My boyfriend and I are dating for over a year. he's currently abroad for work and will return in two months. I also got my career obligations and so we spent one month in one city and one in another. I try to visit as much as I can. He mentioned couple of times that he will return to my city for good and renovate his apartment and settle down (he never openly asked me to move in but he gives me hints that maybe we could do that). He’s my first love at 27 and i’m the one who during sex asked him to marry me and be together, but when is done I take it back not that i wouldn’t want you but i’m not ready for family or kids and i like how we still got our freedom and time to pursue hobbies and career. I recently got a job offer and im working on starting my own business so I didn’t have much time to catch up with him. He was at a wedding of his best friends and was sending me pics. I had my interview so I couldnt go with him. Things got emotional and he drunk dialed me at 5am to tell me that he loves me and he’s thinking of me and that I inspire him to learn to love and trust and be kinder human being. Normally he’s supportive and always there for me but doesn't really communicate his feelings. I know that about him so I love him regardless. One time he told me how his parents divorce left him torn and made him not believe in love. I am the exact opposite of that so i was surprised to get his call, it was very sweet and sentimental and we both cried cause of distance and our desire to reunite. I’m planning to go visit him next month and so I might have been occupied with other stuff and kind of neglected him for a while not on purpose but im constantly working and attending extra courses for my business. Lately i’ve been focusing on that and called less so he started calling me more and gifting me stuff. After we talked I opened my messages he left me a sad song, missed call and texts can't stop thinking of you, I guess I love you, you make my life brighter.
Boyfriend not believing in love but actually does?
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Understood. And what is the question here?
what do we do after this? I didn't get the chance to talk with him or video call and the last time he told me I love you was a while back, when he’s sober and we are together he's so affectionate but feels like he puts a wall and blocks out the feelings. A month ago I got a similar call while he was drunk and on vacations asking me if I wanted to see him he would leave the boys take a flight and come and see me. Before I started working for my career development I was super attentive to the point where I felt like I lost my self so I took a step back and we kind of took a break and reunited but this time I have taken actions to develop myself and improve and my priorities shifted. I still love him and want to be together but I feel like he’s worrying i’m drifting away and instead of asking me he goes above and beyond to not lose me and he won’t cause I want to be with him but as equals as we had an argument some weeks ago and he told me that im always busy and he’s with his friends out getting drunk to forget that i’m not all over him as before and I told him that I feel he tries to treat me as housewife but I dont want that and he actually liked me for my strong character and work ethic but now he seems to feel threatened by that. I’m overall confused
It sounds more of a him issue than a you issue. I suggest you both talk it out heart to heart and no lying. Make sure you mention everything you have said here to him. Preferably do so face to face. He may not know what he does reflects on you like that. Make it clear what he does and how it makes you feel. Good luck.