This guy I’m dating told me he doesn’t believe in love but it’s giving me mixed signals?

[Anonymous]

Hi! So I started dating this guy about 1 month ago. So far we have had 4 dates.
He told me that he is looking for something serious and we have so much chemistry.

Yesterday, he surprised telling me that he doesn’t really believe in falling in love. He was a little drunk and ended up telling me that he has been hurt so much on the past.

I also have been hurt a lot on the past but I’m more optimistic.

What confuses me it’s that he it’s always the one talking about commitment. He it’s always bringing up the subject. Yesterday, he gave me all that speech about not believing in love. He closed up the night asking me if I wanted to try it and that sometimes you just have to “jump to the water”

I’m so confused right now and now I’m afraid that he will hurt me but it has been just 1 month.

I would really like to heard some opinions and thank you!!!

[Thewiseowlman]

Most men idealize love in a way that he is loved by his mother. The unconditional love. The type of love that doesn't care who he his or what he does. Many of us search our whole life for this love in a form of acceptance. We want to be accepted and be good enough despite the many inadequacies in our life.

On a subconscious level we are aware that our worth as a man is defined by what we are and not who we are. Such as our accomplishments, compentencies, how much money we make, how tall and attractive we are. These are things the society has used to determined our worth as a man.

Weather they want to admit it or not every man know this. So when a man say he doesn't believe in love, what he is describing is unconditional love. Deep down, he may feel that the day he loose any of the qualities he has that you found attractive about him, you will no longer want him.

Maybe he has already experienced it in the past, maybe he was with a girl and he went through a rough time in his life and she left him because he is no longer worthy. So from that experience, he come to the conclusion that there's no such thing as love.

I don't know this man, I don't know his socio economic status or what he looks like but ask yourself this, if tomorrow he lost everything, lost all his money, his job, everything he owns and his friends and hit rock bottom will you still accept him?

[crossdressingrihno]

Honestly to me it sounds more like he's worried or scared of having his heart broken

It's not that he doesn't want you it's more like he doesn't want to lose you if that makes sense

In his state of mind he might break up with you but worth notes that's not because he doesn't want you it's because he's afraid you'll break up with him kind of a stressful thing to deal with on both sides and if that time comes where he tries to break up and if you think it's because he is just afraid of having you break up with him probably the best thing to do is just to reassure him that is if you want him if not then by all means just let him break up with you but if you legitimately fall for him then figuratively keep him on a leash

I'm going to use terminology that isn't meant to be an insult but may come off as an insult

Dogs May Wonder off if they are left alone

[crossdressingrihno]

Also I'm not saying go trying to control him

I'm saying that he might make a few irrational decisions that he might regret because fear

I know about this because I used to be one of these guys who was paranoid of being left alone so I broke up with someone I cared about because I didn't want her to break up with me it was stupid and I've learned from my mistakes but I don't want myself or others to make the same mistake so I decided to give you a little bit of a warning

[Sam_The_Savage]

Guy usually spoke truth when they are drunk... he scared from commitment as you said bkoz of his past.

[scott04sa22]

sounds like commitment issues from him