Looks or personality?

[Nottooimportant]

Answer truly please. Do you prefer a good looking partner or a partner that have a good personality even if they aren't so attractive?

[God_of_Thunder]

Ideally, a reasonable compromise of both.

Personality is obviously the more important of the two. I wouldn't even consider being with the hottest woman in the world, if she was a raging b*tch.

Likewise, though; I need to be with someone that doesn't look like a baboon's asshole, either. My standards for physical appearance are not extremely high. I just need to be reasonably attracted to them.

I'd be perfectly happy with an average woman, who makes me smile, and with whom I enjoy spending time.

[Nottooimportant]

That makes sense

[ghop2]

Neither. If I admire a person's looks or personality, it will draw me to them, for sure. That initial attraction is important. But what's most important is who we make each other.
Do we make each other better or do we bring out each others weaknesses? Do we have compatible values?
Ultimately, it's has to be the product of us, which is partially their personality, partially mine. Mix in past experiences. Mix in goals and future experiences.

[Nottooimportant]

Yes that's what i meant by personality : a good sense of humour, similar values and goals etc... But do you really believe that you can change someone else?

[ghop2]

Well, two people can have very similar personalities, but who you are with each of them can lead to very different outcomes. The way I see it, the personality that you see for the first weeks of getting to know somebody is just the tip of the iceberg. People who know their partner well see things in their partner that their partner can't even see in themselves. These hidden elements can cause you to have very different relationships with people who seem to have similar personalities.

Here, I guess what I am saying is that personality is a good start. But it is too complex to really know. What you have to look at is the personality of you and your partner as a couple. What does the mix of the two of you bring out? Is making you both better people, making you miserable, growing and getting more exciting, or just feeling like you are stuck in a rut?

And I know that you can change somebody. Part of really growing with somebody is not necessarily changing them, but allowing that person to change you.

[Nottooimportant]

You mean chemistry between the couple? I agree to what you said previously but i don't think you can ever change your partner unless they decide to change by themselves. I mean it is not a good idea to start dating someone while hoping to change them bc it's not guaranteed to happen

[ghop2]

I think it's less about hoping you can change them, as in fixing them or turning them into something you want them to be. That can lead to change, but the change will not be what you planned. However, as you grow together, it's impossible to remain unchanged. Is that change for the better or the worse?

[dustybiker]

I’d rather be with someone I get along well with in the dark.

[Anonymous]

both. you can't be with someone who's ugly and you can't be with someone who has a shitty personality. listen i've known women who were either physically ugly and i couldn't see myself being physically intimate with those women and i knew women who were good looking but had shitty personalities and that was a turn off as well.

[Nottooimportant]

Fair enough

[LegendaryMarc]

personality for sure. Looks are important, but if she just knows how to dress well, then that's all that matters. Not saying slutty, just nice.. like a good pair of leather pants and a nice sweater

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Partner, that has a good personality even if they aren't so attractive?

[Nottooimportant]

Yes?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

@Nottooimportant Thank you

[Jouth]

personalityyyyyyyy everytime.

You can't fix a busted up face.

You can fix someone's personality only until they fall back on it and betray you.

All the ugly, wonderfully kind and happy girls, slide into my dm's.

I'm ready.

[Kaneki05]

Personality by far.

[Nottooimportant]

Does that mean you can be with someone you aren't attracted to physically because they have a good personality?

[Kaneki05]

Been there done that. So yes I can.

[Iron_Man]

Both 👍

[Nottooimportant]

What if you met someone you are very attracted to physically but they have a boring personality? And what about if you were attracted to someone's personality but you find them unattractive physically?

[Iron_Man]

There’s gotta be some kind of attraction if not that’s basically a friend. I also don’t enjoy being around boring people that have nothing to say and just stay at home all the time

[BarryLiverstone]

Starts with looks

[Nottooimportant]

Would you approach someone based on their looks only?

[BarryLiverstone]

Of course. If they are attractive why not walk up and have a chat?

[Nottooimportant]

Bc maybe they'll refuse to talk to you or ignore you?

[BarryLiverstone]

Ok so what’s wrong with that? Happens to people everyday, you just go back to your friends and let them know what happened.

[BarryLiverstone]

by the way anyone who refuses to talk isn’t worth talking to anyway yk?

[Nottooimportant]

Uum true

[BarryLiverstone]

The last time someone ignored you what did you do?

[Nottooimportant]

Lol i don't remember but i almost never approach others bc i'm scared of rejection

[BarryLiverstone]

Time to get over any fear of that. Anyone who rejects you only can see what you look like. While appearance matters so does who you are. Most people will at least talk to you if they are out and about.

[Nottooimportant]

My problem isn't my appearance because i know i'm good looking at least i don't consider myself "ugly" but i grew up shy and i still find it difficult to approach other people lol

[BarryLiverstone]

I listen to a woman on a podcast who grew up Just like you. She said she used to carry a rubber band around and anytime she felt shy to approach she would snap her palm and that was a physical reminder to get up and try. It took time but eventually she got more comfortable. So got any rubber bands?

[Nottooimportant]

Haha yes. Maybe i'll try that. Ty anyways

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome

[jahaims]

I wouldn't settle when I can have both.

[Nottooimportant]

It's rare to find both

[jahaims]

Disagree

[lycanthrope3]

Personality