He sometimes doesn't text me back until the next day or 2 days later im starting to feel invalidated?

[Anonymous]

4 year relationship. Very busy with his business but a text takes 2 seconds.
Example today he text me that he was super busy with work can we hang out tomorrow night instead. I texted yes
Then I texted him some stock info and I called him for a quick hello.
I have not heard back it's been 6 hours.

This is common texting phone communication from him.
Last week same thing. 2 days of no response. Then when I get mad he gets all oh darling I'm sorry.
I don't know but I'm feeling like I'm not important enough to him or something and I almost feel like breaking up.

Updates

+1 y

Maybe I'm too needy but something feels off with this. Like disrespectful or something.
Or maybe I just don't understand the level of anxiety he has with his business.

[RSav4013]

I can relate to him honestly, it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. When I'm really busy with work it consumes my life. Sometimes I'll see I have texts from people and I'll think to myself "I'll just respond later, they understand that I'm busy". Turns out, I was wrong. I unintentionally hurt people's feelings by not replying right away. The best thing you can do is call them and tell them how you're feeling. Most likely they don't even realize that you're feeling neglected.

[Asker]

Thanks for responding. Lol.
Not responding right away and not responding for hours or the next day is very different.
I've mentioned this to him numerous times ge just says I'm sorry blah blah.
I don't even care really but it makes me feel like I'm not important enough. He probably met up with a friend and had drinks or something but I'm getting sick of it.

[Asker]

Yet he will call me at night when he's having work anxiety or if it's 7am and he's horny being we live 10 min from each other.

[Asker]

But I get it and yes it does consume his life so maybe he shouldn't be in a relationship?

[RSav4013]

Well that's what I mean when I said I'd forget to respond. Sometimes a day or 2 might go bye. Doesn't mean that I dint care about them, because I do. But my mind is just so focused on my work that when it's finally done I just go home and sleep and forget to re-check my phone. Just tell them how you feel, it's the best way to make sure you express yourself and maybe they're actually going through a tough time and could use support but they are so overwhelmed they don't know what to do.

[Asker]

Thats exactly what he says.
Thanks! He doesn't even realize because his work is just blowing up his brain.

[RSav4013]

I'm glad I could help

[Anonymous]

My best friend always told me, you only have one life to live so never let yourself continue being unhappy or unsure of how a situation makes you feel.

I don't think you're being too needy. I think he can be better at communicating with you especially if he loves you and you've told him how him doing that makes you feel.

I think going 2 days without checking in on you to see how you've been is a lot. In this day and age, who is really without their phones for that long of a time period? Especially running a business.

I've been in your situation so I completely understand how it feels. I know how it feels to not fit in your boyfriend's life and day to day. I think you have to really sit there and see, is this what you want in the long run? 5 years from now, can you handle him still doing this if he doesn't change?

[Anonymous]

I've never seen someone busy every hour/minute of the day. Even when running a business, there's a break somewhere. Lunch break, rest break, bathroom break. He can respond during one of those breaks. There's also time before opening and there's time after closing. I'm not buying he's so busy. I think your texts just aren't in his top priority so he's using the business as an excuse. I would forgive hours of no response but a whole day or two when everyone eats, sleeps, and sh*ts everyday, meaning those are three valid times a day when someone is checking their phone... yeah I'm not buying it.

[OlderAndWiser]

You are 45+ years old, you have been in a relationship for 4 years, and you are still relying on texting? What is wrong here?

[Asker]

I'm on the phone all day at work and texting is what everyone does for a quick recognition

[OlderAndWiser]

No, it's not what everyone does. When you talk on the phone, you have real communications and these silly ass issues about "he doesn't respond quick enough" just disappear. Having a relationship requires making an effort. If the relationship isn't worth making that effort, you are sending a clear message to your partner.