I like a guy at my studio but I’m not sure if my feelings for him are mutual. I’m afraid to ask him out as I don’t want to chance the vibe?

[Anonymous]

For about 2-3 months I’ve been crush on this guy at my studio. He is kinda awkward but not shy, more reserved. He sits next to me any time he has the opportunity and equally initiates conversations. While they are brief they are consistent and I learn a bit about him every time we chat.
About two months ago we went out for coffee, it wasn’t a “date” rather he offered to help with a side project of mine and our studio wasn’t the best place to chat..
Since then he has continued to chat/sit next to me but nothing became of it. My friend thinks that he sees me as his yoga buddy and another friend believes he is unaware of my intrest in him.
I’ve been known to shoot my shot but I really like him and he is the most compatible guy I’ve ever met. I fear asking him out could change our dynamic for the worst and that is my biggest fear.
thoughts? Advice? Please be blunt, no need in gassing me up for failure.

[HollyK21]

I get your dilemma and it’s a tough spot. Either of your friends can be right about where he stands, but remember this is all speculation and nothing will be fact until you hear it from him. That being said, if I were you I’d be asking myself what I can live with (in a non dramatic way lol). If you hold your friendship with him in such high regard that you can’t bring yourself to risk it, then accept your stance and try working your way out of that crush, whether it’s trying to find dates, interacting with him less or whatever.


However, I believe the saying “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” holds a lot of weight in situations like this. You could confess and have it completely work in your favor, or it can be to your demise, but if it doesn’t work out then at least you had the courage to take a leap of faith and try, and if anything I’d be proud of myself for that alone. What happens in the end is ultimately up to you though.


If he wasn’t interested then it doesn’t have to destroy your dynamic, you can brush it off and act normal. If he were the sort to be awkward and stand-offish then that’s pretty immature in my opinion and you don’t want that anyway.

[Asker]

Thank you for your input. I agree with everything that you said. I don’t really consider him a “friend” though I probably should because I think our relationship has transformed into that. I want to get to know him on a more intimate level but I fear he may not be attracted to me or thinks we may too different to date. For example he’s Eastern European, in his 30s, self proclaimed “workaholic and I’m in my 20s, I do freelance and just got signed to a model agency out of state. I only mention this because I may have to move soon/in the next year or two. Ughhh I’m def overthinking.
I want to ask him out via text so I don’t freak out in front of him but I know that’s not a good move.

Also please excuse my grammar, using the site via mobile sucks

[HollyK21]

I’d honestly say not to let fear hold you back. The worst he can do is say no, and he’s that would suck but it won’t kill you. I totally understand not wanting to mess things up, but a mature person isn’t going to take your crush on them and turn it into a reason to be awkward, UNLESS he’s already dating or in a relationship with someone.
I would definitely say to ask him out in person and just make it casual. Like ‘hey I was thinking of going to the bar with some friends would you wanna join?’ Or ‘would you wanna do something outside of here sometime? I think it’d be fun’. Your approach is everything, so make it light, casual and upbeat. if he says no then it’ll be easier to recover from, or just don’t let it be a huge blow in general.

[kabirr01]

You should give him some hints there are many and then you can ask him directly