Ladies, what besides bad personality or poor hygiene, would make a man "undateable" in your eyes?

Question

I hear so many new, relatively young men on this site, complain that "they can't find a women, no matter what" and I just roll my eyes. We are living in the damn Age of sexual and financial liberty, where women who are financially independent, educated and sexually liberated are a common thing in Western society. Women have never been more liberated and more available to men than they are right now.

What the HELL are these men complaining about that they "can't find someone to date them." other than they're entitled and that their standards are ridiculously high? (Not that a single man will ever admit it.) It's so annoying to see on here, because most women know that these men are just dating push overs and who ever will spread their legs to them, but then complaining that "they can't find a woman" while ignoring 99% of decent women out there who aren't a 9 out of 10 in looks!

So Women of GAG... What in a man, *besides* bad hygiene or just simply being an awful person, would him "undateable" to you? Cause women don't ask for much.

Thanks MCheetah for inspiring this question

Passion_Devil · Accepted Answer

Insecurities that just seem to stay. For example, a guy shorter than me feeling less of a man because of the height difference. The difference would not matter to me, but if you just keep being sad over being shorter and feeling out of my league, you'll push me away. Not because of your height, but because of your lack of self love.

Another example, he might think that I am cheating and might think I want to leave him. And no matter what I do, my love gets tossed into the trash and I would still get accused of being a cheater. That feeling is devastating so I will have to break up.

And they will think "I knew this would happen". They think they were right, but it's actually because they didn't want to see anything else.

Another reason is a man who is checks all the criteria but one thing... his heart is still beating for another. If it's mild I'll give you one chance to see her in person to seek closure, but if I hear one more comment about his ex, he can leave and go to her instead. Another thing is comparing me with an ex. Move on from your ex before dating other people please

A third reason is if they live far away from me. I want hold him, I want to be held by the man I love. A call is not good enough for me.

Prezzi3 · Accepted Answer

1) A man that’s emotionally unavailable. If you can’t articulate how you feel and why you feel that way, that’s going to be an issue.
2) A man who hears you but still does nothing. You tell him how you feel about a situation and how it made you feel/what he can do better next time. He still continues to do it after several conversations about the same thing.
3) A man with no ambition. It’s okay to be broke when we first meet, but if we been together for two years and you still in the same place, that’s ab issue. You can be broke now but it’s what your doing about it now to help stop your from being broke in the future.
4) A man who does not put in no effort. Don’t plan takes. Doesn’t make time to call you or come visit you. Says he misses your presence but does nothing to show it. Action speak louder than words.
5) Lack moral values/interest/confidence. If you lack confidence to stay your ground or don’t have any values to live by, then you will fall for any and everything. Just have values, even if it’s not the same values as me.

Redstang88 · Accepted Answer

Ok I’m gonna be devils advocate here. No doubt lots of these whiny basement dwellers on here are blaming their massive personality flaws and/or other shortcomings that they likely wouldn’t overlook in a girl either.

But even for the bulk of us that fall somewhere in between undateable and rockstars with a lineup of groupies, it’s a fuckin tough game out there. You’re absolutely right, women never been more liberated or available. They’ve also this amount of attention on demand is available now. Social media, dating apps, and just the way life is lately makes it damn hard to set yourself apart from the 20 other guys she has fighting for her interest.

And if you do make it past that, finding something real is a whole other level of frustration. Date a girl for a while to find out she was just bored and lonely, or maybe give a girl a chance that doesn’t have it all together - the trust issues, insecurity and whatever other issues after dating some dirtbag with 2 other girls on the side. Then getting dumped on your ass as soon as she gets a better offer.
Even for the average guys it’s a brutal game and gets defeating sometimes

zagor · Accepted Answer

I don't doubt there are women out there who would work for me. I just don't know how to meet them. I work in a field that is 80% male, and the females that do work in it tend to either be married or have the personality of a board. Online hasn't worked out as the women I've actually met that way tend to be liars or damaged. I'm not really into the bar/club scene anymore, and most of those have a 3/1 gender ratio the wrong way.

There is a place nearby where there are plenty of bright, attractive girls, but college girls are kind of out of my age range these days.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

A guy who does not believe in equality, like he expects you to work hard to stay fit but he won’t work hard to earn money or he thinks it’s okay to complain when you do something annoying but your not allowed to complain when he does something annoying. Another thing is a guy who puts you down to make himself feel better. I once rejected a smart and good looking guy because he would tease me in a very rude and condescending way because he thought I looked funny and cute when I was stressed out and embarrassed and I would never date a guy who does not respect my privacy.

AwesomeCookie · Answer

Oh my gosh this is a set up! I mean every man is going to be torn apart lol.
My usual: lazy, job, no place of his own, ambition, education, vehicle and drivers license, basic home and repair skills... Golly the list goes on forever. That doesn't even reference looks, and personality, habits and hobbies, and if he will be good in bed. Wow, I do demand a lot. Ungodly, unrealistic and unachievable.

Desconhecida · Answer

Bad personality already covers many dealbreakers

Phoenix-gb · Answer

I'm sure you'll disagree with me, but I'm one of those guys, and can honestly say I've never had to reject anyone because they've never shown any interest in me whatsoever. I can make friends easily, and those friends (male and female) tell me I have a great personality and I'm not Quasimodo hideous, yet no-one has expressed any interest in me any time I've gone out nor has anything progressed when I've tried to expand my social circle and every time I've asked someone out or move a friendship to something more it has resulted in rejection.

In 4 and a half years on Tinder I've had 22 matches (I've seen the data) and most of those either didn't respond, or were scam bots immediately trying to take the conversation to an unreportable messaging option.

As for standards, mutual attraction, no kids and isn't on a restrictive diet (i. e. classes themselves as an omnivore) is about it.

So is my lived experience wrong?

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

I dread to think of the conversation that produced this question lol.

i am curious to see what real girls put.

had a few of these conversations in the pub with mixed group on what is good and bad.

Also I could tag some for comments.

@harleigh90
@PrettyPriya
@SaoirseS
@CrazyGirl2

Have you any opinions,…

RawIronhide · Answer

See you're exactly part of the problem. You're to up the ass of modern women empowerment that you can't see how it's stepping on a whole class of people i. e. men over all the sexual "liberation" has worked out for like 20% of dudes and even they are fed up mostly. Of course you blame men for this because women can do no wrong in this society. Who ever said independence was a good thing for either of us? Or that half the population even wanted it in the first place.

SaoirseS · Answer

Fortunately I’ve never encountered bad hygiene when I was dating.

Bad personality is pretty broad. It’s more attitude and behaviors that killed it for me when I was dating. Those who are into the blame game are instant turnoffs. So are pessimistic and negative people. How a guy treats others is pretty telling as well.

moonpie89 · Answer

Honestly, very desperate guys are such a turn off for me. When their insecurities are so much that it comes off as depressing. A guy who hasn't healed from whatever trauma he went through in life and or he's not willing to move past it or seek help. A guy with very outlandish views on life.

StephiC · Answer

Immaturity. Like finding burping funny (these men exist past their 40's)

Low self-esteem: not going for a promotion out of fear of rejection for example. Also a red flag in that they'll go for women they're not really that interested in and therefore never commit to properly (and sometimes resent) and forever pedastalise and pine over women 'out of their league'.

Anger management issues:lots of men have that and it's scary to be around a man that has poor emotional control.

wheresmrcunnunglis · Answer

Having no sense of style.
No ambition.
Nasal like voice.
Rigid mindset e. g. black and white thinking.
Small pepper down there.
Being my height without heels.
Smoker or heavy drinker.
Racist or misogynistic.
Codependent mindset.
Scared of disagreements.
Being skinny.

Hetty4 · Answer

Had to think about this one. Personally I wouldn’t date a guy:
- who’s scruffy (to me it says they don’t respect themselves)

- has no intelligence & doesn’t read

- bad sense of humour e. g “it’s not racist” or sexist jokes

- has no ambition or at least future plans

- can’t communicate (I realise men and women communicate differently but regular and honest communication will do)

-disappears for long periods of time and acts like it’s normal

Luopio27 · Answer

You answered your own question. It was somewhere there were you mentioned 99% women are not 9/10 in looks.

I wouldn't be suprised if most who claim can't get a girl is because they want only those victoria secret, playboy model types, not the avarage mother look a likes.

Adam1978 · Answer

Seems you are looking to be crown king of simps. It's not just about finding a woman it's about finding a good woman and they are getting exstinct. So the complaint is because there is so much trash out there. Not because there isn't women out there.

dustybiker · Answer

Those two things are easily fixed. It’s the effort that is lacking.. Maybe a little bit of denial mixed in. One has to admit a problem before it can be fixed.

Hannah_le · Answer

If their standards are too high so be it lmao. But to be fair it’s honestly mostly guys with poor hygiene and a shit or clingy personality

shanom · Answer

Because women are financially liberated they ignore average and below average men. They want the Jason Momoa of the world, and many women have jobs but still look down on men that make less than them. It is considered dating down to date a man that makes less. If you're not 6' tall, 6 figure salary, hung and athletic, those women don't want you

pixie215 · Answer

undatable-- would be an unfaithful doesn't know what he wants game player but still wants to hold on to you. yep in that situation now and i told him he is not for me and well now the stalker has kicked in. go figure

TwinkleLily5 · Answer

A Man: Who doesn’t want to work  Too clingy Likes to play mind games Wants to split the date dinner bill Player Talks too much about themselves  Boring conversations I could go on and on lol 😝

Avicenna · Answer

Funny how no one has mentioned that most of these financially independent women are still in the throes of hypergamy...

Agape93 · Answer

Toxic behaviors, inability to be a grown up, ignorance, belief differences we cannot overcome, sex offenses in the past etc.

Ladies, what besides bad personality or poor hygiene, would make a man "undateable" in your eyes?

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