He rain checked our date a week ago because he said he wasn’t feeling good, but I haven’t heard from him since. Was he blowing me off?

[Anonymous]

[HollyK21]

I would say yes, because not only did he not tray and arrange another day for the date but he hasn’t even reached out. Don’t consider this a loss, because if he’s not really connecting with you or isn’t not serious about dating and only looking for casual/fun then it’s better for you to know now, rather than invest more of your time and get your feelings hurt in the future.

[HollyK21]

**try

[Asker]

Thanks for your help. Yeah I think he seemed a little low effort. It was weird cuz he was so nice when he asked to rain check.

[HollyK21]

Trust me, it’s definitely not weird lol, in fact I think that’s why nice guys most commonly get away with poor behavior. Being “nice” immediately makes them the safe choice, and in turn, we absentmindedly give them the benefit of the doubt and credit that they didn’t even have to work or prove themselves to gain. Remember, niceness doesn’t always equate to goodness, and can in fact just be the mask people wear to get what they truly want, then fall back on their kindness again to get them out of having to take accountability, or use it in an effort to avoid confrontation/not looking like a jackass.

[Asker]

Wow you are spot on. I love this! Yeah I’m trying to adopt a new mentality about dating and one is that I’m still so young and I’m in the best shape and look the best I ever have, and I need to get over bad instances quicker and be more resilient. Who the fuck are some of these guys who act this way? LOL they’re probably not all relationship material anyway.

[HollyK21]

That is the best time to receive love in your life — when you are feeling like your best self☺️. Having bad instances and not being happy about the outcome is human, and very normal. What matters is how we respond to those negative situations, and I’ll always advise taking them in stride. As far as I’m concerned, him ghosting is a blessing in disguise because he was clearly not looking for anything serious or that required too much effort. That or he just wasn’t connecting with you, I can’t say that isn’t a possibility as well. Regardless, it’s better to be rid of him sooner rather than having invested more time/energy/effort into a dead-end situation.

[DavidRaul]

Maybe yes. he's trying to avoid you and possibly planning to ghost you.

[boggboss]

Possibly

[In_Trance]

Seems like it