Am I doing dating wrong?

[Anonymous]

Hello, 24 year old Male here in the United States. Something I don’t really understand about dating that I had a question about. My question is this: Is it normal to date multiple people at the same time? People my age call it “talking to”. As in, a woman talking to 4–5 guys at once before she decides who to be exclusive with them. She’s dating,(or talking to) and possibly sleeping with these guys. Is it strange that I find that odd and quite honestly repulsive? I can’t do that myself. I can only date one person at a time. I like to get to know one person at a time. Not 4–5 people at once and then slowly cut off the losers who I wouldn’t want to be with until I pick the “winner” that I’d like to be exclusive with. That seems like a job interview. That makes me feel less like a top choice/priority and more like an option/back-up plan. Also, I won’t date someone that sees multiple people at once and a girl that I WAS seeing recently told me “all women are like that”. Like I don’t want to be on a date with a girl and get the thought of “yeah, she just went on a date with a guy before me, or she had sex with some guy before coming out on this date with me.” Is this really the normal way of dating? Do I need to change my mindset and be like everybody else and see multiple people at once? I really only want to date one person at a time. It’s seems impossible to find others especially women who have that same mindset.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

You’re not “dating wrong.” Everyone is different when it comes to dating, it’s just something you have to communicate with people when you go on dates. If you expect exclusivity on dates, let it be known.


That’s usually how dates go, but I dont know about sleeping with dates.. I never did that and I don’t know anyone who does. It’s normal for people to talk to others when in the “talking stage,” because nothing is exclusive and people like to keep their options open if one fails. The dating scene is a bit of a mess, and leads to lots of heartbreaks. Unfortunately, it happens to us girls too, not just guys. I think many people do it so they don’t put all their eggs in one basket… Meaning, they don’t put your heart into one person because it’s not guaranteed it will work out, and it will cause heartbreak.


I never liked the whole dating scene or how people go about dating. I never like the idea of going on dates with multiple people, or talking to multiple people. It’s just rude, in my opinion. I wouldn’t treat someone like a second option, and I wouldn’t lead someone on to think that the dates with them is going well, and then dump them when I decide I like someone else better. I prefer exclusivity in dating. Only talking to one person, going on dates with that one person, hoping that all works out well and ends up in a relationship with that one person. If it fails, that’s fine… Go back and find one other person to go on dates with and repeat the cycle.

[CoffeeBeanBlack]

People are shaped by their expeirences, culture and other influences. You can date 1 person at a time if you want. Thats for you. Date people that date 1 at a time if you want. I'm not particularly good at dating multiple people but thats because I usually find 1 woman to be a lot to handle anyway. I'm not against talking to multiple people nor having sex with multiple people. Its just not something I feel I'm good at, though I'm trying. You could learn to be less judgmental, or you can take the comfortable route and keep looking for people that are more your speed. Good luck.

And no you aren't dating wrong but you aren't dating in the most efficient way either.

[MCheetah]

It's not you. Dating just sucks nowadays for ANY man who isn't a 7 or higher in looks and six feet minimum. Hell, it sucks even for them.

[Asker]

Lmao. Two things people can’t really change. You can change your body but not your face. Also I think less than 15% of the U. S. population is over 6 feet tall. Those are some ridiculous standards. Lmao.

[MCheetah]

It's 25%. 25% of North American men are six feet and taller. 55% are 5'10" and taller.
And yeah, don't go looking for logic when it comes to women in the dating scene.