Do you think it's ok to ask someone you're dating about their ex?

[Anonymous]

Questions like when was your last relationship/why did it end/How many relationships have you been in?

In a way I feel like the past should stay in the past. But also it's important to know if the person you're dating cheated on their partner/just went through a divorce/has a baby mama (or daddy) lol.

Updates

+1 y

Guys I get that it’s important to know what you’re signing up for but I also think we can’t be so judgmental.

People evolve and we all get a second chance at life every single day when we wake up in the morning. If God or the universe can be so forgiving and give us another chance every day, what makes you think we can’t be?

[caring__1]

Show an interest in discovering what the person learned from past experiences, but don't ask for details or numbers. Details will just lead to discomfort from comparisons or limit things you can do if they've done it with others in the past. You want to learn how their past impacted them and what changes they made as a result of the acquired knowledge. We all are a result of our previous experiences. Had we had different experiences, we would be different people. If you like what you see in the person now, never beat them up for their past.

[Asker]

Very well said

[glennos89]

I think being open and honest to eachother is super important for a relationship and their should be no taboo's to discuss or ask eachother. As long as both sides leave the past in the past when asked and expect the answer that is given then I feel it should be ok to ask

[HighValue]

Yes. Someone's past can show what kind of person they are morally, their decision making abilities, and what you may have to deal with if you are with them.

For example, if they are into casual sex and you are not and don't want a partner that did that, that would matter. It would also matter if they have kids from one or more exes. Or if they are still in contact with any ex.

Those things matter and should be discussed by the third date in my opinion because after 3 dates, that is when I would decide whether to try having a relationship with her or to end it and move on.

[Berethor]

Once a hoe, always a hoe, I believe that the past says a lot about the present.

[Asker]

People evolve...

[Berethor]

I don't believe in that, I don't trust hoes, god might be forgiving but I don't. :)

tvtropes.org/.../SlidingScaleOfIdealismVersusCynicism

tvtropes.org/.../MadonnaWhoreComplex

[Clairvear69]

No, they ask they can become single. Had guy ask, I tell him good bye and leave date.

[Asker]

why?

[Clairvear69]

Why I worry about ex girlfriend. I make own mind up about guy.

[Asker]

Very true, very wise...

[whirled_up_girl]

Sure I think that's fine, it's part of getting to know someone.

[Emilyis]

If I wasn't married and was dating, I think I would want to know about her.

[Fireguy17]

Not right away.
It usually comes up in a conversation down the road.

[bowenw]

It's reasonable to ask if done tactfully and nonjudgmentally.

[Twalli]

It's important to know that, but it shouldn't influence your decision about them.

[In_Trance]

Sure

[clemdenim]

Nope