He hasn't called in 3 days since our date?

[Anonymous]

we had very good chemistry the sexual attraction was there and we were intimate. He told me how beautiful I was after and we had a great time. Does this mean he won't call at all now? Usually I would wait a few dates to sleep with a man but with him the chemistry was crazy. I refuse to call him I just thought he was really into me so this has thrown me back. when he was leaving that night he told me how hot it was and that he had a great time.

[Anonymous]

Well, who was the one who called the other last time? If it was him, you can call him (or rather text him so that it doesn't get akward) cause maybe he just thinks it's your turn.

On the other hand that is exactly what I do with one night stands... Also how long did you know each other before? If you know each other less than a month (two months) and haven't really connected (had long conversations, texted each other) before, than this was most probably just a one night stand. I know it's bad, but I would never date a girl that would sleep with me on the first date.

It doesn't matter if you've done it before or not but you automatically lose the guys respect. You could be the best girl, interesting etc. but if you make it too easy, we assume it was this easy for all the other guys before.

[vmw2008]

I'm not disagreeing with what you posted, I'm just curious. Are you concerned at all that a woman may not date you because *you* had sex on the first date?

[Opinion Owner]

Not really... They mostly do want to date me after (or look like they do) and since I don't want to date them after that in the first place I'm not concerned about it at all.

But I guess it kinda depends on your history with the guy. If it was a girl I liked before it happened and knew her well I would certainly be concerned (even if it was our first real date).

Also... if I the girl was like 'I don't care what you think about it, I want sex' and she would be interesting I might call her...

[Opinion Owner]

The point is that you don' t want a needy or weak individual and since the rule is 'Don't put out before the third date' we tend to assume things if we get it too soon.

To be honest I even got angry at one girl for putting out too soon. I really liked her personality (or what I've seen of it) but I just could not risk being with her if she was easy. My (guy) friend went through the very same thing a week ago. Resist the urge... It's like us saying 'I love you' on the first date.

[Asker]

I just was so into it I really didn't care I don't regret it and the sex was amazing I will just be disappointed if I don't hear from him again and in fact I have been honest with him from the get go. He has been calling me and texting me but he has not called since. I text him that I had a good time and he said he had fun as well and hoped I was having a great day. If I don't hear from him I will not call.

[vmw2008]

Lol but the difference is, you're initiating it. She didn't come out and have sex by herself which would be the equivalent of an "I love you." You initiate sex, and then you're p*ssed she was attracted to you enough to do it? Guys are so confusing. You complain about how hard sex is to get and how women don't like sex enough. And then when we give it to you you're p*ssed and hate us for it lol

[Opinion Owner]

I know... But on the other hand... I'm 23, right? And lets say a girl who is 30 asks me to her place at 2am to 'hang out' or 'have a drink'. I did kiss her first and grabbed her and took her to the bedroom... but what else should she expect? She took me to her flat at 2am... to 'hang out'. And we talked about how I've spent time with older women but it was never serious. In the morning however I went to work and she looked really hurt.

[Opinion Owner]

Or there was this other girl who was again older than me... she texted me to 'come to her place' and I was like: 'what will we be doing?' and she was like 'it takes two'. So I came there and of course I initiated it but what was I supposed to do? And she said 'no strings attached'. However, a month later she was like: 'Lets go on a date... ' and she was hurt again...

[Opinion Owner]

However, this is different. This is about the girl having to tease you on a date. You tease back but in the end all you get is a kiss or two but not more. It leaves you wanting more. You think about the girl at night etc. It's a good thing.

I would not initiate sex on a first date. I wouldn't see how. Only if she invited me to her place and even there I'd not expect her to want me to make a move.

Whatever... just say no. I love women who love sex but we need to feel like we earned it.

[Asker]

So I should just write this guy off? He came to my house we watched a movie had some wine, I just thought who cares if it feels like a mutual hot connection I didn't expect to sleep with him there was no plan to it was 8pm on a week night so I didn't think anything of it I really enjoyed it and I am disappointed because we are both 30 and I did expect to hear from him this has not happened to me before maybe also its a blow to my ego lol

[Opinion Owner]

Well,to me it sounds like it was a one night stand. I can't be absolutely certain... there are many ways in which he could still be interested but if he didn't call than he probably isn't interested. Don't worry about your ego... you said yourself that the sex was good and that's always a nice treat. Next time you'll know and you'll make a guy so hot for you by rejecting him on the first few dates that he won't be able to stop thinking about you.

[Anonymous]

If he really likes you he will contact you again...if not oh well lots of other guys out their...