your stuff and get some training in having a good relationship... until you are legit ready to date another human being.
Then go date the one or few and make a go of it. this isn't too far off from traditional cultures (India) where its communities where people know each other, you select from a few well respected ones based upon what you like, and you get married and make a go of it.
Our society suffers because our society is all messed up. we have to do some work to improve the process so next generation doesn't struggle like we have.
All the different stages and just finding out that the compatability is a mismatch. Having to start over again. For me it's the drama, I don't have time to deal with drama and patience to deal with not knowing. I like men that are upfront, honest and open. I won't waste time with wishy washy guys who don't know what they want and play games. I'll get bored and leave.
Dating: When someone is "playing hard to get" and the other person wants to let them know how much fun they had and want to talk more often because they are excited.
Relationships: I agree with you about the comfortable part. That is so true.
Most of all, I find the part where you have to interpret every small action or word the worst. Allthough it’s mostly an exciting stage of dating as this is the part when you get butterflies and admit that you’re in love, the stress kills me.
It’s so exhausting not knowing how the other feels and having these little warm-cold signals.
The part where I get bored and don’t feel butterflies anymore. It’s like I’ve been projecting a idealized hologram on to the person but have lost my ability to do so. I’m one of those people who frequently has lust at first sight, but can’t seem to manage love at first sight. It’s why I choose to stay single.
It's nerve-racking going back into the dating world. Lot has changed. I think the worst part is opening up and the person isn't who they said they were. Just told you shit to make you like them more
Sure is. The funny thing is now I totally see it. I get these dms from guys who are clearly not who they say they are and it's just a waste of my time. I don't know who has time to be someone else I can barley manage my life lol
being an average guy and attemping to find someone who actually cares (to the point of actual love) . negoatiating peace treaties between places like north and south korea, russia and ukraine, israel and palestine, hitler and the jewish people are much much easier.
the first break up was hard took me 3 week to get over the way she told me, the second was a week by the third i was cool with break-ups i don't understand why asking for sex maid one split up with me. but 2 weeks latter sex was ok and can we get back together, it took me 3 weeks of sex to say no thank you but that life i still love all the girls I have been with even the one night stands. life has been good so fare my SO now is great.
I can't even find dates anymore. I get fed up and give up. Unmotivated. Fml. Really crushes you when You over think it. Like where are you soul mate? Do You even exist? What do I need to be Do to find you? How can I be more attractive to women? How can I be more charismatic? So many questions. Stress for nothing. So try to distract myself from that.
Arguments and heavy discussions. I hate them because at any moment within the tension, something can be said that you can never take back. It's why I will never argue with a partner unless we both agree to sit down and have a talk, while also having proper time to think things out as mature adults.
Basically everything. But yet, I’ve never had a healthy relationship cuz I have the worst luck! I don’t know if I’ll ever find a good, real one. It must only be in my dreams
I agree with not trying and doing special things anymore. I really love that love feeling but i dont like being blinded by it. I need to see and think clearly about who im letting in my space
In my relationships at least, I found myself trying really hard and the other people just taking it casually. Its important to be in the same wavelength and have similar levels of affection and care for each other, I think.
the fact that so many play games stating they want stable and loyal- a good woman with her stuff together, then they say just for a friends with benefits situation, the f*ck is that?
That somethings have to given up, also you have to be tolerant of a lot of things because you are after all two different people that does things differently.
